I've already decided to vote for you, Barack Obama, so stop stalking me!
Letters to various Presidential Candidates for those well-versed in facetious farces:
Dear Senator Obama:
Really, I appreciate the attention. It's flattering, it really is. But just because I think you would be a good leader of this country doesn't mean I welcome all the late-night phone calls. You're also there so often when I turn on the television that sometimes it feels like you're in right in the living room with me. I'm not trying to be rude, but I just feel like I need some "me time". I've already decided to vote for you, Barack Obama, so stop stalking me!
Sincerely,
Concerned Citizen
Dear Senator Clinton:
It was really so considerate of you to call me three times in a row yesterday. It made my day to know that you care so much. However, I don't think it would work out between us. It's not you, it's me, it really is. You are a very intelligent woman, and I think you would make a great president...but I'm young, and I'll admit, a bit idealistic, and you're just not what I'm looking for at this stage in my life. I see our lives departing on different paths, and I hope you will eventually forgive me for not returning your feelings.
Sincerely,
Apologetic Citizen
This is, in case you couldn't tell, my opinion of the political ads and telephone calls the candidates badger people with right before a primary. This silly train of thought started a couple of nights ago when I changed the channel to get away from the tenth Barack Obama commercial I'd seen that hour only to find myself in the middle of a Hillary commercial. I just couldn't get away from them! I then jokingly said to my friend that, with all of the close-ups they have of Barack Obama on his commercials, it feels like he's right in the room. I mean, I’d already decided to vote for him - I didn't need to see him looking presidential every five seconds to be reminded of it. Geeze.
Sincerely,
Frustrated Citizen