The recipe for messin' with me

[nayad]

It's probably not the best idea I've ever had, to post the One True Way to put me into obsessive mental spinning about things I don't understand, but I guess I like to live on the edge. Are you ready? Here it is. To completely mess my mind up:

Disappear from my life very gradually, with no explanation, acting all the while as if you're not really

Comments

[cosmicbabe]

That sucks! But try to remind yourself that you're too pretty for this shit, and be glad you don't have to deal with any drama or headgames as a result of their absence. *hugs!*

[nayad]

Well, thanks! I think I need to design my very own "I'm too pretty for this shit" icon. *g*

[brdgt]

That's awful, I'm sorry! It's so hard to not take it personally, but I'm willing to bet this is has everything to do with her and nothing to do with you - sad consolation for a friendship ending, I know :(

[nayad]

Thanks... It's weird to be completely certain that it's ended without knowing what happened, but I'm not going to pursue trying to figure it out. In the last few years I've met some seriously fabulous new people, craft group included, and I would rather put my energy into spending time with them than trying to figure out stuff that happened in her head five years ago.

[webfarmer]

One thought is that people are weird. I've never understood some of the folks I've had relationships of one sort or the other over the years. I put it down as just their nature and let it go. Adjusting my own connection with them appropriately.

Unsurprisingly, some of the arty ones are some of the weirder ones. Again with the nature of the beast thing.

Still it sucks. Good thoughts from Huskerland.

[nayad]

It's true, some people are simply weird, and that is that.

[ex_maehymn]

That's a fantastic icon.

This has also happened to me and it really sucks. I feel for you. Closure is trickier to obtain in those kind of WTF situations.

[nayad]

Thank you, both for understanding and for giving me some icon love. ;)

(We should really go on a beverage-hunting expedition one of these days, and invite sweetpea0304 and skoolgrrl, both lovely and fabulous.)

[ex_maehymn]

Word! That sounds bueno. Is sweetpea0304 = Elizabeth?

[nayad]

Yep! Sweetpea is Elizabeth. Her user info page is hilarious, due to having been composed after a few hours of three tiny women drinking an entire bottle of tequila. I think, in retrospect, that *half* of the bottle would have been plenty... *g*

[markbourne]

That's a crappy situation, yes. Instead of passively letting it make you nuts, take assertive (not aggressive, not confrontational) action.

Contact Niko and simply, say, ask her out to lunch. No need to mention her withdrawal or your valid WTFitude about it. Just old acquaintances catching up.

That puts the ball in her court: if she accepts and you two get together, her withdrawal will come up in the natural course of conversation; she'll probably initiate it. If she says a flat no, you have the high ground to ask "Why not?" If she doesn't respond at all, you still have the high ground to accept that you gave her a good-faith offer that she refused, and you move on and forward to other and newer friends, etc.

[markbourne]

And yeah, like you I HAAAAAATE "drama." Have had enough of it to know when to act, do nothing, or walk away. (Poly can really hone drama-avoidance skills, can't it?)

[nayad]

You want me to be MATURE?!!! What kind of wholesome, mentally healthy granola-encrusted hippie psychobabble is THAT?!!!

;)

(Thinking about it...)

[markbourne]

;{) Hey, you've visited the Northwest. It's in the water here. You're not allowed to reside in Seattle until you get a Hug License at the DMV.