kill the lights, we can't go back
George Gray
I have studied many times
The marble which was chiseled for me--
A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor.
In truth it pictures not my destination
But my life.
For love was offered me and I shrank from its disillusionment;
Sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid;
Ambition called to me, but I dreaded the chances.
Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life.
And now I know that we must lift the sail
And catch the winds of destiny
Wherever they drive the boat.
To put meaning in one's life may end in madness,
But life without meaning is the torture
Of restlessness and vague desire;
It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid.
--Edgar Lee Masters (from The Spoon River Anthology)
Little over a year and a half ago, if I had died, this would have been me. This would have been ME.
Luckily, I met people and went places and had a whole lot of time to think about everything and myself and what I was doing here and what value really means, and what people really mean. To me.
This will never, ever, ever happen to me.