help

[navipenguin]

tonight me and my dad went for a walk. the whole time he was talking about my mom and stuff. he said last night he came close to killing himself. my sister was told last night abotu the whole devorce thing. apparently she didnt know. iv never seen somone this hollow before. when we were walking he was walking fast so his heart woudl go ahead and burst. his blood pressuer keeps rising.and it hurts to see him liek this. it feels bad to know that soon ill be forced to be alone. and now to make things werse hes getting mad at her. hes talking baout hating her all the time now. i know him enough to know that hes mostly doing it cause hes scared of being really alone. hes afraid of losing his everything. an dim left being put in the middle of it to sort out the damages....tonight i feel like drinking. i feel i deserve one. im getting scared that one mouring ill wake up and go abotu my day and then realize that his truck is still in the driveway and that ill walk in his room and find him dead. ether from his heart or from something he did....the quote form donnie darko comes to mind. "everything dies alone".
everyone has their demons to face. my dad's are coming back to get him right now. being alone....tell me what goes good with coke? vodka or rum? iv never had one of those but id liek to know?