Some will win, some will lose, some were born to sing the blues
Fucking Expo.
I realised the other day that I haven't updated in May. Oops. And what a first entry - fucking Expo. Why do we keep going? The very first time we went, we said never again, not unless they get somebody like Gina Torres. And then we had to go back, and despite the initial horror of the fact we have to go to Docklands, and the freaks and the smell and the queueing, when you push past all of that to the corner where they hide the actual celebrities, it's so calm and quiet and easy. We go in saying "fucking Expo!" and come out saying "Ah, Expo. Our favourite event!"
Not any more. It was back to the hell from the first time - the hell that we thought was only because Simon Pegg and Nick Frost were signing for free.
We still managed to get everything done, but it was in no way calm or quiet or easy. There were actual queues for things! Hilary and I even ended up in a pre-queue-queue for Linda Hamilton/Joe Morton/Neil Grayston!
We met Gareth David-Lloyd (Ianto from Torchwood), who was lovely as expected and looked rather yummy. He did seem a bit bored/distracted but said hello and called everybody "lovely" and smiled for posed photos. Craig Charles was sitting at the same table and seemed even less interested - he stopped to take a phone call just as we got there, so good thing we were wanting Gareth and not him! I heard him tell the person on the other end "I'm in Leeds tomorrow" - oh how I was wishing I'd asked him if I could cadge a lift by the end of the day!
Then we got in the pre-queue-queue mentioned above. Karen, Max, Jaina and Ryan had already got in it while we were queueing for Gareth so got through a bit sooner. When we were almost at the front a man made me go up to Neil and Joe because I wanted them for Eureka, and didn't want to see Linda Hamilton. Was a bit miffed I couldn't go through with Hilary because she did want to see Linda so had to stay in the queue, but never mind. It worked out in the end.
I had Neil sign both Eureka and Wonderfalls. He was totally adorable and was happy when he saw Wonderfalls - he said people kept mentioning to him that they'd loved it but mine was the first one he'd had brought to him for signing. Then he decided to turn one of the silhouettes on the back of the Eureka box into Fargo, drawing glasses on "himself" and then deciding they were crap glasses. Bless.
Joe was nice enough, smiled and said hello, but not exactly the life and soul or anything.
While the others went for lunch, I met Tony Curtis. Even though I don't really know him from anything, I know what a legend he is and thought it was a chance not to be missed. And yes, it did cross my mind it might be worth something when he, er, passes on. I am a robot so didn't bother getting anything to eat - after I was done with Tony, I went off to the photo area to wait, because we had a Neil/Joe shot booked at 1.45 and it was already nearly 1.30.
Come 2pm, nothing had happened, because they'd LOST Neil and Joe. How do you LOSE your celeb guests?! Ugh. Neil turned up and did the people who'd booked Neil shots, and then sat around waiting for a few minutes. Then a woman came round and offered us sweets and chocolate crispy things from the snack table they have for the guests... the minutes ticket on, and then Neil appeared offering us all flapjacks. Neil is awesome. He couldn't apologise enough for the losing of Joe, and even started offering flapjacks to people who were just in the area rather than in the queue.
Then he went to leave, and we were like "WHOA!" and then he stopped for a quick chat again, saying how sorry he was that they'd lost Joe and he would be right back when they found him! There was a brief moment of Mild Concern when we thought we'd heard Joe announced on stage (the Neil/Joe panel was meant to be at 2.30... by this time it was ticking on for 3 with no sign of Joe), and Hilary went to investigate as she wasn't waiting for a photo. Finally, some time just before 3, Joe arrived. We all cheered... not that he apologised! Then Neil returned, we got our pictures done, and between us kicked up enough of a fuss that the lovely lady in charge of the session managed to get our pictures printed right there and then instead of us having to wait for them.
We left immediately when we had them. Could not wait to get out of that place. Had to get a replacement bus to Canning Town because the DLR was off, but that was fairly painless. We all got the Jubilee Line to London Bridge and then got on the Northern Line, where I only went one stop before leaving the peeps to head to Victoria coach station. I got there at 4.30 in time for my 5pm coach. Plenty of time!
Sigh.
I got on the bus and went to sleep. Lovely sleepy sleep. We were due to get to Leeds at 9.30. Around 7.45 I woke up and realised that we had stopped. Odd. I looked out of the front. No traffic. Odder. Turns out we had a total blowout (how I didn't wake up when this happened I don't know). We were on the hard shoulder and it was going to be 90 mins for either a replacement coach or somebody to change the tyre.
Then the Highways Agency people turned up and insisted that we couldn't all stay on the bus at the side of the motorway, and other National Express coaches going in a similar direction stopped to take people. The first bus to Leeds filled up before I got to the front to get off. The next bus was just going to take people to Woodall Services to wait until the driver of our bus managed to get it fixed, then he'd carry on taking people home. This is the point I started wishing I'd asked Craig Charles for a lift to Leeds.
I told him if I wasn't home by 10.50 I'd miss the last bus and have to pay £25 for a taxi. There was only 10 seats on the bus to Woodall services and there were 12 people. The driver said maybe I could get on the next Leeds bus that came along, along with one other person. Then, miracle of all miracles, the original Leeds bus that had taken loads of people on had managed to magic up two seats by getting parents with young kids to sit them on their knees. So I managed to get on that one. When we got to Sheffield and people got off I moved so that the lady next to me could have her seat back for her son. I was back in Leeds by 10.30 and on the 10.50 bus, but it was hairy for a while there and I was so glad to be home!
And Jaina, before you say anything, you can't have a point for that. I would much rather get a puncture on a bus where I can sit on the bus and then be moved to another bus and potentially pay a bit for a taxi than I would sit at the side of the motorway by myself with a blown tyre either waiting for breakdown recovery or trying to change it myself. Remember Diana?
Fucking Expo.
I realised the other day that I haven't updated in May. Oops. And what a first entry - fucking Expo. Why do we keep going? The very first time we went, we said never again, not unless they get somebody like Gina Torres. And then we had to go back, and despite the initial horror of the fact we have to go to Docklands, and the freaks and the smell and the queueing, when you push past all of that to the corner where they hide the actual celebrities, it's so calm and quiet and easy. We go in saying "fucking Expo!" and come out saying "Ah, Expo. Our favourite event!"
Not any more. It was back to the hell from the first time - the hell that we thought was only because Simon Pegg and Nick Frost were signing for free.
We still managed to get everything done, but it was in no way calm or quiet or easy. There were actual queues for things! Hilary and I even ended up in a pre-queue-queue for Linda Hamilton/Joe Morton/Neil Grayston!
We met Gareth David-Lloyd (Ianto from Torchwood), who was lovely as expected and looked rather yummy. He did seem a bit bored/distracted but said hello and called everybody "lovely" and smiled for posed photos. Craig Charles was sitting at the same table and seemed even less interested - he stopped to take a phone call just as we got there, so good thing we were wanting Gareth and not him! I heard him tell the person on the other end "I'm in Leeds tomorrow" - oh how I was wishing I'd asked him if I could cadge a lift by the end of the day!
Then we got in the pre-queue-queue mentioned above. Karen, Max, Jaina and Ryan had already got in it while we were queueing for Gareth so got through a bit sooner. When we were almost at the front a man made me go up to Neil and Joe because I wanted them for Eureka, and didn't want to see Linda Hamilton. Was a bit miffed I couldn't go through with Hilary because she did want to see Linda so had to stay in the queue, but never mind. It worked out in the end.
I had Neil sign both Eureka and Wonderfalls. He was totally adorable and was happy when he saw Wonderfalls - he said people kept mentioning to him that they'd loved it but mine was the first one he'd had brought to him for signing. Then he decided to turn one of the silhouettes on the back of the Eureka box into Fargo, drawing glasses on "himself" and then deciding they were crap glasses. Bless.
Joe was nice enough, smiled and said hello, but not exactly the life and soul or anything.
While the others went for lunch, I met Tony Curtis. Even though I don't really know him from anything, I know what a legend he is and thought it was a chance not to be missed. And yes, it did cross my mind it might be worth something when he, er, passes on. I am a robot so didn't bother getting anything to eat - after I was done with Tony, I went off to the photo area to wait, because we had a Neil/Joe shot booked at 1.45 and it was already nearly 1.30.
Come 2pm, nothing had happened, because they'd LOST Neil and Joe. How do you LOSE your celeb guests?! Ugh. Neil turned up and did the people who'd booked Neil shots, and then sat around waiting for a few minutes. Then a woman came round and offered us sweets and chocolate crispy things from the snack table they have for the guests... the minutes ticket on, and then Neil appeared offering us all flapjacks. Neil is awesome. He couldn't apologise enough for the losing of Joe, and even started offering flapjacks to people who were just in the area rather than in the queue.
Then he went to leave, and we were like "WHOA!" and then he stopped for a quick chat again, saying how sorry he was that they'd lost Joe and he would be right back when they found him! There was a brief moment of Mild Concern when we thought we'd heard Joe announced on stage (the Neil/Joe panel was meant to be at 2.30... by this time it was ticking on for 3 with no sign of Joe), and Hilary went to investigate as she wasn't waiting for a photo. Finally, some time just before 3, Joe arrived. We all cheered... not that he apologised! Then Neil returned, we got our pictures done, and between us kicked up enough of a fuss that the lovely lady in charge of the session managed to get our pictures printed right there and then instead of us having to wait for them.
We left immediately when we had them. Could not wait to get out of that place. Had to get a replacement bus to Canning Town because the DLR was off, but that was fairly painless. We all got the Jubilee Line to London Bridge and then got on the Northern Line, where I only went one stop before leaving the peeps to head to Victoria coach station. I got there at 4.30 in time for my 5pm coach. Plenty of time!
Sigh.
I got on the bus and went to sleep. Lovely sleepy sleep. We were due to get to Leeds at 9.30. Around 7.45 I woke up and realised that we had stopped. Odd. I looked out of the front. No traffic. Odder. Turns out we had a total blowout (how I didn't wake up when this happened I don't know). We were on the hard shoulder and it was going to be 90 mins for either a replacement coach or somebody to change the tyre.
Then the Highways Agency people turned up and insisted that we couldn't all stay on the bus at the side of the motorway, and other National Express coaches going in a similar direction stopped to take people. The first bus to Leeds filled up before I got to the front to get off. The next bus was just going to take people to Woodall Services to wait until the driver of our bus managed to get it fixed, then he'd carry on taking people home. This is the point I started wishing I'd asked Craig Charles for a lift to Leeds.
I told him if I wasn't home by 10.50 I'd miss the last bus and have to pay £25 for a taxi. There was only 10 seats on the bus to Woodall services and there were 12 people. The driver said maybe I could get on the next Leeds bus that came along, along with one other person. Then, miracle of all miracles, the original Leeds bus that had taken loads of people on had managed to magic up two seats by getting parents with young kids to sit them on their knees. So I managed to get on that one. When we got to Sheffield and people got off I moved so that the lady next to me could have her seat back for her son. I was back in Leeds by 10.30 and on the 10.50 bus, but it was hairy for a while there and I was so glad to be home!
And Jaina, before you say anything, you can't have a point for that. I would much rather get a puncture on a bus where I can sit on the bus and then be moved to another bus and potentially pay a bit for a taxi than I would sit at the side of the motorway by myself with a blown tyre either waiting for breakdown recovery or trying to change it myself. Remember Diana?
Fucking Expo.