Update?
It's been a while since I've updated this mofo, so thought I'd do a little today while I'm at lunch at work.
Guess I've been avoiding journaling because I'm not really excited or thrilled to be facing reality. While I'm temporarily employed at a homeless shelter (Portland Rescue Mission admin offices), the truth is that my life isn't anything to be so thrilled with.
I'm trying my best to be happy, but I'm not really.
I'm tired of struggling to make ends meet. I'm tired of jobs being just temporary. I'm tired of everyone else finding love and acceptance.
I just keep asking when is it my turn?
There are times that I feel she who shall not be named (but those who have kept up with my journal know EXACTLY who I'm *not* talking about here) is right. She stated in one of her final emails to me that I would really ever be nothing, taking advantage and living off of others. I hate that. I hate that I have become nothing more than a societal leech, living off of unemployment and food stamps the rest of my life.
No wonder I enjoy sleeping so much. I get to imagine I'm anyone and anything.
So, that is my life right now. Or at least as much as I'm willing to share on lunch. ;) Maybe when I get home or sometime this weekend I'll expand a little more, but there ya go.
Now, where did I put my happy face?
Guess I've been avoiding journaling because I'm not really excited or thrilled to be facing reality. While I'm temporarily employed at a homeless shelter (Portland Rescue Mission admin offices), the truth is that my life isn't anything to be so thrilled with.
I'm trying my best to be happy, but I'm not really.
I'm tired of struggling to make ends meet. I'm tired of jobs being just temporary. I'm tired of everyone else finding love and acceptance.
I just keep asking when is it my turn?
There are times that I feel she who shall not be named (but those who have kept up with my journal know EXACTLY who I'm *not* talking about here) is right. She stated in one of her final emails to me that I would really ever be nothing, taking advantage and living off of others. I hate that. I hate that I have become nothing more than a societal leech, living off of unemployment and food stamps the rest of my life.
No wonder I enjoy sleeping so much. I get to imagine I'm anyone and anything.
So, that is my life right now. Or at least as much as I'm willing to share on lunch. ;) Maybe when I get home or sometime this weekend I'll expand a little more, but there ya go.
Now, where did I put my happy face?