Because i care too much...
now i know really its none of my business, besides the fact that one of my friends is hurting. i'd like to start off with saying that i by no means know everything that is/did/had gone down with the situation(s) involved beyond word of mouth and internet bloggism.
all i need to say is IT ISN'T ANYONE'S DIRECT FAULT!
there, from what i can see, were some wrong decisions made, some misscommunications happened and some people's fealings were hurt. but last time i check everyone who was involved was an adult who had the right to make their feelings known, and have repect given to them for standing by, fixing, and working and learning from the decisions they made. everyone fucks up. it's the way they learn and grow from it that proves that they are a great human being.
NO ONE should be blaming themselves for what happened. shit happens. soemtimes happiness ends, but only new happiness can come out of the sadness. everything works out for the best in the end. if it's not the best, it's not the end.
and finally...
when attempting open relationships tell your partner everything WITHIN REASON. thinking "would i really want to hear this come from their mouths" before spilling beans is always a good general rule. intimate relations with a person should always be kept on the down-low. there are too many ways that spilling the beans on someone or some situation just turns out BAD. that is where bitterness, envy and jealous all dwell and breed. (no pun intended) be open and honest with your SO, tell them, what happened, but in a breaf, professional manner. "holy cow dear! we fucked for HOURS, way longer than we ever do, and she made me cum sooo many times my head is still spinning. and boy did i give her a licking of LIFETIME!" <-- = BAD. "dear, me and 'mystery girl/guy X' fooled around. yes we had oral sex, yes we had intercourse, yes i had fun." end story. rules should alway be established before hand as to the notice given before an encounter should occur (it's always good to run past possible flings with the SO first and SO's should ALWAYS have vito power. because your relationship is all about THEM, not you. if you want it to be about you, be single), how far you wish to /will go with the 3rd party (making out, touching, oral, intercourse...other?), and BOTH partners should agree that any details after an encounter stays private. unless you are there, you don't need to know. finally, if either partner has ANY concerns durring the open period, they should voice them ASAP. all issues should be resolved soon and all "extra curricular" activities should be put on hold till things in Priority A (the relationship) are fixed.
< /rant >
all i need to say is IT ISN'T ANYONE'S DIRECT FAULT!
there, from what i can see, were some wrong decisions made, some misscommunications happened and some people's fealings were hurt. but last time i check everyone who was involved was an adult who had the right to make their feelings known, and have repect given to them for standing by, fixing, and working and learning from the decisions they made. everyone fucks up. it's the way they learn and grow from it that proves that they are a great human being.
NO ONE should be blaming themselves for what happened. shit happens. soemtimes happiness ends, but only new happiness can come out of the sadness. everything works out for the best in the end. if it's not the best, it's not the end.
and finally...
when attempting open relationships tell your partner everything WITHIN REASON. thinking "would i really want to hear this come from their mouths" before spilling beans is always a good general rule. intimate relations with a person should always be kept on the down-low. there are too many ways that spilling the beans on someone or some situation just turns out BAD. that is where bitterness, envy and jealous all dwell and breed. (no pun intended) be open and honest with your SO, tell them, what happened, but in a breaf, professional manner. "holy cow dear! we fucked for HOURS, way longer than we ever do, and she made me cum sooo many times my head is still spinning. and boy did i give her a licking of LIFETIME!" <-- = BAD. "dear, me and 'mystery girl/guy X' fooled around. yes we had oral sex, yes we had intercourse, yes i had fun." end story. rules should alway be established before hand as to the notice given before an encounter should occur (it's always good to run past possible flings with the SO first and SO's should ALWAYS have vito power. because your relationship is all about THEM, not you. if you want it to be about you, be single), how far you wish to /will go with the 3rd party (making out, touching, oral, intercourse...other?), and BOTH partners should agree that any details after an encounter stays private. unless you are there, you don't need to know. finally, if either partner has ANY concerns durring the open period, they should voice them ASAP. all issues should be resolved soon and all "extra curricular" activities should be put on hold till things in Priority A (the relationship) are fixed.
< /rant >