What? It's Valentine's Day?
Well this can be either the worst day in the world for you or the greatest of your life. Admist all the lovey dovey sappy romance is the grudging hate felt toward one day of the year. Why does this day have to be the day of love anyway? What makes this particular day more special than the day before or the day after? That's one thing that really bothers me. Now don't get me wrong, if I had a special someone this day would no doubt be extremely significant to me. But with or without a love, this day should not be the sole day for romance. And that is what angers me--guys choose this day to buy a girl flowers or some chocolate or a diamond ring--all in the hopes of expressing his love to her. Ladies, if a guy really loves you, he would be doing this kind of stuff all the time. He wouldn't just choose one day or two (anniversary) to show his love for you. It just makes me furious how shallow some people can be--I give her some candy and flowers, so it shows I love her. If you want to profess your love to her why not be ROMANTIC and not cliche. Pour out your heart onto a little piece of paper--put MEANING behind your little piece of chocolate or lovely rose. Compare her heart-warming smile to the sun, her gorgeous eyes to the stars, her precious heart to a captured star inside a priceless diamond, her true beauty as melting your very being, eyes watering and knees trembling.... Truly show her how much you love her by giving her your heart and all of its wonderful rapturing emotions.... And as you give her your pathetic chocolates and roses, hold her tightly in your arms as you tear up running your fingers through her lovely hair and whisper gently into her ear how much she truly means to you... Then take her hand and gently place it on your heart and let her know it beats solely for her, as it is solely hers.... That is how you can show someone special how you really feel, and that doesn't have to--shouldn't be--designated by one day of the year. I don't know why I am writing this--I guess I am just trying to prove to you ladies the fact that if a guy really holds you dear in his heart he will let you know it EVERYDAY--whether it be with a simple 'I love you' or a small kiss on the forehead or holding you closely in his arms or a surprising rose here and there--a man's love (believe it or not) is certainly not confined to a single day.... If a man truly loves you, feels completely whole with you, melts with just the glance of your breath-taking eyes, there is not a day he will let go by where he doesn't let you know how wonderful and meaningful you make his life....
Alas, with such a thought in mind I cannot help but feel an incredible dread happen upon my heart. It is times like these that allow this greatest fear deep within my soul to rear its ugly head... I should not feel as bad, however, for everybody shares this same fear, as it is the only rational fear.... I cannot help but wonder as I see all these people in love holding each other, kissing and hugging and whispering in each other's ears, that I will never be able to experience it again... I have always believed there is someone special for everybody in the world.... What if in fact that did not apply to me? What if in fact I never do find my true love? What if I never get to feel the rushing rapture of warmness within my soul again? What if I never get to tremble as my heart melts in her warming embrace.... what if I never get to cry as I perceive my soul deep within her beautiful eyes.... what if there were no gorgeous colors painting the sunset in the sky to experience wrapped up in her arms... no lovely stars to be hypnotized with, no moon to become entranced with, no times just to cuddle and sleep with her, just hear her breathe, breathe ever so softly the breath that allows me to breathe....
What if I never find love again? What if I am not meant to experience something as powerful, as rapturously consuming as this.... ever again?
The thought of this brings me to tears as my heart expresses its anxiety... How it crushes me so to imagine never experiencing such as this again... What of my dreams, my future, my life? All are nothing without her who so gives meaning to my life... I will effectively become a robot, devoid of all emotion because I was deprived of that which governs and controls all emotions.... I can only waste away and try to remember the forgotten dreams that were the sketch of my life, of who I might have been... God how painful it is just to imagine a life such as this... I beg of you as my heart cries out in wild abandon, please do not let me experience life like this... please allow ths pitiful soul to experience life to the fullest with one who will truly open up my heart and allow me to absolutely realize my dreams... please allow me to shed one more tear of joy as love fully and completely conquers my soul again... even if it is only for a fleeting moment right before my life ends.... At least let me cry myself into my sweet eternal sleep knowing deep in my soul that I didn't live my life in vain, that I actually experienced that feeling that defines us as humans, that indescribable fragile experience man will never be able to fully manifest, unravel and define....
Know this Love, as long as I take breath within my soul, hope will forever be instilled within me that I will uncover you....
Dum vita est, spes est