Thoughts and scribbles in the afternoon
At the library,finally
but it was not expected .. I wasn't allowed to enter for being late, I overslept on my break time cause I didn't sleep the night before it out of insomnia; rushed to uni but got kicked out at 2:30 from stat class
I'd love to listen to YUI at the moment, but something inside of me wont budge -
in all this hardness, I remembered uruha's "my pace" and it is so fitting.
no internet connection on my phone, I'm sitting in front of the window and drinking mango juice that I got from a near by cafe, it has real pieces of mango in it! surprisingly thick..
Got some mechanical pencils and some cute pens and this small memo from the boys copy center,wonder why only the boys center have such cute things, my uni secretly supporting yaoi ? *chuckles*
without hardness I don't think the people I look up to would've grown to be as they are.
the way everything is against me after a while of depression to that fact ; it's telling me that I'm going through this as a price of what I want to become .. " a great person "
so far , little by little I am changing, I believe I have a lot to learn by experience
not being like the majority of people around me, I have my own look at things which makes me feel like a outsider or that " I don't belong" in an indirect way ; that I just realized.
collage allowed me to realize who I am among a crowd.
the wondering girl who's looking far away from the camp fire where all the attention is at and gazing up at the stars ; ten steps away from the crowd.
because of that,I came to understand that I will become something different than everyone, therefor, I will have to face my struggles based on my individuality.
I realized that no one will understand my situation or me fully, so I took a step back from explaining myself, because I found blame from the majority when I did and all I said sounded like excuses - but I was sincere.
that no longer mattered when I stopped explaining myself .
this is my journey, I am going to fall,stumble and rise up again by my own experiences , no ones opinion is needed
I have zero interest in what people think, even the closest , because I am living my way, that's the most important ; to define which voice you're going to listen to, the crowd or your heart .
wed,2 nov,2011
4:02PM , uni library, KU.