moving on and such
Its really time that I start "doing me" I need to stop worrying about what he thinks of me and what he's telling other people about me whether it be true or false.
Ive always been told that if I know the truth, then thats all that matters. Normally I try to stick to that motto, and obviously - as with him - I slide sometimes.
So its time to get back on the wagon, take care of myself properly, and do the things I need to do. As tempting as it is to be lazy all weekend and just mope about I realized last weekend, that even if its doing things I dont want to do, I feel better.
Last weekend I needed to do laundry (as every weekend) and I needed to go to the store, so rather than procrastinate I went to the store Friday night after work and picked up the things I needed, stopped and got a bite to eat, and then went home and did my laundry. Before the ex had come into my life, it was routine that I would take care of all my shopping and household chores Friday night, no matter how late it was when I got done. I did this because then it left my saturday and sunday open with no thoughts of "oh god.. I have to do this and that" looming over my head.
It was hard to make myself do it, because all I wanted to do was go home and have dinner and vegg out in front of the TV. But I felt better for forcing myself to take care of that stuff, because then I honestly felt a lot more free throughout the weekend.
On Saturday chatted on the phone with my mom for a bit, and then I drove out to Oakley and picked up my new kitty Rex. When I came back home I tooled around the house a bit, took the trash out, did the dishes, and even made my bed. By the time all was said and done it was evening time so THEN I did my lazing about.
Sunday I decided to vacuum, and after which I remembered what the salesman told me last month when I bought the new vacuum, so I turned it over and cut my hair off of the brush wheel.. but SOMEHOW cutting the hair off made it get stuck, so Ill have to take it in for repair this coming Saturday. That kinda dampered my mood a bit, but not much.. However the new kitty peeeeeed on my bed. I snatched him up and rushed him out to the living room to the litter box and he peed all along the way unfortunately... Since then, however he's been using the box so I hope it was a one time accident because its a new place and he was scared to leave the bedroom where I was.
The downside to all of this is that cat pee is one of the strongest most invincible odors in this world. I could not get the smell out of my bed to save my life.. So I went and bought a new bed. I was about 15 minutes too late for same day delivery, but luckily there was a very nice sales associate who offered to take their own truck to oakland to the warehouse, then deliver and assemble my bed for me so that I didnt have to sleep even one night on a pee'd on bed.
Unfortunately, my apartment still holds the aroma of Rex's pee, and Im sure its because he was peeing as I rushed him to the litter box, however I cannot see on the carpet where the pee landed. SO.. I scheduled for a carpet cleaning service to come on Saturday and deep clean my carpets for me. Thats another expenditure to add to the $600 I spent on Sunday for my bed.
At first I was really upset about the bed because even though I needed a new one anyway, I had to put the bed on my credit card that I just paid off. And technically the card isnt paid off.. I got myself in a bit of trouble to the tune of $8000 with 3 credit cards. Not trouble as in I couldnt pay the bills for each of them on time every month, but just.. wow I got a lil crazy huh? So I had taken a personal loan out in October, paid off all three cards, closed 2 of them, and am now paying one lump payment each month to the credit union where I took my loan out at. So anyhow, having this $600 charge on my credit card pretty much nullifies the payments Ive made the last 4 months to my personal loan...
BUT, I realized that next month I get paid 3 times from my full time job, and I will also be getting my tax return because I do it online with direct deposit. So next month I should hopefully have a combined sum of maybe $1600 in extra cash - so I can pay off the credit card I just used, put the rest in my savings account, and be right on track with my saving goals as well!
As far as the carpet shampooing goes, I was honestly planning to do it this coming weekend anyway... However with an aroma problem, and my annoyance with my carpet looking trashed 1 month after I shampoo it myself, I decided a professional industrial strength deep cleaning would be the way to go!
And for $89 to do my whole apartment, if they do a good job, I just may never shampoo my carpets myself again! Why go through the hassle when I can pay someone to do the work for me? Especially because by the time you add up the machine rental, carpet shampoo, scotchguard, gas to pick up and drop off the machine, and my own time, it probably exceeds the $89 anyway!
So.. Saturday really isnt a fun day planned, BUT Im glad that Im motivating myself to take care of business and get things done, and I know Ill be happy to see bright clean odorless carpets!
So on Saturday Ill probably get up at about 9am, Ive got to take my vacuum in for repair, then Ive got to drive out to Tracy to be there at 11am for my FIRST (and free) oil change for the new car. Then Ive got to drive back home, go to the bank to get the money for the cleaners, then haul my furniture and bits and pieces out on the balcony, into the kitchen, and onto my bed so that when the cleaners get there Ive got everything all squared away... Oh which reminds me Ill have to contain my two animals..
At any rate.. after the carpets dry (which unfortunately takes a rather long time when its professionally done) I plan on scotchguarding the HELL out of my carpets to try and save the cleanliness for longer than a month.
On sunday Miss Unks is supposed to come out and hang out with me, and maybe we'll go to a movie or something.. Im excited, yaaaaaayyyy :D
So, with such a busy weekend, obviously Friday Ill do the shopping/laundry thing again lol
I know this is a boring blog, but I really am feeling good right now.. and If you had been inside my head for the past month.. I think youd have a bit more understanding about why Im so excited about such mundane goings on.
It has a lot to do with me getting into the whole "taking out the trash" sort of symbolism... When I broke up with my last ex (not the recent one) I cleaned my whole apartment from ceiling to floor, and I threw away all the stuff he left, and I felt so much better for it. Though with that particular man I wsnt really sad about the breakup, I was relieved.
This breakup was different, while relieved to be out of the stress and fear that I was put in, I was also very sad to lose all of the good that came with it... And I guess maybe this past month has been my period of mouring, who knows.. Either way Im ready to move on, and do ME. There are a lot of things that I want to do, but Im starting with baby steps and doing the things I HAVE to do first, because Ive been putting those offf as well, obviously.
wow ok so Im home now and today must be my lucky day! the apartment managers left the laundry key on my door that Ive been begging for... for the past month, and they said to call and set dates for the things I need fixed that Ive been begging to have fixed since April - July
And you know, even though I had to get up extra early today, (3am) Im not feeling dragged down and tired... I dont know even though nothing extrordinary happened today, it was just a good day pretty much. and... shoot I just lost my train of thought.. oh well, this post is too long anyway and its bound to bug people, Ill write more later, or some other time lol
Ive always been told that if I know the truth, then thats all that matters. Normally I try to stick to that motto, and obviously - as with him - I slide sometimes.
So its time to get back on the wagon, take care of myself properly, and do the things I need to do. As tempting as it is to be lazy all weekend and just mope about I realized last weekend, that even if its doing things I dont want to do, I feel better.
Last weekend I needed to do laundry (as every weekend) and I needed to go to the store, so rather than procrastinate I went to the store Friday night after work and picked up the things I needed, stopped and got a bite to eat, and then went home and did my laundry. Before the ex had come into my life, it was routine that I would take care of all my shopping and household chores Friday night, no matter how late it was when I got done. I did this because then it left my saturday and sunday open with no thoughts of "oh god.. I have to do this and that" looming over my head.
It was hard to make myself do it, because all I wanted to do was go home and have dinner and vegg out in front of the TV. But I felt better for forcing myself to take care of that stuff, because then I honestly felt a lot more free throughout the weekend.
On Saturday chatted on the phone with my mom for a bit, and then I drove out to Oakley and picked up my new kitty Rex. When I came back home I tooled around the house a bit, took the trash out, did the dishes, and even made my bed. By the time all was said and done it was evening time so THEN I did my lazing about.
Sunday I decided to vacuum, and after which I remembered what the salesman told me last month when I bought the new vacuum, so I turned it over and cut my hair off of the brush wheel.. but SOMEHOW cutting the hair off made it get stuck, so Ill have to take it in for repair this coming Saturday. That kinda dampered my mood a bit, but not much.. However the new kitty peeeeeed on my bed. I snatched him up and rushed him out to the living room to the litter box and he peed all along the way unfortunately... Since then, however he's been using the box so I hope it was a one time accident because its a new place and he was scared to leave the bedroom where I was.
The downside to all of this is that cat pee is one of the strongest most invincible odors in this world. I could not get the smell out of my bed to save my life.. So I went and bought a new bed. I was about 15 minutes too late for same day delivery, but luckily there was a very nice sales associate who offered to take their own truck to oakland to the warehouse, then deliver and assemble my bed for me so that I didnt have to sleep even one night on a pee'd on bed.
Unfortunately, my apartment still holds the aroma of Rex's pee, and Im sure its because he was peeing as I rushed him to the litter box, however I cannot see on the carpet where the pee landed. SO.. I scheduled for a carpet cleaning service to come on Saturday and deep clean my carpets for me. Thats another expenditure to add to the $600 I spent on Sunday for my bed.
At first I was really upset about the bed because even though I needed a new one anyway, I had to put the bed on my credit card that I just paid off. And technically the card isnt paid off.. I got myself in a bit of trouble to the tune of $8000 with 3 credit cards. Not trouble as in I couldnt pay the bills for each of them on time every month, but just.. wow I got a lil crazy huh? So I had taken a personal loan out in October, paid off all three cards, closed 2 of them, and am now paying one lump payment each month to the credit union where I took my loan out at. So anyhow, having this $600 charge on my credit card pretty much nullifies the payments Ive made the last 4 months to my personal loan...
BUT, I realized that next month I get paid 3 times from my full time job, and I will also be getting my tax return because I do it online with direct deposit. So next month I should hopefully have a combined sum of maybe $1600 in extra cash - so I can pay off the credit card I just used, put the rest in my savings account, and be right on track with my saving goals as well!
As far as the carpet shampooing goes, I was honestly planning to do it this coming weekend anyway... However with an aroma problem, and my annoyance with my carpet looking trashed 1 month after I shampoo it myself, I decided a professional industrial strength deep cleaning would be the way to go!
And for $89 to do my whole apartment, if they do a good job, I just may never shampoo my carpets myself again! Why go through the hassle when I can pay someone to do the work for me? Especially because by the time you add up the machine rental, carpet shampoo, scotchguard, gas to pick up and drop off the machine, and my own time, it probably exceeds the $89 anyway!
So.. Saturday really isnt a fun day planned, BUT Im glad that Im motivating myself to take care of business and get things done, and I know Ill be happy to see bright clean odorless carpets!
So on Saturday Ill probably get up at about 9am, Ive got to take my vacuum in for repair, then Ive got to drive out to Tracy to be there at 11am for my FIRST (and free) oil change for the new car. Then Ive got to drive back home, go to the bank to get the money for the cleaners, then haul my furniture and bits and pieces out on the balcony, into the kitchen, and onto my bed so that when the cleaners get there Ive got everything all squared away... Oh which reminds me Ill have to contain my two animals..
At any rate.. after the carpets dry (which unfortunately takes a rather long time when its professionally done) I plan on scotchguarding the HELL out of my carpets to try and save the cleanliness for longer than a month.
On sunday Miss Unks is supposed to come out and hang out with me, and maybe we'll go to a movie or something.. Im excited, yaaaaaayyyy :D
So, with such a busy weekend, obviously Friday Ill do the shopping/laundry thing again lol
I know this is a boring blog, but I really am feeling good right now.. and If you had been inside my head for the past month.. I think youd have a bit more understanding about why Im so excited about such mundane goings on.
It has a lot to do with me getting into the whole "taking out the trash" sort of symbolism... When I broke up with my last ex (not the recent one) I cleaned my whole apartment from ceiling to floor, and I threw away all the stuff he left, and I felt so much better for it. Though with that particular man I wsnt really sad about the breakup, I was relieved.
This breakup was different, while relieved to be out of the stress and fear that I was put in, I was also very sad to lose all of the good that came with it... And I guess maybe this past month has been my period of mouring, who knows.. Either way Im ready to move on, and do ME. There are a lot of things that I want to do, but Im starting with baby steps and doing the things I HAVE to do first, because Ive been putting those offf as well, obviously.
wow ok so Im home now and today must be my lucky day! the apartment managers left the laundry key on my door that Ive been begging for... for the past month, and they said to call and set dates for the things I need fixed that Ive been begging to have fixed since April - July
And you know, even though I had to get up extra early today, (3am) Im not feeling dragged down and tired... I dont know even though nothing extrordinary happened today, it was just a good day pretty much. and... shoot I just lost my train of thought.. oh well, this post is too long anyway and its bound to bug people, Ill write more later, or some other time lol