All the right friends in all the right places...
So All The Right Moves by OneRepublic has suddenly become popular like Fireflies did along with Vanilla Twilight, and I'm starting to wonder what other artists I listen to are going to get mega attention. It's kind of weird. Every time I hear the song on the radio, I have to make myself turn it off so it doesn't lose its flair. Songs create images in my head and when the world starts moving in on that image... I get territorial. xD
Lately, I've been so stressed. I have a midterm tomorrow which I should be studying for at this very moment, along with a meeting, hopefully job training... Which, by the way, is getting really frustrating. I went for training on Tuesday and no one showed up for like the two hours I was there. I don't work for all that long, really, and I don't get paid all that much,
11:11!! -wish-
but I'd still like to know what the heck it is I'm supposed to be doing! D: Also I'm suppose to be handing in my artwork for the show on the 12th, but I'm going to take my friend's advice and just bring it with me the day of.
People haven't sent me any kind of statement for the program, either, and this is getting down to the wire. Man. I need info and I need it now before those go to print on Monday!
And while this is happening, today my professor handed me back my bibliography along with like nine other people in my class and said we had to fix it. She's just... so unnecessarily rude sometimes. Very short-tempered, and yet I can't even describe how she is. Long reprimands are often given in place of short "you need to do this" statements. We fear her, and at the same time, there's an awkward feeling of tense apathy.
Does that make any sense at all?
Oh, so parking has become the classic situation that it should be for most people who go to Buffalo State. I was almost ten minutes late to my class this morning (but made up for it by being insightful). I circled the lot like a vulture riding the thermals, and learned to creep around corners. Because, as I'm finding, other people are also desperately looking for a space, and so are not desperately looking for my car so they can NOT HIT IT.
But I'm sympathetic because we're all stressing as the digital clock ticks and the radio plays us bad 80's music in some strange attempt to simultaneously soothe and energize us for the day. I appreciated it when I heard Shakira's Wherever, Whenever as I rode to campus the other morning, and I really wish I had 99 cents on my iTunes to get that.
I know, I could just download it... but I like to think that my money is supporting the artist and not getting sucked into the giant mass that is Apple's fortune.
I should be focusing on important things... but I'm just going to sit here and type.
Actually, I just read an older entry... one from two years ago. Dude, I was writing about college orientation... and bands I like becoming popular. Nothing has really changed, and yet so, so much has.
I keep reading and see one on Gary and the Kingdom Hearts Guild we had. We don't really talk any more... he doesn't come on as much and when we do talk, things are still friendly, but I keep feeling that I'm beyond him. Not above, mind you. Just further along on some level.
And now I reach further back into the past and find... let's see here...
"But of course, just being together at Denny's and laughing together is always the best part. Mike, making stupid comments as I order my food, everyone eating the limes in our drinks together, and having sword fights with the small swords that came in said limes... it's all part of the experience.
Then I offhandedly suggested we go to Wegmans, just because. So we did, and while I'm marveling at the prospect of buying things that could help people in South Africa, they're having oven mitt wars and fighting with utensils. Now, although I do possess the ability to be daring, I'm not one to be thrown out of Wegmans. Phil did buy some sort of juice there, so it wasn't completely pointless."
I just laughed so much to myself... omigosh... I can even see Lizzie keeled over on the floor of Wegmans in laughter. Man, I miss those days.
Going further back in time...
My last day as a senior. Wow... high school seems so far away, and yet I don't really miss it too badly. I like my freedom too much now that I have my own car, my own schedule that I set. Everything is my choice and at the same time my fault.
And now prom!? Wow... I still have that dress, too. And last art show...
I talk a lot about knowing how people will grow apart and college, the freedom, and I was right. I was totally right. I don't know if that sucks or not.
Holy memory lane, Batman.
My eyelids are drooping and yet my mind feels so... clear. Like, this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now. Reflecting on my past, reading what I wrote and reliving those moments when working on some lame quilt project was my biggest worry. I sit here and wonder, how have I changed from then?
Well I know I've become a lot more aggressive. I keep telling myself that I'm still that non-judgmental person people go to for venting and whatnot. But... things have changed. God, I keep saying that to myself. Things have changed. Nothing's like before.
I wish I could go back to being that quiet freshman with the soft heart being tempered and shaped by the world. They always say "heart of gold," but gold is such a soft metal. Right now, I have moments where I feel strong. I can go out in the world and make a decision. If I want to go to the grocery store, I can. I get in the car, and I set out on my quest.
But I find now that I gravitate more towards the company of guys than girls, that I like being a strong person and yet at the same time I'm so, so weak. I hate the idea of chasing people down and asking for help. I would rather skip a class all together than be late for it. I'm lazy, and sometimes I feel like the world is closing in when really it's just leaning a bit. Yes, I've been dealing with a lot lately and I have shoved my angst on some people who didn't deserve it (apologizing later for it), but jeez. It's not like I'm in Africa or the Middle East right now, dealing with war and genocide. I'm living in America, for crying out loud, in a house that someone might consider as good as a palace because it has heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer, running, clean water and a fridge filled with food.
I keep telling myself that these things are troublesome and worrying, but all in all, I've got it made in the shade.
And I spend so much time in the shade that in the sun I friggin' glow. Seriously, I need sunshine before I become transparent.
Well, it's almost one in the morning and I should get to sleep so I can leave at eight in the morning to find a parking space. Weird to think that seven hours from now, that's what I'll be doing because it will be a brand new day.
They say that with each new day, you're a new person. But... really, I don't think you are. Maybe it's a new opportunity to change, but nothing can really be undone or ignored.
So let's just say tomorrow's a new day, and I'm also going to say that it'll be totally awesome.
Lately, I've been so stressed. I have a midterm tomorrow which I should be studying for at this very moment, along with a meeting, hopefully job training... Which, by the way, is getting really frustrating. I went for training on Tuesday and no one showed up for like the two hours I was there. I don't work for all that long, really, and I don't get paid all that much,
11:11!! -wish-
but I'd still like to know what the heck it is I'm supposed to be doing! D: Also I'm suppose to be handing in my artwork for the show on the 12th, but I'm going to take my friend's advice and just bring it with me the day of.
People haven't sent me any kind of statement for the program, either, and this is getting down to the wire. Man. I need info and I need it now before those go to print on Monday!
And while this is happening, today my professor handed me back my bibliography along with like nine other people in my class and said we had to fix it. She's just... so unnecessarily rude sometimes. Very short-tempered, and yet I can't even describe how she is. Long reprimands are often given in place of short "you need to do this" statements. We fear her, and at the same time, there's an awkward feeling of tense apathy.
Does that make any sense at all?
Oh, so parking has become the classic situation that it should be for most people who go to Buffalo State. I was almost ten minutes late to my class this morning (but made up for it by being insightful). I circled the lot like a vulture riding the thermals, and learned to creep around corners. Because, as I'm finding, other people are also desperately looking for a space, and so are not desperately looking for my car so they can NOT HIT IT.
But I'm sympathetic because we're all stressing as the digital clock ticks and the radio plays us bad 80's music in some strange attempt to simultaneously soothe and energize us for the day. I appreciated it when I heard Shakira's Wherever, Whenever as I rode to campus the other morning, and I really wish I had 99 cents on my iTunes to get that.
I know, I could just download it... but I like to think that my money is supporting the artist and not getting sucked into the giant mass that is Apple's fortune.
I should be focusing on important things... but I'm just going to sit here and type.
Actually, I just read an older entry... one from two years ago. Dude, I was writing about college orientation... and bands I like becoming popular. Nothing has really changed, and yet so, so much has.
I keep reading and see one on Gary and the Kingdom Hearts Guild we had. We don't really talk any more... he doesn't come on as much and when we do talk, things are still friendly, but I keep feeling that I'm beyond him. Not above, mind you. Just further along on some level.
And now I reach further back into the past and find... let's see here...
"But of course, just being together at Denny's and laughing together is always the best part. Mike, making stupid comments as I order my food, everyone eating the limes in our drinks together, and having sword fights with the small swords that came in said limes... it's all part of the experience.
Then I offhandedly suggested we go to Wegmans, just because. So we did, and while I'm marveling at the prospect of buying things that could help people in South Africa, they're having oven mitt wars and fighting with utensils. Now, although I do possess the ability to be daring, I'm not one to be thrown out of Wegmans. Phil did buy some sort of juice there, so it wasn't completely pointless."
I just laughed so much to myself... omigosh... I can even see Lizzie keeled over on the floor of Wegmans in laughter. Man, I miss those days.
Going further back in time...
My last day as a senior. Wow... high school seems so far away, and yet I don't really miss it too badly. I like my freedom too much now that I have my own car, my own schedule that I set. Everything is my choice and at the same time my fault.
And now prom!? Wow... I still have that dress, too. And last art show...
I talk a lot about knowing how people will grow apart and college, the freedom, and I was right. I was totally right. I don't know if that sucks or not.
Holy memory lane, Batman.
My eyelids are drooping and yet my mind feels so... clear. Like, this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now. Reflecting on my past, reading what I wrote and reliving those moments when working on some lame quilt project was my biggest worry. I sit here and wonder, how have I changed from then?
Well I know I've become a lot more aggressive. I keep telling myself that I'm still that non-judgmental person people go to for venting and whatnot. But... things have changed. God, I keep saying that to myself. Things have changed. Nothing's like before.
I wish I could go back to being that quiet freshman with the soft heart being tempered and shaped by the world. They always say "heart of gold," but gold is such a soft metal. Right now, I have moments where I feel strong. I can go out in the world and make a decision. If I want to go to the grocery store, I can. I get in the car, and I set out on my quest.
But I find now that I gravitate more towards the company of guys than girls, that I like being a strong person and yet at the same time I'm so, so weak. I hate the idea of chasing people down and asking for help. I would rather skip a class all together than be late for it. I'm lazy, and sometimes I feel like the world is closing in when really it's just leaning a bit. Yes, I've been dealing with a lot lately and I have shoved my angst on some people who didn't deserve it (apologizing later for it), but jeez. It's not like I'm in Africa or the Middle East right now, dealing with war and genocide. I'm living in America, for crying out loud, in a house that someone might consider as good as a palace because it has heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer, running, clean water and a fridge filled with food.
I keep telling myself that these things are troublesome and worrying, but all in all, I've got it made in the shade.
And I spend so much time in the shade that in the sun I friggin' glow. Seriously, I need sunshine before I become transparent.
Well, it's almost one in the morning and I should get to sleep so I can leave at eight in the morning to find a parking space. Weird to think that seven hours from now, that's what I'll be doing because it will be a brand new day.
They say that with each new day, you're a new person. But... really, I don't think you are. Maybe it's a new opportunity to change, but nothing can really be undone or ignored.
So let's just say tomorrow's a new day, and I'm also going to say that it'll be totally awesome.