Why am I always so tired?
Well I’m tired this morning. Again.
I’m starting to wonder if it’s possible to not feel tired. The weekends roll around and I sleep for like 15 hours and only eventually get up because my arms are cramping and falling asleep. Even after all that I’m “still” tired. I didn’t even go to bed that late last night and as far as I could tell any way I slept through the night. Even so I feel like I can barely keep my eyes open, I yawn every few minutes and all I can think of is how badly I just wish I could close my eyes even for a few minutes. My thoughts are fuzzy and unfocused, I yawn every few minutes, and my eyes are watery and bleary. My mind keeps wandering off into in to daydreams that make no sense and I can hardly concentrate at all.
Caffeine helps a little bit; I’m currently drinking a large mug of unsweetened black tea. I used to drink coffee and soda at work but since I cut out the sugary beverages I no long drink sodas and the coffee here at work is so foul that it’s undrinkable with out large amounts of sugar and creamer. Even with the caffeine I’m only marginally more awake only now I’m jittery as well. I have no idea what is causing this non-stop exhaustion. It’s been going on to one degree or another for years. I don’t even remember what “well rested” feels like any more. I’m always tired, the only question is “how” tired. It could be one or more of my meds. One of them I know for a fact used to knock me flat like an elephant tranquilizer when I first started taking it. I’m more adjusted to it now, which means that in theory it kicks in about 1 to 2 hours after I take it at night and makes me so tired I stagger around and slur my words like I’m drunk. It’s “supposed” to be out of my system for the most part by the time I get up for the most part. I suppose it is as out of my system as it can get by the time I get up as now that I’m adjusted it no longer routinely takes a cattle prod to get me out of bed in the morning. I may not be too coherent or fully conscious but I do manage to drag my self out of bed every morning somehow. I would switch meds but for all it’s failings it does do what it’s supposed to do and it’s taken me ages (years) to adjust to it and who knows what I might get with another spin of the psychopharmaceuticals wheel. I just wish I wasn’t always so tired. All I can think about for most of the day is going home and collapsing on the bed. When I get home at night to eat, watch TV and read it just feels like I’m killing time until I get to go to bed. I hate feeling like this.
I’m starting to wonder if it’s possible to not feel tired. The weekends roll around and I sleep for like 15 hours and only eventually get up because my arms are cramping and falling asleep. Even after all that I’m “still” tired. I didn’t even go to bed that late last night and as far as I could tell any way I slept through the night. Even so I feel like I can barely keep my eyes open, I yawn every few minutes and all I can think of is how badly I just wish I could close my eyes even for a few minutes. My thoughts are fuzzy and unfocused, I yawn every few minutes, and my eyes are watery and bleary. My mind keeps wandering off into in to daydreams that make no sense and I can hardly concentrate at all.
Caffeine helps a little bit; I’m currently drinking a large mug of unsweetened black tea. I used to drink coffee and soda at work but since I cut out the sugary beverages I no long drink sodas and the coffee here at work is so foul that it’s undrinkable with out large amounts of sugar and creamer. Even with the caffeine I’m only marginally more awake only now I’m jittery as well. I have no idea what is causing this non-stop exhaustion. It’s been going on to one degree or another for years. I don’t even remember what “well rested” feels like any more. I’m always tired, the only question is “how” tired. It could be one or more of my meds. One of them I know for a fact used to knock me flat like an elephant tranquilizer when I first started taking it. I’m more adjusted to it now, which means that in theory it kicks in about 1 to 2 hours after I take it at night and makes me so tired I stagger around and slur my words like I’m drunk. It’s “supposed” to be out of my system for the most part by the time I get up for the most part. I suppose it is as out of my system as it can get by the time I get up as now that I’m adjusted it no longer routinely takes a cattle prod to get me out of bed in the morning. I may not be too coherent or fully conscious but I do manage to drag my self out of bed every morning somehow. I would switch meds but for all it’s failings it does do what it’s supposed to do and it’s taken me ages (years) to adjust to it and who knows what I might get with another spin of the psychopharmaceuticals wheel. I just wish I wasn’t always so tired. All I can think about for most of the day is going home and collapsing on the bed. When I get home at night to eat, watch TV and read it just feels like I’m killing time until I get to go to bed. I hate feeling like this.