(no subject)
i can't sleep right now, and in my insomnia, realized that some information i might need could be in my sent mail folder.
So i'm looking through it... and i'm watching a relationship begin and then crash and burn, and can see where all of my failed attempts at rescuing it were... and simultaneously, i'm watching UU youth programming as I know it literally disappear and watching myself reaching out and flailing anywhere i could for some sense of UU community again, for anything like what i used to know and wanted to know and used to want to know.
and then all of a sudden a new relationship begins and the UU flailing stops... and it's not that those things are related, it's just that things turned up at that point.
for what it's worth, i didn't find what i was looking for.
in other news, i've recently gotten back in contact with a former teacher of mine (taught at fulton while i was there and is probably one of the people most responsible for me having not killed myself while i was there) and it's kind of surreal, because it doesn't really feel like
a) we hardly had any contact for five or six years and
b) she used to be my teacher. well, actually, not my teacher as much as the advisor person for my favorite extra-curricular. and who let me come and hang out with her in her room after school and lie to my parents about having academic pursuit stuff.
it's nice.
So i'm looking through it... and i'm watching a relationship begin and then crash and burn, and can see where all of my failed attempts at rescuing it were... and simultaneously, i'm watching UU youth programming as I know it literally disappear and watching myself reaching out and flailing anywhere i could for some sense of UU community again, for anything like what i used to know and wanted to know and used to want to know.
and then all of a sudden a new relationship begins and the UU flailing stops... and it's not that those things are related, it's just that things turned up at that point.
for what it's worth, i didn't find what i was looking for.
in other news, i've recently gotten back in contact with a former teacher of mine (taught at fulton while i was there and is probably one of the people most responsible for me having not killed myself while i was there) and it's kind of surreal, because it doesn't really feel like
a) we hardly had any contact for five or six years and
b) she used to be my teacher. well, actually, not my teacher as much as the advisor person for my favorite extra-curricular. and who let me come and hang out with her in her room after school and lie to my parents about having academic pursuit stuff.
it's nice.