Funny
"In England, Smokey the Bear is not the forest fire prevention representative. They have Smackey the Frog. It's just like a bear, but it's a frog. I think it's a better system, I think we should adopt it. Because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me, and I thought 'man, I'd better play dead. Here comes that frog...' You never say here comes that frog in a nervous manner. It's always optimistic. Hey, here comes that frog, all right. Maybe he will settle near me so I can pet him, and stick him in a mayonnaise jar, with a stick and a leaf, to recreate what he's used to. And I'm pretty sure I'd have to punch some holes in the lid, because he's damn sure used to air. Then I can observe him, and he won't be doing much in his 16-ounce world.
...if there's a frog around, I don't have to hang my fucking sandwiches from a branch, he knows they are for me. He'd rather have a fly, cause a fly zig-zags while my sandwich does not...unless I go like this [waves hand around]...If I want some honey on some toast I don't have to squeeze a plastic frog."
-Mitch Hedberg
...if there's a frog around, I don't have to hang my fucking sandwiches from a branch, he knows they are for me. He'd rather have a fly, cause a fly zig-zags while my sandwich does not...unless I go like this [waves hand around]...If I want some honey on some toast I don't have to squeeze a plastic frog."
-Mitch Hedberg