umm...
Wow its been awhile...soo much has happen to me...i feel in love...i know weird even for me i never thought the day would ever come that i could say im in love..well ive come to learn that love dies..and it hurts...u know love isnt what everyone thinks it is..its not that big fairy tale...i mean yeah we have our great times but in just one second in one little moment those great times will disappear..when u fall in love..u become the jelious girlfriend/boyfriend u begin to wounder..what is he doing? who is he with? does he really love you or is he using you? do u really love him? i never thought about these things until now..i never thought i would become the jelious girlfriend..i never thought that everytime i get off the phone with him and wounder if he is telling me the truth..love is not understanding, not thinking..then after it happens you sit there and wounder why? why him? why now? then you wounder if it was the right thing to do...should u have said that, should you have done that? the questions go through my head none stop! and the one that i always think about is if he loves me? and when he isnt with me is he with other people mostly girls? and if he is what is he doing with them..is Love hurts...Love isnt understanding...Love isnt really Love its just something we made up...its more a long the line of Lust..Lust the intense longing for passession or enjoyment and then there is Love the strong affection for another person; liking for..if u really look at it, it is the samething..when you have lust u want that person and then when you love u also want that person..Love and everything in a relationship..all of it is just a game we all play with eachother..sometimes the game has to end...its has to end cause now it isnt a game it is a battle a battle against eachother..and that battle will soon come to an end..someone will get sick of the lies, fight, and the unsurtinty and will start waving the white flag...u think it is gonna last forever u think its all going to be great but then there is deseption...and anger..then u just wish u had never felt it before..u wish it would end..then when it does u feel like he took everything you had...he took a part of u..u feel almost empty but then im sure when time goes on u dont feel that way..cause all i know the people i need are my friends and my family cause i know that they will always be there for me through thick and thin..the thing that u learn the most out of it all that in the end when u are old you will always remeber your 1st love even the good and the bad..