Ramblings upon an upcoming depression
There are days like this one, when outside it is snowing, but the sun also shines. It is the verge of autumn and winter, a precarious balancing of warmth and cold... It is freezing. I can't get warm, whatever I try, I'm always cold. I wake up during the night, because a part of me is aching with coldness. Then I try to go back to sleep. But it's still cold.
I listen to Lisa Gerrard and Patrick Cassidy, Immortal Memories. Once, my grandmum heard the last song on this cd, a Psallit in Aure Dei, with a beautiful male tenor and organ... And she said, she would like me to play that song on her funeral. Some things have the ability to bring tears to my eyes whenever I think of them. But also the resolve to do them, no matter what the rest of my family may think. And it is but another reason to go on living, when it would be so easy just to go out and disappear... It's so cold. Still.
I listen to Lisa Gerrard and Patrick Cassidy, Immortal Memories. Once, my grandmum heard the last song on this cd, a Psallit in Aure Dei, with a beautiful male tenor and organ... And she said, she would like me to play that song on her funeral. Some things have the ability to bring tears to my eyes whenever I think of them. But also the resolve to do them, no matter what the rest of my family may think. And it is but another reason to go on living, when it would be so easy just to go out and disappear... It's so cold. Still.