scared
UGH! i hate my life! in a way i wish i was dead! but in another way i wish i wasnt cuz then i wouldnt be able to see or talk to the ppl WHO REALLY care about me! and to name a few..lets see...MY MOM,CHRIS k,MALISSA,MIKEY,JESS,CHRIS F,JIMMY,VALARIE,MIKE,JEAN,AND SCOTT FOR THE MOST,...i jjust dont understand why the fuck ppl have to be so fucking hateful towards me...as i can recall..I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE TO SO MANY FUCKING PPL but they seem to think they can just fuckin walk all over me and take me for granted! GOD!! i fuckin cant take it anymore..its drivin me to INSANITY! im on the brink of just moving away and not tellin anywhere wheree the FUCK I AM! that is except for the ppl who TRULY care! everyone else who pretends to be my friends...I CANT BELIEVE U WOULD FUCKING DO THIS TO ME! i never did anything WRONG! Rebecca is sayin she wants to beat my ass cuz of a rumor she hurd...I HAVNT FUCKING TALKED TO HER TIFFANY SAMANTHA OR ANY OF THEIR FRIENDS FOR ALMOST A WEEK! i have been hangin out with my friend malissa cuz she moved back ...and i never really have time to talk on the phone anymore..cuz scotts always callin me...so i just dont get it! will needs to keep my name out of his mouth if he doesnt know anything about wats going on..He said that my name was the 1st one to pop outta his head..IF I SAID ANYTHING DONTCHA FUCKIN THINK SAMANTHA WOULD KNOW.THE ONLY FUCKIN TIME I EVER SEE JAMES OR "SAW" him was when i was with HER! i just dont get it...i was talking to scott last night..and i was telling him h0w much i cant take this shit anym0re and i t0ld him i wish i was DEAD! and he started to cry! he felt so bad for me cuz he knows im a good person. i never did anything wrong to ANYONE! ill never GET IT! he told me he loved me again last night and he cant stop thinkin about me and he wishes i wouldnt talk like that ...but its soo hard not to im scared..im scared to live my life...im scared to go outside of my house in fear that ill either DIE..or get the shit beat out of me by someone FOR NO REASON! .....im afraid..I have cut most of my friendships off with ppl..cuz of the fact that im going thru SO MUCH right now and i cant handle the stress and all the drama! ...my grandpas in the hospital..me and scott cry everynight to eachother on the phone...everything is just piled up..on top of everything i got all these ppl sayin they wanna beat my ass..but they wont tell me why! I havent talked to ANYONE! but scott ON THE PHONE! but im not gonna take it anymore..thats the end of it..im keepin to myself from now on..im shuttin many ppl outta my life..cuz of the simple fact im too scared to face reality right now! so...please if u are one of those ppl...LEAVE ME ALONE! i cant take this bullshit anymore!!!!! im out..peanut