A story of a woman
A story of a woman, much adored.
My grandmother is currently living in a private care home, fighting a losing battle with dementia. She has always been the constant; a steady beacon guiding me along the waves and rocks that may have otherwise capsized my little raft in life.
My grandmother has had quite a life, one of my favorite things to do was listen to her tell stories about herself and my grandfather. I could almost guarantee her life would make quite the good movie. Young girl in the late 1920's & 1930's growing up in various shacks across the North West/Mid-West. A father moving the family to wherever he might find work, a homemaking mother tough as nails. Surviving a case of the Spanish Flu that almost killed her, and best of all - how she met my grandfather.
Imagine a 12 year old girl, out in a strawberry field mid-summer, picking berries for a local family's farm, just to make a few pennies for school clothes. She's chatting along with her friend as she works, when she spots the Farmer's son across the field; 18 years old, handsome and strong. She says to her friend as she points, "I'm going to marry him some day.
Two years later, the farmer's son approaches the now 14 year old girl, intent on asking her for a date. First he asks her, "How old are you?". The girl looks up from her work and replies, "I'm 14 years old, Mister". The girl looks quite mature for her age, and the Farmer's son thinks she's playing an old feminine trick, saying she's younger than she is, "You are TOO damn young to be lying about your age!" he exclaims, and walks off.
That evening the Farmer's son shows up at the girl's house, asking permission of the parents to court their daughter, and take her to a movie show.
A year later, the girl is 15 and they are engaged. Two years after that, it's 1943 and they get married and the Farmer's son goes off to Japan; WWII. For the next 3 years the young wife is alone, praying for the safety of her new husband, spending each day equally anticipating and dreading each mail delivery. What will the mail bring today? A letter from her husband, or a notice from the Armed Services, informing her of his death?
Luck holds out, and the Farmer's son returns from Japan in the later months of 1946. In April of 1947 they have their first child (my father). 2 years later they have a little girl. All is well and happy. The Farmer's son begins his new profession as a fireman, and over the years he eventually becomes the Chief.
1958 brings tragedy, the little girl, now 9 years old, passes away from a cancer that was completely treatable even in that day and age. Ironically, the little girl had been of such sound constitution that she did not show any symptoms of being ill, until it was too late and she passed 2 weeks after diagnosis.
The family, of now 3, continues on. The young boy grows into a tall and handsome, yet rebellious young man. The wife, tough as nails like her own mother, corrals him in despite being half his size. Eventually the young man has a daughter of his own, quite the adorable little thing, if you ask me.
Over the years, the young girl grows with many fond memories of summers spent with her grandparents. Absorbing all of the stories that fell in between her grandparent's life as outlined above. She enjoyed swimming, campfires, ice cream, and travels with the grandparents. Of course, nothing could be sunshine and roses all of the time. The grandfather struggled with alcohol on and off as the years went by, at times putting damper on the summer fun. But through it all the grandmother stood strong when the grandfather could not, and she time and time again pulled the grandfather back on his feet.
In 1996 tragedy visits this family again, and the son (my father) follows in his sister's previous footsteps and passes away from cancer; after a year long battle with the disease. The daughter is left in angry shambles, and denies the progression of her grief for many years to come. The grandfather never recovers from the trauma of outliving both of his children, and succumbs to alcohol once again. But the grandmother, she continues to be strong for both of her waning loves, however difficult to deal with it may have been. At the time the daughter thought her grandmother was in denial, that her faith in her God and things promised to come was awfully misguided. And yet, the grandmother still continued on.
In 2001 the grandfather succumbed to the effects of his several years of on and off again alcoholism, and passed in his sleep of a heart attack. The grandmother was now left alone, save for her granddaughter, who was at the time several hundreds of miles away.
In 2007 the grandmother's own health began to decline, in the form of what was thought to be Alzheimer's at the time. She moved in with her sister and niece, as she could no longer live alone with her short term memory deteriorating. Over the course of the next 2 years the niece took advantage of the grandmother's loss of short term memory. Unbeknownst to the granddaughter, despite weekly calls, the niece stole around $120k from the grandmother before proper channels caught on and the state took over the care of the grandmother. Charges were pressed, and justice was won.
At this time, in 2009, despite the crimes committed against her and the misfortune of becoming a ward of the state, the grandmother's good grace in life comes through once more. The state she resides in is one of the best in the country in regards to elder care and senior citizen laws. Her state guardian cares for her charges for the people they are, and the grandmother is assigned a caretaker who truly loves her charges. The caretaker at this point, who specializes in geriatric dementia, realizes the grandmother does not actually have Alzheimer's, but vascular dementia. While this too is a battle that cannot be one, it's effects are not quite as devastating as the other.
The grandmother has a near death experience in 2011 due to the ineptitude of the senior living facility she resides in at the time, but thankfully pulls through. From that point on she begins living at the private care home that her caretaker owns and runs. The care home is located within a real house and employs nurses who also care for their few charges as if their own family.
As the past few years have gone by, the grandmother has declined in her ability to connect her thoughts with speech. She has recently suffered a Transient Ischemic Attack that has further robbed her ability of speech, but there are brief windows of clarity where the woman still inside, can be seen and heard.
These brief windows are all that the granddaughter has left of her grandmother, and she clings to them fiercely. She dreads the day when that beacon of light finally dims, and she's left to navigate life's rocky shores on her own, in the dark.
My grandmother is currently living in a private care home, fighting a losing battle with dementia. She has always been the constant; a steady beacon guiding me along the waves and rocks that may have otherwise capsized my little raft in life.
My grandmother has had quite a life, one of my favorite things to do was listen to her tell stories about herself and my grandfather. I could almost guarantee her life would make quite the good movie. Young girl in the late 1920's & 1930's growing up in various shacks across the North West/Mid-West. A father moving the family to wherever he might find work, a homemaking mother tough as nails. Surviving a case of the Spanish Flu that almost killed her, and best of all - how she met my grandfather.
Imagine a 12 year old girl, out in a strawberry field mid-summer, picking berries for a local family's farm, just to make a few pennies for school clothes. She's chatting along with her friend as she works, when she spots the Farmer's son across the field; 18 years old, handsome and strong. She says to her friend as she points, "I'm going to marry him some day.
Two years later, the farmer's son approaches the now 14 year old girl, intent on asking her for a date. First he asks her, "How old are you?". The girl looks up from her work and replies, "I'm 14 years old, Mister". The girl looks quite mature for her age, and the Farmer's son thinks she's playing an old feminine trick, saying she's younger than she is, "You are TOO damn young to be lying about your age!" he exclaims, and walks off.
That evening the Farmer's son shows up at the girl's house, asking permission of the parents to court their daughter, and take her to a movie show.
A year later, the girl is 15 and they are engaged. Two years after that, it's 1943 and they get married and the Farmer's son goes off to Japan; WWII. For the next 3 years the young wife is alone, praying for the safety of her new husband, spending each day equally anticipating and dreading each mail delivery. What will the mail bring today? A letter from her husband, or a notice from the Armed Services, informing her of his death?
Luck holds out, and the Farmer's son returns from Japan in the later months of 1946. In April of 1947 they have their first child (my father). 2 years later they have a little girl. All is well and happy. The Farmer's son begins his new profession as a fireman, and over the years he eventually becomes the Chief.
1958 brings tragedy, the little girl, now 9 years old, passes away from a cancer that was completely treatable even in that day and age. Ironically, the little girl had been of such sound constitution that she did not show any symptoms of being ill, until it was too late and she passed 2 weeks after diagnosis.
The family, of now 3, continues on. The young boy grows into a tall and handsome, yet rebellious young man. The wife, tough as nails like her own mother, corrals him in despite being half his size. Eventually the young man has a daughter of his own, quite the adorable little thing, if you ask me.
Over the years, the young girl grows with many fond memories of summers spent with her grandparents. Absorbing all of the stories that fell in between her grandparent's life as outlined above. She enjoyed swimming, campfires, ice cream, and travels with the grandparents. Of course, nothing could be sunshine and roses all of the time. The grandfather struggled with alcohol on and off as the years went by, at times putting damper on the summer fun. But through it all the grandmother stood strong when the grandfather could not, and she time and time again pulled the grandfather back on his feet.
In 1996 tragedy visits this family again, and the son (my father) follows in his sister's previous footsteps and passes away from cancer; after a year long battle with the disease. The daughter is left in angry shambles, and denies the progression of her grief for many years to come. The grandfather never recovers from the trauma of outliving both of his children, and succumbs to alcohol once again. But the grandmother, she continues to be strong for both of her waning loves, however difficult to deal with it may have been. At the time the daughter thought her grandmother was in denial, that her faith in her God and things promised to come was awfully misguided. And yet, the grandmother still continued on.
In 2001 the grandfather succumbed to the effects of his several years of on and off again alcoholism, and passed in his sleep of a heart attack. The grandmother was now left alone, save for her granddaughter, who was at the time several hundreds of miles away.
In 2007 the grandmother's own health began to decline, in the form of what was thought to be Alzheimer's at the time. She moved in with her sister and niece, as she could no longer live alone with her short term memory deteriorating. Over the course of the next 2 years the niece took advantage of the grandmother's loss of short term memory. Unbeknownst to the granddaughter, despite weekly calls, the niece stole around $120k from the grandmother before proper channels caught on and the state took over the care of the grandmother. Charges were pressed, and justice was won.
At this time, in 2009, despite the crimes committed against her and the misfortune of becoming a ward of the state, the grandmother's good grace in life comes through once more. The state she resides in is one of the best in the country in regards to elder care and senior citizen laws. Her state guardian cares for her charges for the people they are, and the grandmother is assigned a caretaker who truly loves her charges. The caretaker at this point, who specializes in geriatric dementia, realizes the grandmother does not actually have Alzheimer's, but vascular dementia. While this too is a battle that cannot be one, it's effects are not quite as devastating as the other.
The grandmother has a near death experience in 2011 due to the ineptitude of the senior living facility she resides in at the time, but thankfully pulls through. From that point on she begins living at the private care home that her caretaker owns and runs. The care home is located within a real house and employs nurses who also care for their few charges as if their own family.
As the past few years have gone by, the grandmother has declined in her ability to connect her thoughts with speech. She has recently suffered a Transient Ischemic Attack that has further robbed her ability of speech, but there are brief windows of clarity where the woman still inside, can be seen and heard.
These brief windows are all that the granddaughter has left of her grandmother, and she clings to them fiercely. She dreads the day when that beacon of light finally dims, and she's left to navigate life's rocky shores on her own, in the dark.