life lessons #1
dear self:
1. when putting gum behind your ear (yes i DO do that), DO. NOT. FORGET. IT. because 20 minutes later, when you finally do remember it, and you go to throw it away, half of it will come out. the other half will stay in your hair, and you'll have to wait until you get home to cut it out, hoping that your mom (who is sitting right next to you, btw) doesn't notice. because if she does notice, you're pretty sure she'll say something along the lines of "i told you so, stupidass".
2. there's a hot guy that works at Starbucks. you want to do many, many things with him. that's great, it really is. but honey, you're gonna have to work it a *little* harder to get more than ten fucking cents off those chocolate covered graham crackers that, although quite delicious, were so not your reason for going up there. and for god's sake, do not say "bye" to him. i am unsure why, but saying that made you sound like a bloody idiot.
love,
your inner voice.
PS: that guy in Circle K, even though he was pretty cute in that juvenile delinquent sort of way, was totes stealing something. stop trying to convince yourself the people around him were saying "just put it in your pocket!" for something other than that. the only reason thievery was not the first thing to come to your mind was because he was checking you out.
1. when putting gum behind your ear (yes i DO do that), DO. NOT. FORGET. IT. because 20 minutes later, when you finally do remember it, and you go to throw it away, half of it will come out. the other half will stay in your hair, and you'll have to wait until you get home to cut it out, hoping that your mom (who is sitting right next to you, btw) doesn't notice. because if she does notice, you're pretty sure she'll say something along the lines of "i told you so, stupidass".
2. there's a hot guy that works at Starbucks. you want to do many, many things with him. that's great, it really is. but honey, you're gonna have to work it a *little* harder to get more than ten fucking cents off those chocolate covered graham crackers that, although quite delicious, were so not your reason for going up there. and for god's sake, do not say "bye" to him. i am unsure why, but saying that made you sound like a bloody idiot.
love,
your inner voice.
PS: that guy in Circle K, even though he was pretty cute in that juvenile delinquent sort of way, was totes stealing something. stop trying to convince yourself the people around him were saying "just put it in your pocket!" for something other than that. the only reason thievery was not the first thing to come to your mind was because he was checking you out.