well fuck me!
i hate life sometimes its like. no one cares anymore. i can help everyone but me and i dont understand why. maybe i deal with everyone elses drama so i dont have to deal with my own. i just dont want to live anymore, but it seems like when i get this way i go somewhere on my own away from people and watch the sunset or rise. maybe even do something as simple as stare at the stars to make me fell better and see the beauty in the world. then i come back to reality and it fuckin sucks. i have to deal with dad and i know that as soon as mom goes to florida ( shes going down a few months before i am to get set up) things with jerri are going to get much worse cause she knows that i cant run to mom to tell dad. i know, she knows that i am way to weak to stick up for myself. im going to stop going to counseling. i wont be able to hang out with my friends anymore i have no out let after she goes. im going to be locked up in my room at dads. i dont know what to do. i dont know if i can make it anymore. i just wish that he loved and accepted me for who i am. my mom always did. she may not like it but she always supported me in what ever it was that i was doing. i dont know how everyting is going to turn out. i wish everything would just stop. im ready to get out of this mess. im sorry everone