Joys & Sorrows/Forever in Harm's Way
This series of posts was written by me. Except for FiHW 06 Dec, they were posted for me by the player of Judas Lasher as I was on a vacation.
These are more or less flashback pieces.
Mars Quinn was an underling of Apollo Maran, whose player is the creator of the storyline for Project Nietzsche.
Forever in Harm's Way: 25 November 1998
The quote is two nonconsecutive lines is from "Standing Outside The Fire," as recorded by Garth Brooks.
Forever in Harm's Way: 03 December 1998
Fionn MacCumhal, also called Finn McCual, was a leader of the Fianna/Fenians. Legend has it that, he like King Arthur, will rise again when his people need him.
Forever in Harm's Way: 06 December 1998
The Gimil ring is symbolic of hidden love. It's actually three rings in one, a gentleman and lady's hand clasping are two. When parted the rings reveal a third ring with a heart beneath them.
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Life had changed and turned around for Collie in the last few weeks. Things were looking up. In Judas Lasher, she had found someone that understood her love for Draven and the pain of her loss. His wife, Jennifer, and his infant son were murdered, he felt that agony as deeply as Collie did the disappearance of Lord Altruis.
They decided to share each other's joys and sorrows as one. They never could agree on a date to get married so the services of Collie's friend Elysia Kalinore to perform the wedding. It was a reversal of roles. Years before, Colleen MacLeod stood in the place Lysie now had and sealed the vows between her and Cory.
Some friends were gathered at the last minute to witness the marriage. Tele stood as maid of honor and Judas's friend Damon Winters was by his side. Soft music filled the air and Collie walked forward on Cory's arm to meet her groom.
When the wedding was over they headed back to the office. It had been decided that Garrick, Nicole, Rhiannon, and Rachael would be adopted by Judas. The Brock children would retain their father's last name. Rachael would become Rachael Lasher in a few weeks time when all the papers were finalized. Judas had emergency business to attend to so Collie headed to the arena, her thoughts happy and warm.
What she saw on her arrival killed the joy she had in her heart like a strike from an executioner's blade. What was supposedly Draven's hand was offered to her as closure of their relationship and proof of his death. Her hatred for Seraph knew no bounds.
Collie entered the locker room with Judas behind her. "Love, I can do this ye know, I'm ney a bairn." Judas stopped the wheelchair just behind her. "Right, but you are expecting one." She grumbled a bit and then started handing him the things she had boxed. "We need ta go into the office. I left a few things in there when I was talkin' wit' Nick O'Doyle." "Who's he?" Judas asked as his lap was filled with things she'd amassed over time. "A friend o' Jesse Troyn's. Nice enough, lad. "
Collie carried her blades herself. It was her way. She stepped outside briefly to slide them onto 'Canna's saddle. The red wiggled his ears and Collie laughed, " 'tis a wee bit o' sugar yer after, aye?" She slipped Ganncana a few sugar cubes from her pocket and the red whinnied. It was his favorite treat ever since he was a foal. The woman patted the stallion's neck and went back in to find two of her sons, Will and Alpha, enlisted to carry boxes.
"Gah, I've no' THAT much piled up!" The men shared a laugh. They knew Collie was the perfect example of the consumate packrat. She saved everything. She lifted a pile of her letters and thumbed through them. Her jaw started to tremble at the words written by a familiar, yet shaky hand. "Collie, what is it?" Judas moved toward her, his hand resting on hers. Her trembling smile told him all he needed to know. He knew without asking who wrote it and sighed. She leaned carefully and kissed his lips. A smile rose on his face, it was her way of telling him that she loved him, but silently. An unspoken message like all couples in love have with each other.
Collie shuffled the papers into a box and soon the job was done save one thing. She took a picture of her family from the wall and handed it to Judas. "Remind me, I want ta send one o' those ta Helix." "Allright, love. Is that everything?" She nodded, "Aye, 'tis amazin' what ye amass over time.. but yet how much some of it really means"
They headed outside to pack boxes into the waiting wagon ready to be hauled by two black geldings. Collie went back a moment for another look.
Collie had written to Mars Quinn to get the papers settled for Mount Olympus stable, but hadn't heard from him. Her gutt told her that Apollo Maran wasn't dead, but for the sake of her children, she kept her mouth shut. If she could keep them protected, Colleen would dig further, but there was little hope of that without keeping them at Navarra where the land was attune to danger about them. She'd been separated from them enough of late and it was just about out of the question.
The appearance of what looked like Draven Altruis in the arena had her in mild shock. She didn't understand if it was him, why he walked right past her. Her instincts told her that he wasn't the man she had loved, no, still loved in her truest heart. Collie's back was up and that was a bad thing. She tended to retreat from much activity when her thoughts were centered on something. Whoever this person was, Collie felt sorry for them when she exposed them for the fraud she believed them to be. Her shock turned into anger, anger at the perpetrator of such a game. Colleen MacLeod Lasher was above all a survivor and would rise above it as she had in the past.
Collie gazed at a picture, she always kept in her home, usually on the mantle or her dresser. It was those she had long called family, Duncan, Em, Vik, Ana, Cray, Rya, Micha, and Desti. Duncan still wore the jacket patch, the Rhydin branch of their family's motto emblazoned upon it in silver thread. This was her lot in life... to be Forever in Harm's Way.
Whoever he was had best be prepared. Those that knew the woman on the inside didn't even know her mind. Draven did to some extent, but a wise person never gives away all of their secrets. He had taught her in his own way, a rather odd game of mental chess. Distract your enemy from the real target, then when you strike the winning blow, they never expect it. All along, thinking they have won when they have played into your hands. It was a big reason why she dueled so poorly, and Rhi so well. She simply didn't care about standings or rank.
She left the house dressed in a pair of black well fitted jeans, low heeled boots, and jacket. Her hair was pulled away from her face. The song ran through her head almost like an anthem, "You've got to be tough when consumed by desire, 'cause it's not enough to stand outside the fire. Life is not tried it is merely survived, if you're standing outside the fire." It was time for a ride, and a long one.
Collie headed to the stables, she hadn't been on Gancanna's back since she found out she was pregnant with her son, Draven. The blanket was sailed onto the old red's back. The heavy saddle flew into place. The new stable boy, Sean, watched in amazement as the heavy piece of tack in two slender arms slapped onto the stallion's back with no effort at all.
A booted foot slipped into the stirrup, Collie lifted herself onto the stallion's back in a single fluid motion. The move had been perfected over nearly five hundred years of riding him. Woman and horse, a perfectly matched pair in temprament. The horse had a golden red coat that match the highlights in Collie's hair. Each in a way a part of the other, yet not.
Gancanna's ear twitched, he knew her moods. Collie was angered and confused, he knew. The old red reared up, his front hooves flailed and he hit the ground at a full gallop.
The stable boy stood back astounded. He hadn't seen Collie before, but knew standing orders were that no one outside the family touched the eighteen hands of warhorse weighing in at nearly a ton and a half.
Sean had been told that the horse was a thing of beauty when he ran full out like a steeplechaser. The long legs moved with a grace and speed unmatched by anything he'd ever seen. Truth be told, Collie had only seen one mortal horse faster, Hermes, the black from Mount Olympus Stables.
The sun was just begining to rise over the eastern ridge of the mountains surrounding Navarra. Collie pulled up on the horse's rein to watch and ponder the words of Darius to her.
Days had past, yet once again, Collie found herself at the top of the mountain. This place was home, the land of its counterpart in Ireland had been in her family for almost two thousand years. Gancanna knickered softly as a gentle tug on his reins told him to stop.
The thought of the deaths of three men filled her thoughts, three good men. She failed to understand why Darian Redwin was among them. His name was never even mentioned. She cursed whatever manner of creature had decided to end their lives. There was nothing she could do now, but pray for their souls. She knew not where Jona had sent them for burial, but hoped it was peaceful, and that their souls had joined the likes of Fionn MacCumhal.
As a young woman, Collie looked down into a valley in Ireland, halfway between Dublin and Drogheda, and surveyed all that would once be hers along with the price it would cost her. The price of the land and job that went with was steep. She was the next to be the warder of the creature that dwelled in this protected place. Her life would be long and full of love of her offspring. It was a prophecy that she would eventually find her match in life as well, but there would be many broken ties along the way.
Sunrise in Rhydin was beautiful, but not anywhere near the sun coming up behind Dunvagen castle on the Isle of Skye in Scotland. That was a magnificent sight to behold. The golden rays warming the cold stone could strike a sense of belonging into the hearts of those fortunate enough to bear witness.
The longest relationship of her life, barring the bond to her steed, was with Damon Brock. She had met him when she was fifteen. They were happy flitting in and out of each other's lives over the years. Somehow when it came to being married and raising a family together, they fell apart.
It was perhaps that Damon's needed to be away from home so much interfered with the closeness needed between husband and wife. His time away grew longer and longer and soon he never returned. Perhaps it was the interfering of his sisters. Collie usually put it down to the last and couldn't help, but wonder if one of the Three Fates held him captive now. She made it a practice to never speak ill of the man in front of his children. He had been a good father to them, fathers are to be respected and revered.
Collie wondered often wondered where he was. A far greater concern was their firstborn, she worried that he also never returned. No matter how old a child is, a mother still worries. The ties of motherhood aren't cut when a child is of age.
The ride back down was a time for decisions. Her garden was a place of solace. Later in the day she knelt and dug with her fingers into the soft earth. There was a wedding Sunday and she needed to prepare for it. A part of her contribution was a specially breed blue rose called, "Rachael's Promise." It reflected the blue of her daughter's eyes.
When she finished digging and replanting, Collie brushed the dirt from her hands and moved toward a quiet corner in the garden.
This place had been fenced off from the rest of the garden. The sight there made her knees buckle. Collie's eyes closed and she dropped to her knees offering a prayer to a god she never worshipped, but out of respect for this place and the one who rested here, she prayed to Hades, lord of the underworld and his lady, Persephone, that the soul of the one buried here had long been in their care. The stone marked the resting place of what would have been her seventh child with Damon.
Collie had lost children before, but somehow this one was symbolic of far more. This was the symbol of a broken bond of love that had been ages long and deep. She knew that even though somewhere Damon still existed, he would never return. It took a long time to put her thoughts to rest and her heart at peace over him. Several years had passed before she really opened again.
People told her that she should just get over him, but those were people who had never really been in love. Those that had, told her to let time heal the wounds and close the passages to the memories that caused her pain.
Some called it obsession, perhaps to them it was, but if that's what wanting to give up what amounted to most of her life was, then so be it. His memory haunted her for a long time after his departure, the why he left, and was it her that caused it.
She faced the same thing now, the more she tried to forget, the harder it became. It had been barely a year since the disappearance of yet another in her life. Somehow, the lack of closure of one kind or another with either of them had pushed her just a bit farther than before. Someone always reminded her in one way or another that she had lost him, and that it perhaps was somehow her fault.
The ugliest break up was perhaps with Rad, but that was a closure. It was ended, no lose ends to tie, they were cut.
Collie could stand on her own if she had to, but it always felt as though something was missing. There was one in her life that had been always honest with her. Collie felt more for him than she would ever say. Although they closed the door between them often, it was never really locked.
To the right of the headstone was the place she had buried what Lupton had present to her as remains. Her hands rested in the praying position for a moment, then her finger tips slid down her hand to her palm, she repeated the movement on the other side. It was an unconscious ritual while she was deep in reverie.
Colleen walked a tightrope of sorts, between reality and dream. Her love and loyalty was with Judas. People assumed that her best known love was her fixation, but they couldn't have been farther from the truth. The obsession was with one that few even knew she had been seeing prior to her marriage. A name that rarely passed her lips in public.
Rachael's Promise roses grew over the site that supposedly held the only known remains of a man now long gone from Collie's life. She slipped the silver Gimil ring from her left middle finger and dug a small hole near the base of the rosebush. She buried the ring which was a constant reminder she carried with her of love unrequited, both then and now. There was always the lasting reminder of her son who carried the name and her daughter, who often times reflected that impish grin.
Final good-byes and prayers were spoken for two and when she rose, a sense of relief came over her. Peace had finally come... her life was her family, but then again, it always had been.
These are more or less flashback pieces.
Mars Quinn was an underling of Apollo Maran, whose player is the creator of the storyline for Project Nietzsche.
Forever in Harm's Way: 25 November 1998
The quote is two nonconsecutive lines is from "Standing Outside The Fire," as recorded by Garth Brooks.
Forever in Harm's Way: 03 December 1998
Fionn MacCumhal, also called Finn McCual, was a leader of the Fianna/Fenians. Legend has it that, he like King Arthur, will rise again when his people need him.
Forever in Harm's Way: 06 December 1998
The Gimil ring is symbolic of hidden love. It's actually three rings in one, a gentleman and lady's hand clasping are two. When parted the rings reveal a third ring with a heart beneath them.
There are 99 posts left to add.
If you wish to post a comment, please post it here
Life had changed and turned around for Collie in the last few weeks. Things were looking up. In Judas Lasher, she had found someone that understood her love for Draven and the pain of her loss. His wife, Jennifer, and his infant son were murdered, he felt that agony as deeply as Collie did the disappearance of Lord Altruis.
They decided to share each other's joys and sorrows as one. They never could agree on a date to get married so the services of Collie's friend Elysia Kalinore to perform the wedding. It was a reversal of roles. Years before, Colleen MacLeod stood in the place Lysie now had and sealed the vows between her and Cory.
Some friends were gathered at the last minute to witness the marriage. Tele stood as maid of honor and Judas's friend Damon Winters was by his side. Soft music filled the air and Collie walked forward on Cory's arm to meet her groom.
When the wedding was over they headed back to the office. It had been decided that Garrick, Nicole, Rhiannon, and Rachael would be adopted by Judas. The Brock children would retain their father's last name. Rachael would become Rachael Lasher in a few weeks time when all the papers were finalized. Judas had emergency business to attend to so Collie headed to the arena, her thoughts happy and warm.
What she saw on her arrival killed the joy she had in her heart like a strike from an executioner's blade. What was supposedly Draven's hand was offered to her as closure of their relationship and proof of his death. Her hatred for Seraph knew no bounds.
Collie entered the locker room with Judas behind her. "Love, I can do this ye know, I'm ney a bairn." Judas stopped the wheelchair just behind her. "Right, but you are expecting one." She grumbled a bit and then started handing him the things she had boxed. "We need ta go into the office. I left a few things in there when I was talkin' wit' Nick O'Doyle." "Who's he?" Judas asked as his lap was filled with things she'd amassed over time. "A friend o' Jesse Troyn's. Nice enough, lad. "
Collie carried her blades herself. It was her way. She stepped outside briefly to slide them onto 'Canna's saddle. The red wiggled his ears and Collie laughed, " 'tis a wee bit o' sugar yer after, aye?" She slipped Ganncana a few sugar cubes from her pocket and the red whinnied. It was his favorite treat ever since he was a foal. The woman patted the stallion's neck and went back in to find two of her sons, Will and Alpha, enlisted to carry boxes.
"Gah, I've no' THAT much piled up!" The men shared a laugh. They knew Collie was the perfect example of the consumate packrat. She saved everything. She lifted a pile of her letters and thumbed through them. Her jaw started to tremble at the words written by a familiar, yet shaky hand. "Collie, what is it?" Judas moved toward her, his hand resting on hers. Her trembling smile told him all he needed to know. He knew without asking who wrote it and sighed. She leaned carefully and kissed his lips. A smile rose on his face, it was her way of telling him that she loved him, but silently. An unspoken message like all couples in love have with each other.
Collie shuffled the papers into a box and soon the job was done save one thing. She took a picture of her family from the wall and handed it to Judas. "Remind me, I want ta send one o' those ta Helix." "Allright, love. Is that everything?" She nodded, "Aye, 'tis amazin' what ye amass over time.. but yet how much some of it really means"
They headed outside to pack boxes into the waiting wagon ready to be hauled by two black geldings. Collie went back a moment for another look.
Collie had written to Mars Quinn to get the papers settled for Mount Olympus stable, but hadn't heard from him. Her gutt told her that Apollo Maran wasn't dead, but for the sake of her children, she kept her mouth shut. If she could keep them protected, Colleen would dig further, but there was little hope of that without keeping them at Navarra where the land was attune to danger about them. She'd been separated from them enough of late and it was just about out of the question.
The appearance of what looked like Draven Altruis in the arena had her in mild shock. She didn't understand if it was him, why he walked right past her. Her instincts told her that he wasn't the man she had loved, no, still loved in her truest heart. Collie's back was up and that was a bad thing. She tended to retreat from much activity when her thoughts were centered on something. Whoever this person was, Collie felt sorry for them when she exposed them for the fraud she believed them to be. Her shock turned into anger, anger at the perpetrator of such a game. Colleen MacLeod Lasher was above all a survivor and would rise above it as she had in the past.
Collie gazed at a picture, she always kept in her home, usually on the mantle or her dresser. It was those she had long called family, Duncan, Em, Vik, Ana, Cray, Rya, Micha, and Desti. Duncan still wore the jacket patch, the Rhydin branch of their family's motto emblazoned upon it in silver thread. This was her lot in life... to be Forever in Harm's Way.
Whoever he was had best be prepared. Those that knew the woman on the inside didn't even know her mind. Draven did to some extent, but a wise person never gives away all of their secrets. He had taught her in his own way, a rather odd game of mental chess. Distract your enemy from the real target, then when you strike the winning blow, they never expect it. All along, thinking they have won when they have played into your hands. It was a big reason why she dueled so poorly, and Rhi so well. She simply didn't care about standings or rank.
She left the house dressed in a pair of black well fitted jeans, low heeled boots, and jacket. Her hair was pulled away from her face. The song ran through her head almost like an anthem, "You've got to be tough when consumed by desire, 'cause it's not enough to stand outside the fire. Life is not tried it is merely survived, if you're standing outside the fire." It was time for a ride, and a long one.
Collie headed to the stables, she hadn't been on Gancanna's back since she found out she was pregnant with her son, Draven. The blanket was sailed onto the old red's back. The heavy saddle flew into place. The new stable boy, Sean, watched in amazement as the heavy piece of tack in two slender arms slapped onto the stallion's back with no effort at all.
A booted foot slipped into the stirrup, Collie lifted herself onto the stallion's back in a single fluid motion. The move had been perfected over nearly five hundred years of riding him. Woman and horse, a perfectly matched pair in temprament. The horse had a golden red coat that match the highlights in Collie's hair. Each in a way a part of the other, yet not.
Gancanna's ear twitched, he knew her moods. Collie was angered and confused, he knew. The old red reared up, his front hooves flailed and he hit the ground at a full gallop.
The stable boy stood back astounded. He hadn't seen Collie before, but knew standing orders were that no one outside the family touched the eighteen hands of warhorse weighing in at nearly a ton and a half.
Sean had been told that the horse was a thing of beauty when he ran full out like a steeplechaser. The long legs moved with a grace and speed unmatched by anything he'd ever seen. Truth be told, Collie had only seen one mortal horse faster, Hermes, the black from Mount Olympus Stables.
The sun was just begining to rise over the eastern ridge of the mountains surrounding Navarra. Collie pulled up on the horse's rein to watch and ponder the words of Darius to her.
Days had past, yet once again, Collie found herself at the top of the mountain. This place was home, the land of its counterpart in Ireland had been in her family for almost two thousand years. Gancanna knickered softly as a gentle tug on his reins told him to stop.
The thought of the deaths of three men filled her thoughts, three good men. She failed to understand why Darian Redwin was among them. His name was never even mentioned. She cursed whatever manner of creature had decided to end their lives. There was nothing she could do now, but pray for their souls. She knew not where Jona had sent them for burial, but hoped it was peaceful, and that their souls had joined the likes of Fionn MacCumhal.
As a young woman, Collie looked down into a valley in Ireland, halfway between Dublin and Drogheda, and surveyed all that would once be hers along with the price it would cost her. The price of the land and job that went with was steep. She was the next to be the warder of the creature that dwelled in this protected place. Her life would be long and full of love of her offspring. It was a prophecy that she would eventually find her match in life as well, but there would be many broken ties along the way.
Sunrise in Rhydin was beautiful, but not anywhere near the sun coming up behind Dunvagen castle on the Isle of Skye in Scotland. That was a magnificent sight to behold. The golden rays warming the cold stone could strike a sense of belonging into the hearts of those fortunate enough to bear witness.
The longest relationship of her life, barring the bond to her steed, was with Damon Brock. She had met him when she was fifteen. They were happy flitting in and out of each other's lives over the years. Somehow when it came to being married and raising a family together, they fell apart.
It was perhaps that Damon's needed to be away from home so much interfered with the closeness needed between husband and wife. His time away grew longer and longer and soon he never returned. Perhaps it was the interfering of his sisters. Collie usually put it down to the last and couldn't help, but wonder if one of the Three Fates held him captive now. She made it a practice to never speak ill of the man in front of his children. He had been a good father to them, fathers are to be respected and revered.
Collie wondered often wondered where he was. A far greater concern was their firstborn, she worried that he also never returned. No matter how old a child is, a mother still worries. The ties of motherhood aren't cut when a child is of age.
The ride back down was a time for decisions. Her garden was a place of solace. Later in the day she knelt and dug with her fingers into the soft earth. There was a wedding Sunday and she needed to prepare for it. A part of her contribution was a specially breed blue rose called, "Rachael's Promise." It reflected the blue of her daughter's eyes.
When she finished digging and replanting, Collie brushed the dirt from her hands and moved toward a quiet corner in the garden.
This place had been fenced off from the rest of the garden. The sight there made her knees buckle. Collie's eyes closed and she dropped to her knees offering a prayer to a god she never worshipped, but out of respect for this place and the one who rested here, she prayed to Hades, lord of the underworld and his lady, Persephone, that the soul of the one buried here had long been in their care. The stone marked the resting place of what would have been her seventh child with Damon.
Collie had lost children before, but somehow this one was symbolic of far more. This was the symbol of a broken bond of love that had been ages long and deep. She knew that even though somewhere Damon still existed, he would never return. It took a long time to put her thoughts to rest and her heart at peace over him. Several years had passed before she really opened again.
People told her that she should just get over him, but those were people who had never really been in love. Those that had, told her to let time heal the wounds and close the passages to the memories that caused her pain.
Some called it obsession, perhaps to them it was, but if that's what wanting to give up what amounted to most of her life was, then so be it. His memory haunted her for a long time after his departure, the why he left, and was it her that caused it.
She faced the same thing now, the more she tried to forget, the harder it became. It had been barely a year since the disappearance of yet another in her life. Somehow, the lack of closure of one kind or another with either of them had pushed her just a bit farther than before. Someone always reminded her in one way or another that she had lost him, and that it perhaps was somehow her fault.
The ugliest break up was perhaps with Rad, but that was a closure. It was ended, no lose ends to tie, they were cut.
Collie could stand on her own if she had to, but it always felt as though something was missing. There was one in her life that had been always honest with her. Collie felt more for him than she would ever say. Although they closed the door between them often, it was never really locked.
To the right of the headstone was the place she had buried what Lupton had present to her as remains. Her hands rested in the praying position for a moment, then her finger tips slid down her hand to her palm, she repeated the movement on the other side. It was an unconscious ritual while she was deep in reverie.
Colleen walked a tightrope of sorts, between reality and dream. Her love and loyalty was with Judas. People assumed that her best known love was her fixation, but they couldn't have been farther from the truth. The obsession was with one that few even knew she had been seeing prior to her marriage. A name that rarely passed her lips in public.
Rachael's Promise roses grew over the site that supposedly held the only known remains of a man now long gone from Collie's life. She slipped the silver Gimil ring from her left middle finger and dug a small hole near the base of the rosebush. She buried the ring which was a constant reminder she carried with her of love unrequited, both then and now. There was always the lasting reminder of her son who carried the name and her daughter, who often times reflected that impish grin.
Final good-byes and prayers were spoken for two and when she rose, a sense of relief came over her. Peace had finally come... her life was her family, but then again, it always had been.