life
hey everyone.
i haven't updated with much information about my life, and since i'm procrastinating a lot right now... er... i mean, taking a break from working on my take-home exam for class, status, and power, i thought i'd post an update.
lately, i've been... surviving. i've been really dysphoric lately, and it's not fun. i'd really appreciate it if i could just, you know, be trans and stick with that. or be cis. whatever. i don't really care at this point. my body image is also practically non-existant -- i just know that regardless of my gender identity, this is not what i want to look like.
i'm frustrated with a lot of people in united sexualities; i somehow ended up doing almost all of the planning for our drag show, since nobody else was stepping up for things. people also just weren't showing up for mandatory rehearsals... we didn't actually have a runthrough of the show until the show itself, which made certain technical aspects of the show challenging. like, you know, knowing what was going to happen. it also kept people from being able to have lighting more exciting than a white wash. (well, amber, technically. i gelled.)
i'm also trying to figure out what the fuck i want to do after i graduate -- i was thinking definitely grad school, but then i realized that i'm really burnt out on school, so maybe not. i've come to the conclusion that i'm going to apply to my top graduate programs (i'm thinking indiana, iowa, and maybe minnesota for history and boston and chicago for sociology. seminary is going on the back burner for now -- i've felt the call, but this isn't the right time to pick up the phone) and look around for some other volunteer-type opportunities. on the list right now are a few placements in (northern) ireland and germany through brethren volunteer service, and possibly a fulbright application to go and teach english in some random country. i'm also considering something like teach for america, but i'm unsure about how the teacher certification process would work with that. i wouldn't mind finding some serious way to do tech theatre, but with my limited experience (even when i graduate), i wouldn't really be able to get a job in the field. lots of places have civic theatres and other volunteer opportunities, though, and i'd be fine with that.
i've made the decision to quit choir next year. there's too much favoritism -- and not like there was in icc, where it was clear that patrick and i were leck's favorites (but it was also known that we had been around longer than anyone else and had earned it), but in the sense that it's having really negative effects on the way the director interacts with the choir... this huge divide has emerged between people who like this person and people who don't, with most of us on the latter side. besides, we aren't that good and i don't like most of the rep we're doing.
my relationship is going well. at least that much is the case. and i've been knitting a lot. i like knitting.
i haven't updated with much information about my life, and since i'm procrastinating a lot right now... er... i mean, taking a break from working on my take-home exam for class, status, and power, i thought i'd post an update.
lately, i've been... surviving. i've been really dysphoric lately, and it's not fun. i'd really appreciate it if i could just, you know, be trans and stick with that. or be cis. whatever. i don't really care at this point. my body image is also practically non-existant -- i just know that regardless of my gender identity, this is not what i want to look like.
i'm frustrated with a lot of people in united sexualities; i somehow ended up doing almost all of the planning for our drag show, since nobody else was stepping up for things. people also just weren't showing up for mandatory rehearsals... we didn't actually have a runthrough of the show until the show itself, which made certain technical aspects of the show challenging. like, you know, knowing what was going to happen. it also kept people from being able to have lighting more exciting than a white wash. (well, amber, technically. i gelled.)
i'm also trying to figure out what the fuck i want to do after i graduate -- i was thinking definitely grad school, but then i realized that i'm really burnt out on school, so maybe not. i've come to the conclusion that i'm going to apply to my top graduate programs (i'm thinking indiana, iowa, and maybe minnesota for history and boston and chicago for sociology. seminary is going on the back burner for now -- i've felt the call, but this isn't the right time to pick up the phone) and look around for some other volunteer-type opportunities. on the list right now are a few placements in (northern) ireland and germany through brethren volunteer service, and possibly a fulbright application to go and teach english in some random country. i'm also considering something like teach for america, but i'm unsure about how the teacher certification process would work with that. i wouldn't mind finding some serious way to do tech theatre, but with my limited experience (even when i graduate), i wouldn't really be able to get a job in the field. lots of places have civic theatres and other volunteer opportunities, though, and i'd be fine with that.
i've made the decision to quit choir next year. there's too much favoritism -- and not like there was in icc, where it was clear that patrick and i were leck's favorites (but it was also known that we had been around longer than anyone else and had earned it), but in the sense that it's having really negative effects on the way the director interacts with the choir... this huge divide has emerged between people who like this person and people who don't, with most of us on the latter side. besides, we aren't that good and i don't like most of the rep we're doing.
my relationship is going well. at least that much is the case. and i've been knitting a lot. i like knitting.