(513) Don't escape because you're afraid.
I honestly don't know what I'll do without Prints,
it's been three years and counting,
thou organizers complete me.
And to usher in the new year,
it'll be no surprise that
thou magical square havens house my daily thoughts.
...
this mini work of art,
is to die for, gorgeously beautiful authentic dress.
...
It's the 29th of the 12th,
and it's that time of the year for reflections and new resolutions,
but really, resolutions?
Who keep them nowadays?
Reflections are nothing but snippets of memories,
and I realized 2009 is full to the brim with them.
'09 is when I had a taste of living alone,
cook, ok fine not cooking,
do house chores like laundry and mopping and cleaning,
chores I'll never even do when living in the east.
Independence was not that frightening,
will be moving out in two weeks time, it was an eye-opener.
'09 is when the two sides of the coin for singlehood are felt,
it's extra quiet and the serenity is overwhelming.
'09 is also a year where
I've had my fair share of ridiculous pick-up lines,
the EPIC FAIL Award definitely went to that scribble:
"You look so sweet, you put Hershey's out of business"
Seriously, if you even know me,
I hate chocolates with all my heart, that line was just FAIL all over.
A close second went to "Hello, I'm Justin... just incredible,"
I swear my intolerance level hit a high with that one.
'09 is a year of movies and bonding sessions,
Twilight saga's New Moon midnight escape
with my sister and Mama Ani was blissful.
Which reminds me,
Tumblr is full of WIN.
And I can never understand the ads @ Downtown East,
the whole big heads small bodies concept,
beyond freaky. Cute, but freaky.
'09 is dedicated to the boosting of economic slump,
via mid-year, IT fairs, end-of-year and Christmas sales
God bless book fairs and Penguin/ Times sales @ Expo,
Realized I have an unexplainable pet peeve
for camera flashes that are reflected on the mirror,
annoy the shitting brix out of me.
Secretly, I do,
especially when the kids are pampered and way too whiny,
good god what I wouldn't do to bake them happy brownies ~
This book reminds me of geeky pick-up lines,
4. You compute me.
3. Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator.
2. You must be Windows 95,
because you got me so unstable.
1. You've stolen the ASCII to my heart.
(EPIC WIN)
Since this will be one long scroll,
I might as well litter it with random WAY BETTER pick-up lines I bumped into online.
The Hershey's pick-up line was so effing lame, I was truly traumatized,
I wondered how many girls you've used that EPIC FAIL sentence to.
Which got me curious,
I found a couple of good ones thanks to Google magic,
and I have to admit,
I'll probably fall for some of the genuinely creative lines.
There's the Harry Potter pick-up lines,
7. If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss.
6. I must have had some Felix Felicis,
because I think I'm about to get lucky.
5. I know we're not in Professor Flitwick's class,
but you still are charming.
4. You are like a bottle of Skele-Gro: you're growing me a bone.
(??! B+ for authenticity though)
3. Being without you
is like being afflicted with the Cruciatus Curse.
2. You can have the portkey to my heart.
1. Are you using the Confundus Charm
or are you just naturally mind blowing?
(not going to lie, this one is a winner.
Any guy who knows his HP spells THIS well makes me smile.)
'09 is dedicated to the countless trips to IKEA
for homemade projects and creativity streaks.
And them irresistible simple hotdogs,
god bless.
There's also the Twilight pick-up lines:
6. Hi, my name is Jasper,
I can make you feel good.
5. Like Edward,
I'm a pianist and I do it with all ten fingers.
(this one creeps me out -_-'')
4. You look cold,
want to use me as a blanket?
3. I'd love to see how many houses we can smash.
(Emmett much!)
2. You look imprintable,
I mean impeccable in that outfit.
1. I'm an addict. Will you be my heroin?
(OK BY FAR THE ULTIMATE WINNER,
I'LL DEFINITELY BE SPEECHLESS IF A GUY IS THIS CREATIVE)
Then there's the Lord of the Rings pick-up lines,
9. Someday, baby, I'll wear your ring.
8. I have to get
my Ring on top of that fiery Mount.
( ---_---'' )
7. Want to see my Precious?
6. You're the Arwen to my Aragon.
5. If I told you, you have a nice hroa,
would you hold it against me?
(how adorable is this! hroa!)
4. Perhaps you would
like to visit the Crack of Doom with me?
3. You must be an Ainur,
let's make sweet music together.
2. The Horn of Gondor is so powerful
that people will come from miles away.
I have the Horn of Gondor.
.
.
.
1. My eye is bigger than Sauron's.
(That Sauron line, I actually made that one up,
couldn't find a truly funny LOTR pick-up line,
there's the "My ring is bigger than Saruman's",
but Saruman has really REALLY thin fingers,
so any Ring is bigger and heavier than the one he's wearing, really.)
'09 is a year for food,
random late-night quick munchies,
failed detoxs and more food,
cheers to more of that in 2010.
...
'09 is for early celebrations,
quiet night-outs of laughters and unforgettable bruises,
of high podium clinks and unwanted jinx,
of disinfectant smiles and sinful lounges,
of loud desires and colourful sponges.
2010,
I sincerely cannot wait for you any longer.
You'll always be sixteen through my eyes baby love,
you and your endearing habits complete me.
'09 is dedicated to stronger family bonds,
of siblings and cousins and true friendships,
forging undeniably a sturdy source of strength,
my personal pillars of strength.
Those IKEA trips,
'09 serves to commemorate
the many authentic close-to-heart birthday crafts,
and the love for love itself,
it'll fail to seize in the coming years.
Back to the pick-up lines,
of course there are those which are doomed to fail:
5. You be the iceberg, I'll be the Titanic,
and I'll go down on you.
(TRUCKLOAD of FAIL right there)
4. If I toss this 50cent coin,
what are the chances of me getting head?
-___-''
3. Do you have a map?
I get lost in your eyes.
2. Want to free my Willy? It's a whale of a job.
Numero Uno of EPIC FAIL of all time,
Any angel or
angel descending from Heaven pick-up lines,
the whole "Does it hurt, falling from the sky?" and
"Am I dead? Because I must be in Heaven."
and even "Somebody call God because He's missing an angel,"
BEYOND EPIC FAIL,
I feel like diving nose down to the fiery pits of hell.
'09 marks the ultimate year of closer friendships forged,
from all walks of life,
the year one truly sieves out the fair-weathered friends
from the ones who are truly here to stay
for both the ups and downs.
It's not the years and months that matter,
it's those moments you feel vulnerable and tainted,
and still loved for who you truly are,
that's what counts,
that's what 2009 is really all about.
'09 dedicates itself
to days and hours spent away from each other,
being in another country and still be loved regardless.
'09 is precious for the brothers,
the late nights of laughters underneath our very own secret orion nebula,
the early mornings of silent snap shots
and those moments of both beauty as well as ugly mess,
it's amazing how individuals get so close
within a short period of time.
'09 is for moments
where even colouring serves as a serious business,
either that or it's just a Taurean thing.
My personal favourites of pick-up lines?
The ones which are Naruto-related,
they drive me crazy and fortunately the lines have not been used.
Tried to google them, research turned out zilch.
So I came up with my own set,
if I were a guy, I'll use them:
10. You and Me,
we can revive the great Uchiha clan.
9. Your smiles hurt me like a Rasengan,
flash them again till I'm immuned to them.
8. Are you a member of the Akatsuki,
because you just deplete my chakras away.
...
Oh, and 2009 is a bittersweet of perfection,
thanks to the glittery white
snowy-kissies Christmas exchange-gifts night.
7. I lick better than Orochimaru.
6. My snake is bigger than Orochimaru's.
5. You can juin jutsu me anytime.
4. I was just checking you out
from across the room with my Sharingan.
3. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu yourself for me,
because I need all of you day and night.
2. Looking at you
sends chidori up my chakra flows.
.
.
.
1. You are to me what Ramen is to Naruto.
God bless Ion @ Orchard,
Yami Yoghurt is at last accessible.
'09 is for the undying loyalty towards fruity pebbles.
I swear I'll die of diabetes,
but I'll think of that later when they chop off my legs.
Hmmm,
Maybe that's why I'm not destined to be tall y'know,
I have to be accustomed to the sights of lower plains.
Rascal, you're my inspiration.
I'm not afraid to share you both my good and ugly sides,
it's like I've known you for years
and I can comfortably be myself around you.
You are by far one of the strongest people I know,
your laughters your outrageous sense of humour
your strength to go through each day despite all that's happening,
I meant it when I said you're my inspiration,
I hope you know that you've shaken up my life by 5.7 magnitude,
it's really that earth-shattering baby love.
and Beng, you're the newest addition,
I remembered vividly how aloof and arrogant
you were when the whole lot of us stayed over for the slumber party.
Though we met at the last-minute-changes chalet,
I always thought you're angry at me
for saying your helmet was smelly, of course it was not,
I just can't breathe at that point in time.
Now, you're much closer like super-orgy-close closer,
and we get to see the funny you the manja you
and I can't wish for more, through the good and bads,
I'm thankful that you're equally insane and not as guarded.
Blow-Up baby,
what more can I say? You want me to make you cry with my words?
I hate you, I hate everything about you,
I hate how you're like your mother, I hate how you're such a Bree Van De Kamp,
keeping it all together and hiding your deep bruises away in the depth of your veins.
I hate how I refuse to acknowledge your existence in Secondary School
and the minute you came into my life,
you made me love you so effin much, I hate that about you.
You're so annoying, sometimes I wish I can shake you all around,
just to see those tears rolling down uncontrollably,
for your vulnerabilities are by far the most beautiful to me,
that evening under the vines will forever be etched in my memory.
And you know what I hate the most about you,
I truly hate the fact that no matter how gazillion times I use the word 'hate'
you know damn well I love you with all of my eight gates of chakra.
You're my Kakashi, that guiding hand I'll never let go.
I'll make sure I find a worthy pap-pap
to sponsor your Bora-Bora honeymoon with your bitchy husband ok love.
Bitchy, the oldest piece of gem,
and yet the brightest of them all.
You taught me that secrets are the norm in friendships,
live and let live, you may try to deny it, but you and I we're the same.
Except of course, you're the much confident person.
Our mood-swings are insane,
I remembered taking care of you after our Chaos dress try-out and you vomited,
I was hurt that you snapped at me
and the next day you're all
HI HELLO dainty-daisy towards me, I was confused,
and then I realized it takes time to truly love you.
You see no need to please anyone,
you're very protective over your loved ones
and silently you do crave for that special someone to rejuvenate your faith in love,
But I hope you do realize that in all your bochap bitchiness,
you've made me love you more than I can possibly love anyone
and I know that I'm no guy and I can't fulfill your desires
(technically this can be overcome by a strap-on but let's not go there),
but I'm always here, to take care of you when you're sick,
to be your shoulder to cry on when no one layan the tempang you,
to be the one who provides you jacket-warmth at the sofa,
2009 is for you,
after all the donkey years of knowing you from afar,
thank you for being my first baby girl.
Euphoric, you sexy little nymph.
You're my angel, dya'know that,
you literally light up my life with your smiles and laughters,
and your family is just awesome possum,
I love how your niece is so adorable I can eat her up for breakfast lunch and dinner,
hell I can even eat your irresistibly adorable sister.
I love how strong you are emotionally and physically,
you're silently a romantic at heart yet proving to everyone around you
that you can effortlessly stand by your own two feet.
You give me hope in life, you taught me never to give up,
that my love is an angel to me.
and SKL, I know we have our similarities and differences,
now more so evident are the differences,
but you've left a great mark in my life,
those weeks getting to know you and all our Naruto-themed conversations,
they're close to my heart,
I'm never one to forget easily, that you can count on.
Please get well soon,
that pain within, have it fixed aight love.
And no worries, your Patrick and Carebear ring is still safe with me,
you're such a silent sweetheart.
Rasta love, I'm proud of you,
2009 is a milestone of tests and trials,
I'm more than proud of what you've done so far,
inside and out, you've shown credible leadership skills
of which I've never once doubted and when you're out,
you hardly neglect any of us there's no VROOM VROOM about you,
you've changed fo'sho but the changes are endearing,
you're much wiser stronger and dare I say, sexier. It's those biceps baby.
From camps to late-night munchies,
we're getting closer and closer what is this thing!
It's driving me crazy AAAAAH ZOMBIEE!
p.s. the thing about you is, I sincerely want to grow old with you,
I want to pamper your children as much as I pamper you.
You're so my little baby,
I hate you for not making me able to truly be angry with you everrr grrrpfft.
Doodle, I miss you.
I don't know, maybe you're very very busy now, either that or you're nursing a broken fragile organ,
I just want you to know that you're terribly missed.
You're always protecting me and my bimboness, always my knight in shining armour,
always that one special guy with the ability to soothe people with words
and kind gestures, that one sexy beast with the killer fashion sense.
Meet up soon, because this is way too long honey, way too long.
and Eccentric, I don't know if you'll ever read this,
but out of all, I miss you the most.
No amount of wall-to-wall or smses can summarize
how shitty-pithole it was when you're not in any of the meet-ups,
I sincerely hope you're doing fine because truth be told,
we are still incomplete without you sexy love.
and Preppy, my life is meaningless without you.
You make me laugh every god damn day,
it hurts like gastric ulcer to even be in a room with you.
You clean after my mess, you cook for me, you do everything for me,
it's training for the future y'know,
when I'm all alone and old and bed-ridden with thirty-eight fat cats,
you can efficiently cater to my needs, very good A+.
2010, I shall strive to EEEAAAA you sampai coma,
just watch me, I'll win this time round, just you wait.
And how can I forget, '09 is a year of drama for him,
of non-intricate lies and puppy love,
of psychotic underage obsession to the point of suffocation,
a redefinition of psychoism so strong it's actually a combined force
of the mega level of me-fad-q-lala-izhan-ea-ayun-ayiz-affyq psycho powers,
"Terencat Otak" is an understatement
when it comes to you my dear toddler.
I sincerely hope I get to meet you one day,
you've officially redefined
Crazy-Psychotic Possessive Bitch to a whole new supra level.
So here's to 2010,
free of insanely clingy and needy obsessive exes.
By the end of the day,
or year, whichever floats your boat,
2009 is all about our FB PM threads and crazy random tags,
our impromptu meet-ups and bittersweet surprises,
our fights and moments of killing each other
and then a minute after, making up and swinging jokes around.
Full of laughters, even our wall-to-walls are insane,
I just re-read them and I swear to God they never fail to keep me warm inside,
better than ice cream better than any pap-pap watchings
in, the, world.
Hands-down, picture of the year,
Because we just love your shocked balls-tersumbat face,
makes us love you more by the triple dozens.
...
31st December 2009,
Portsmouth vs Arsenal,
final match of the year, be my mistletoe,
and end it with a passionate red-cherry golden experience.
...
Which reminds me,
being a skinnyfuck like her
does not entail instant happiness,
'09 is finally the year I break up with Mr Du Lcolax.
Crunches and midnight runs, thou art thy 2010.
...
'09 is far from being the end,
it's only the beginning.
I hope you do know,
and I'm that girl,
that weird girl who defies the norm, that kooky flower who orders
Big Mac without pickles without buns and sprinkles fruity pebbles on anything possible,
that cookie cruncher who hates roses and chocolates,
who finds Marilyn Manson exceptionally sexy
and still has a passion for Les Miśerables,
I'm that shy butterfly who hums
to Eliza Doolittle while reading ELLE,
and instantly the adrenaline junkie when it comes
to bungee-jumping and insane jackass dares.
I won't even think twice to stick my hand up a cow's ass,
but it'll definitely take ages to make up my mind on
which colours to choose for my classic mani-pedi.
I'm that awkward gumdrop,
I'm not so sure if you'd want to spend that much effort.
...
Dear 2009, to sum it all up,
you've been a :
and 2010 will be a year
of decadent independent pampers and silent surprises,
I can barely wait,
that'll be,
my inner vow in three days to come.