Ask Cerapter: How to get to know people?
Today, working at a festival, I met the sweetest girl. She had good spirit, and we exchanged a few co-worker smiles during the shift. Later, she approached me with a warm demeanor and made good conversation. She complimented me on the voluntary work I was doing, saying there should be more people like me in the world. (Note: I was sorting waste). She was focused on me, attentive, probing, curious; but elegantly and charmingly. She made my day and she made my heart beat faster.
So what did I do?
I ditched her to go move some chairs. Then I avoided her the rest of the night, so as not to blemish her stature with my presence. I didn't give her my name, because I'd feel like a jerk. I quickly concluded that she's one of those girls who are so cute that they are able to be really nice to strangers and get away with it, and that I would be a bad person for being attracted to her, since it would make it inconvenient for her to keep being nice. And I'm glad she didn't get to know me better, because then we'd both be disappointed. I might have contributed some benefit in her life for those 30 seconds, but that is the peak of my abilities, the treshold beyond which I surely fail. If I see her again, I will greet but not speak to her, and after a few times, I will not greet, pretending I have forgotten, and we will be strangers again, and my anxiety may rest.
Yeah baby.
So what did I do?
I ditched her to go move some chairs. Then I avoided her the rest of the night, so as not to blemish her stature with my presence. I didn't give her my name, because I'd feel like a jerk. I quickly concluded that she's one of those girls who are so cute that they are able to be really nice to strangers and get away with it, and that I would be a bad person for being attracted to her, since it would make it inconvenient for her to keep being nice. And I'm glad she didn't get to know me better, because then we'd both be disappointed. I might have contributed some benefit in her life for those 30 seconds, but that is the peak of my abilities, the treshold beyond which I surely fail. If I see her again, I will greet but not speak to her, and after a few times, I will not greet, pretending I have forgotten, and we will be strangers again, and my anxiety may rest.
Yeah baby.