nights like this
it seems that i'm able to shake it off better but there are some nights where i still go a little out of my mind.
when i read back over my earliest entries i would say that by all accounts i was insane, literally. i was severly messed up from everything that was going on in my life and couldn't think straight long enough to make a rational decision. i don't know how i would have delt with me. while i am a stronger person now i wonder what kind of person i would have been if i had gotten everything the way i wanted it back then. i know some people who've had it easier than me in that sense and they seem to be really unhappy with their lives. i don't know anyone who's gone the route i have and come out on the other side so its kind of hard for me to look into the future positivly. i try though and one day i'll be able to tell you all what its like.
i wonder what life would be like if i knew then what i know now. i wonder what life would have been like had i not made the decisions i made.
i'm ready to get out of here. for some reason when i think about the month of april it seems like its going to take forever to get through but when i look back over the past year it seems like it was only yesterday when i moved down. the human brain is indeed an odd thing.
i don't think i've been more ready to move on. i didn't really want to graduate high school but i did, i didn't really want to leave college but i did. this is the first time when i felt like i was trying to push foreward. i guess i was lazy in the past and content with what i was but now that i've had the chance to see what just being content is i have this drive to be more. its like i want to absorb everything i can and then use it to make myself better.
there is so much out there to explore.
OH SHIT ZOMBIES! hang on i have to kill them.
ok...what was i talking about?
when i read back over my earliest entries i would say that by all accounts i was insane, literally. i was severly messed up from everything that was going on in my life and couldn't think straight long enough to make a rational decision. i don't know how i would have delt with me. while i am a stronger person now i wonder what kind of person i would have been if i had gotten everything the way i wanted it back then. i know some people who've had it easier than me in that sense and they seem to be really unhappy with their lives. i don't know anyone who's gone the route i have and come out on the other side so its kind of hard for me to look into the future positivly. i try though and one day i'll be able to tell you all what its like.
i wonder what life would be like if i knew then what i know now. i wonder what life would have been like had i not made the decisions i made.
i'm ready to get out of here. for some reason when i think about the month of april it seems like its going to take forever to get through but when i look back over the past year it seems like it was only yesterday when i moved down. the human brain is indeed an odd thing.
i don't think i've been more ready to move on. i didn't really want to graduate high school but i did, i didn't really want to leave college but i did. this is the first time when i felt like i was trying to push foreward. i guess i was lazy in the past and content with what i was but now that i've had the chance to see what just being content is i have this drive to be more. its like i want to absorb everything i can and then use it to make myself better.
there is so much out there to explore.
OH SHIT ZOMBIES! hang on i have to kill them.
ok...what was i talking about?