Changes
Tonights drunkenness will not quench tomorrow's thirst. An ancient Egyptian proverb I should have paid attention to.
Ok, so I am starting to grow up in many aspects. After much contemplation I decided maybe I should prolong grad school one year and just work at Centcom or DC for the one year for valuable experience advising. I need to work on my GRE scores for Georgetown and George Washington this I know. I am still going to apply to Florida State as I know I can get in and the grad degree in International relations really appeals to me. I found out my dead sea scrolls class actually is more directed to the Tree of life - a class focusing on the proverbial part of ancient religion placing emphasis on proverbs of the dead sea scrolls as well as other ancient religions. It's a seminar so I should learn much and hopefully expand myself more internally. I am at this super strange cross road in my life - I am just sitting back and seeing which way the wind blows me. I don't know where I will be in six months - a year - 5 years - nothing is or will be definate in my life again. I know I will have money and I will be successful - this is the only definate thing I know. My outlook on women has changed dramatically - I used to think as long as there was a strong attraction mentally and physically at first intimacy was acceptable. That is no longer the case. I will not do another one night stand again, regardless of assurances from the other party that that is not what they want or intend. I have always made wrong decisions by becoming intimate quickly - every time. If the woman is respectable she sees me as an asshole, lacking substance, and slimy, and if she lacks substance or is freaky - I'm her girl. This is not what I am about. I know I am not for everybody - or for 99 percent of the lesbian population for that matter. Women have a tendency to think they want something until they have it - and then realize it's not all they truly wanted. I am passionate in everything I do - and I half ass nothing. Life is too short to half ass things. I look younger than I am, I have experience and intellect far surpassing most women regardless of age, and I am still kiddish and laid back in nature. I can't be with someone that is not like me - I know it does not work. I enjoy life in all of its facets... is that so bad?
Ok, so I am starting to grow up in many aspects. After much contemplation I decided maybe I should prolong grad school one year and just work at Centcom or DC for the one year for valuable experience advising. I need to work on my GRE scores for Georgetown and George Washington this I know. I am still going to apply to Florida State as I know I can get in and the grad degree in International relations really appeals to me. I found out my dead sea scrolls class actually is more directed to the Tree of life - a class focusing on the proverbial part of ancient religion placing emphasis on proverbs of the dead sea scrolls as well as other ancient religions. It's a seminar so I should learn much and hopefully expand myself more internally. I am at this super strange cross road in my life - I am just sitting back and seeing which way the wind blows me. I don't know where I will be in six months - a year - 5 years - nothing is or will be definate in my life again. I know I will have money and I will be successful - this is the only definate thing I know. My outlook on women has changed dramatically - I used to think as long as there was a strong attraction mentally and physically at first intimacy was acceptable. That is no longer the case. I will not do another one night stand again, regardless of assurances from the other party that that is not what they want or intend. I have always made wrong decisions by becoming intimate quickly - every time. If the woman is respectable she sees me as an asshole, lacking substance, and slimy, and if she lacks substance or is freaky - I'm her girl. This is not what I am about. I know I am not for everybody - or for 99 percent of the lesbian population for that matter. Women have a tendency to think they want something until they have it - and then realize it's not all they truly wanted. I am passionate in everything I do - and I half ass nothing. Life is too short to half ass things. I look younger than I am, I have experience and intellect far surpassing most women regardless of age, and I am still kiddish and laid back in nature. I can't be with someone that is not like me - I know it does not work. I enjoy life in all of its facets... is that so bad?