BLAH
Well this officially SUCKS.
So Timmy says we're going on a double date on Sunday for our sixth month. Ok. Cool. I assume the other two is gonna be either his sister and her boyfriend, or Austin and Laura, our friends. He tells me that it's actually his friend and his EX. Oh, but no worries Katherine, you'll really like her! She's funny, nice, helped him when he was suicidal. Oh fuck yeah! Let's invite Troy fucking Green while we're at it! He's my high school ex btw, the one who changed me from the optimistic person to the cynical, depressed person that I am today. Yay?
But here's the thing. He says that if I don't like it (which I know I won't, even if she loves Harry Potter and Spongebog and whatever), he'll never "put me through that again". Thing is...you've already put me through it. Now I won't imagine you with a faceless girl, now I'll know exactly what she looks like. And when we're having sex, I can now imagine him and her doing it! Oh joy! Then I'll be comparing us both, and knowing me no matter what she looks like, I'm gonna feel like shit. I know that when they're sitting there, laughing about old times, I'll be sitting there wishing I had some sharp object to use on myself.
But if I say that I don't want to go at all, oh sure he'll accept it, but I'll be seen as the immature, jealous and petty teenage girlfriend. Some fucking great six month present, eh? And yeah, I may be melodramatic or something, but if you knew me, and I mean REALLY knew me, you'd know this really isn't good for me. FUCK.
So Timmy says we're going on a double date on Sunday for our sixth month. Ok. Cool. I assume the other two is gonna be either his sister and her boyfriend, or Austin and Laura, our friends. He tells me that it's actually his friend and his EX. Oh, but no worries Katherine, you'll really like her! She's funny, nice, helped him when he was suicidal. Oh fuck yeah! Let's invite Troy fucking Green while we're at it! He's my high school ex btw, the one who changed me from the optimistic person to the cynical, depressed person that I am today. Yay?
But here's the thing. He says that if I don't like it (which I know I won't, even if she loves Harry Potter and Spongebog and whatever), he'll never "put me through that again". Thing is...you've already put me through it. Now I won't imagine you with a faceless girl, now I'll know exactly what she looks like. And when we're having sex, I can now imagine him and her doing it! Oh joy! Then I'll be comparing us both, and knowing me no matter what she looks like, I'm gonna feel like shit. I know that when they're sitting there, laughing about old times, I'll be sitting there wishing I had some sharp object to use on myself.
But if I say that I don't want to go at all, oh sure he'll accept it, but I'll be seen as the immature, jealous and petty teenage girlfriend. Some fucking great six month present, eh? And yeah, I may be melodramatic or something, but if you knew me, and I mean REALLY knew me, you'd know this really isn't good for me. FUCK.