Summer, or lack thereof
So I am what could be considered moved in, thought my mom calls and asks about things she's been finding in my room on almost a daily basis. Mandi's here, and we are starting to get ourselves organized, but can't really do a schedule until I pass my tests and she gets into her school routine.
I am officially single, and still don't know what to do with myself. I saw him last night at the DCI show and he didn't acknowledge me, or anything: I wanted to deck him. And now I miss him and want to hug him. This sucks the big one. But every time I think about possibly taking interest in a guy, I either don't want to lose my freedom, or I don't want another guy than him (only god knows why.... with the habits and stuff).
I'm still not scoring high on my practice tests, and my car broke again. The stress that all of this is causing drove me to tears yesterday, just sheerly out of frustration and confusion... I feel lost now that I am fully independent but I am without my parents nearby to help, or without a significant other to lean on. Friends are friends, and I will always be greatfull for the lengths in which they will go for me, but we are all so spread out in Phoenix.
School is starting up soon, and most everyone will go back to Flagstaff. I have plans, and the days off, to come up for a 4 day weekend for homecoming, but if my car isn't fully fixed, and god forbid I don't pass my Series 6, I don't know what I'll do. I don't know what will happen with my living situation in a 12 month lease, I don't know what will happen with my credit cards that have my car problems charged to them.... my parents just had a yard sale and my mom is redecorating my old room so that my dad can start in on the other room for his trains.
I am so scared it's beyond imaginable.
I am officially single, and still don't know what to do with myself. I saw him last night at the DCI show and he didn't acknowledge me, or anything: I wanted to deck him. And now I miss him and want to hug him. This sucks the big one. But every time I think about possibly taking interest in a guy, I either don't want to lose my freedom, or I don't want another guy than him (only god knows why.... with the habits and stuff).
I'm still not scoring high on my practice tests, and my car broke again. The stress that all of this is causing drove me to tears yesterday, just sheerly out of frustration and confusion... I feel lost now that I am fully independent but I am without my parents nearby to help, or without a significant other to lean on. Friends are friends, and I will always be greatfull for the lengths in which they will go for me, but we are all so spread out in Phoenix.
School is starting up soon, and most everyone will go back to Flagstaff. I have plans, and the days off, to come up for a 4 day weekend for homecoming, but if my car isn't fully fixed, and god forbid I don't pass my Series 6, I don't know what I'll do. I don't know what will happen with my living situation in a 12 month lease, I don't know what will happen with my credit cards that have my car problems charged to them.... my parents just had a yard sale and my mom is redecorating my old room so that my dad can start in on the other room for his trains.
I am so scared it's beyond imaginable.