Huh, What?
I was going to make a grand 2009-summarizing entry, but I never got to that mood where I could really feel 2009. Perhaps that'll come later. I partially blame the game Iji for distracting me.
I do know a few words I would use to describe the year that's been: reestablishment-at least partially, of my own identity and its functions; enrichment-of my life, as I've gained new friends and inspirations; and fulfillment-of my Bachelor degree, the major part of my studies. I have finally cleared the last lap of this academic race, and I'm still more or less intact. I strongly feel the studies haven't been sustainable for my psyche, and I hope to see this completion having a strong effect on me.
In January, I vowed to do four things: listen to my heart, face my fears, take care of myself and do creative works. While I haven't checked up very often to remember these vows, I have still followed all of them. Twice I listened to my heart, and I even encouraged it to participate; I asked a girl out once, though I was eventually disappointed; I have kept up my self-respect and tried to walk a line between action and self-mercy, if more to the latter than the former; and I am now keeping a story journal, as well as an idea book where I recently scribbled some song lyrics. This, I believe, demonstrates the power of personal writing; many of the things I've vowed to do in my diaries, has gradually come to pass, because they tend to stay in the subconscious as subtle impulses and desires.
Hope has been kindled in me, hope for future good days. I have also upgraded my patience towards that future. One thing that hasn't changed, is my perpetual fear of falling asleep and losing my own identity, by forgetting what I used to think was important. I don't know if this is a bad thing, and it's not something that hinders me, so I'm keeping it.
Track of the year: Dare You to Move by Switchfoot. It's a nice response to the track I initially dedicated to this year, Guide You Home by Rebecca Kneubuhl.
I do know a few words I would use to describe the year that's been: reestablishment-at least partially, of my own identity and its functions; enrichment-of my life, as I've gained new friends and inspirations; and fulfillment-of my Bachelor degree, the major part of my studies. I have finally cleared the last lap of this academic race, and I'm still more or less intact. I strongly feel the studies haven't been sustainable for my psyche, and I hope to see this completion having a strong effect on me.
In January, I vowed to do four things: listen to my heart, face my fears, take care of myself and do creative works. While I haven't checked up very often to remember these vows, I have still followed all of them. Twice I listened to my heart, and I even encouraged it to participate; I asked a girl out once, though I was eventually disappointed; I have kept up my self-respect and tried to walk a line between action and self-mercy, if more to the latter than the former; and I am now keeping a story journal, as well as an idea book where I recently scribbled some song lyrics. This, I believe, demonstrates the power of personal writing; many of the things I've vowed to do in my diaries, has gradually come to pass, because they tend to stay in the subconscious as subtle impulses and desires.
Hope has been kindled in me, hope for future good days. I have also upgraded my patience towards that future. One thing that hasn't changed, is my perpetual fear of falling asleep and losing my own identity, by forgetting what I used to think was important. I don't know if this is a bad thing, and it's not something that hinders me, so I'm keeping it.
Track of the year: Dare You to Move by Switchfoot. It's a nice response to the track I initially dedicated to this year, Guide You Home by Rebecca Kneubuhl.