i smell.

[nbjones]

stress is pouring out of my ears, i swear i was going to explode (not that it would be a new event)! earlier today i needed to get out of the apartment so i spent a good, expensive hour driving around akron wasting gas. i needed it though and it was worth the quarter tank, to be honest. i was still feeling like crap so i threw on some jogging/dancing? clothes and headed to the rec. on campus to run. i'm trying so hard not to allow people or things make me feel like shit anymore and its only kinda working. it felt pretty good to get some of that anger and frustration out of me...for the short amount of time that lasted. i think this weekend i am going to get a bike to go riding in the parks around the valley. actually, i'm super afraid to ride down there alone because i think killers live there. they most certainly live in beaver creek state park in east liverpool! i should have gotten a puppy instead of these 4 freaking cats! that way i would be able to take a 'weapon' with me when i go. i wonder if someone will let me borrow their dog. or mace. oh well, i'm excited now! a bike :D

i just need to get out....i live alone so a lot of the time i don't talk face-to-face with friends or people i give a shit about. sometimes on the phone but other than that, i could go a week without actually seeing anyone worth my while. at the same time, its not exactly horrible. i wish i were even more anti-social...people give me anxiety anyway.

shower.

btw, i love with with all of my heart and soul.

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"disorganized fun". its like my life but without the "fun".