Fucking Dramas
For those of you who read my LJ post about 'my perfect man' some of you seem to think that I was trying to put past boyfriends down, and that wasn't the case.
For the record, if I am going to bag anyone out, which to my knowledge I haven't done, then I will make it a post that they can't see, or only a few people can. I don't see myself as a cruel person, and I would never intentionally write something that would hurt someone else.
But what people have to remember is this is my journal, no one elses. I will learn from my mistakes though. From here on in, my journal will be friends only, and I will be improving my filters, which is something I never wanted to do. I have people who don't have LJ that read this, people who live in places that I used to live, but yeah....to much drama's, too much conflict, and too many strong people on my friend's list.
If anyone thought that I was trying to put Stoffi down in that post, I am sorry you feel that way. But what you have to realise is that I am trying to move forward. This has been the hardest 6 months of my whole entire life, and I still cry myself to sleep, and I still wonder what what went wrong, and I still wonder what I could of done differently. Fuck, I never wanted to mention him by name (and if you're reading this I'm really sorry) but I don't think I have a choice.
But what I do realise is that it's over, and I have to move on. All of those things are something that I've had in a past boyfriend, and something I loved, and made me happy. When I was at work, I was thinking about moving forward, and took pieces of all my past relationships, and picked out the good bits.
So if you did think that my post was in bad taste, here is where you let me know. And I want honesty here, it's the only way I'm gonna learn. Call me a bitch, call me all the names under the sun, because frankly, I'm sick of people talking about me behind my back.
And this is where I think for the millionth time the only thing that is keeping me going in this town is a handful of loyal friends, and the fact that in 2 years when I've completed my course I will have opportunities to move if I want too.
Comment below. Tell me what you really think of that post, and of me. Because I feel like I'm forever getting stabbed in the back, and people are talking behind my back about what I'm doing wrong and not telling me to my face, for one reason or another. I will take all comments seriously. All comments are screened, let me know if you don't want me to unscreen them.
Edit: I even feel like this is going to be taken the wrong way. I don't want people to take sides, I want people to comment on me. Fuck, can I do anything right?
Well I guess that's another weekend that's been ruined. Better luck next weekend Nay. Soon you'll get it right. If you don't drop dead first.
For the record, if I am going to bag anyone out, which to my knowledge I haven't done, then I will make it a post that they can't see, or only a few people can. I don't see myself as a cruel person, and I would never intentionally write something that would hurt someone else.
But what people have to remember is this is my journal, no one elses. I will learn from my mistakes though. From here on in, my journal will be friends only, and I will be improving my filters, which is something I never wanted to do. I have people who don't have LJ that read this, people who live in places that I used to live, but yeah....to much drama's, too much conflict, and too many strong people on my friend's list.
If anyone thought that I was trying to put Stoffi down in that post, I am sorry you feel that way. But what you have to realise is that I am trying to move forward. This has been the hardest 6 months of my whole entire life, and I still cry myself to sleep, and I still wonder what what went wrong, and I still wonder what I could of done differently. Fuck, I never wanted to mention him by name (and if you're reading this I'm really sorry) but I don't think I have a choice.
But what I do realise is that it's over, and I have to move on. All of those things are something that I've had in a past boyfriend, and something I loved, and made me happy. When I was at work, I was thinking about moving forward, and took pieces of all my past relationships, and picked out the good bits.
So if you did think that my post was in bad taste, here is where you let me know. And I want honesty here, it's the only way I'm gonna learn. Call me a bitch, call me all the names under the sun, because frankly, I'm sick of people talking about me behind my back.
And this is where I think for the millionth time the only thing that is keeping me going in this town is a handful of loyal friends, and the fact that in 2 years when I've completed my course I will have opportunities to move if I want too.
Comment below. Tell me what you really think of that post, and of me. Because I feel like I'm forever getting stabbed in the back, and people are talking behind my back about what I'm doing wrong and not telling me to my face, for one reason or another. I will take all comments seriously. All comments are screened, let me know if you don't want me to unscreen them.
Edit: I even feel like this is going to be taken the wrong way. I don't want people to take sides, I want people to comment on me. Fuck, can I do anything right?
Well I guess that's another weekend that's been ruined. Better luck next weekend Nay. Soon you'll get it right. If you don't drop dead first.