(no subject)
so heres where we are now...I am hanging out with both laural and lucy...laural is asleep...lucy is not...so neither am I...I think I am now the pet of a pornstars girlfriend...I havnt slept. Period. Way tooo long...Its starting to hurt...this acid isnt clean...I can feel it in my spine...that hurts too...I might have fucked myself over for school...but I have managed to stay fucked up enough to not have made sure...my parents are pissed and not only do I not change my behavior, I cant even focus on their words long enough to figure out what I am doing wrong...I am alone...In front of a computer...saying...whats been running through my head all day...and I kind of want to cry agian...maybe itll be one of those kinds of trips...except I dont have time to make it through it, to let it run its course...I have work in just a few hours, and I peaked about an hour ago...and there is no one who can hold my hand, and no one that would if they could...I had to tell my girl that I couldnt babysit her earlier, because I felt as if I had to, but I had just woken up and felt those chemicals hit my brain, and I could barly comprehend the fact that the time of waking, and dealing, and sobering responsibility had begun, let alone how we were going to find all our clothes and get out of there in 20 minutes...so...I guess this is one of those points where I stop and ask...is this really my life?