Use Your Head to Live With Heart*
*Today's Thought from the Tea, which, like so many of them could be an excellent Bruce/Tony (MCU) prompt.
Bit of a blip since I posted the Poll (which is still open if anyone else - theemdash, msmoat, starkandbanner, anyone - wants to give feedback) since my godmother chose to tell me (at my Mum's birthday party!) that I'm basically ruining her life and she should be travelling and visiting John in Aus and going on cruises, not being tied to looking after me. "It's no life for her." Disability, chronic pain, mental health problems, a medical inability to work, and needing a Carer when I'm only in my thirties, was, of course, a choice I made and the life I always wanted. I was forgetting that. :-/
The number of responses my friends, family and parents' friends have to my situation boggles me at times. There are people who think I'm "inspirational" (which in the context of disability generally, I find a little uncomfortable - and these people certainly don't see me during my lowest lows or worst pain days!) and people who think I'm basically swinging it and I could do XYZ if I wanted to and tried hard enough. This included the official fire marshal at work who while designing my evacuation plan said that she was sure if there was a bomb or fire I *would* be able to run out of One Canada Square (aka Canary Wharf Tower, the tallest building Britain, where I worked). I'm pretty sure if the DWP thought that I wouldn't be receiving Employment Support Allowance - Support Group benefits! I'm pretty sure if my parents thought I was swinging it *they* woul not be helping and supporting me the way they do. But some people still think it's fine to tell me that to my face. And there's the ever helpful and sympathetic, "Well, it's only pain, isn't it? You can ignore that."
ETA: And I forgot to say that on 27th January this year, I had another denervation/surgical procedure on my back, under Dr A. So at the moment (and on-going, God willing?) I'm more mobile and in less pain than I have been for months. Although it's still a question of good days and bad days and a handful of REALLY bad days, even the really bad days have not been as severe as some of the horrible days I had in December and January and the good days have been both *better* quality and higher in number. I have been able to reduce my opioid dose and get to leave the house on a number of occasions in February and March so far and I even did a little bit of the Spring Cleaning/going through piles of papers alongside Mum.
However, I don't think the procedure is *as* effective at reducing my pain as the steroid treatments have been; but the effects should last longer than the steroids and the whole idea is to get me off steroids before I start to accrue serious side effects from long term use. And I still can't get off the prescription pain meds. :(
Is that a Real Life post or a Rant?
It does bring me on to a bit of a fandom pet peeve from the MCU - between Tony's chest and Bucky's arm (and I'm sure Rhodey's legs will get there at some point) chronic pain is a bit of a topic in some fics. But I have yet to see a Doctor of Pain Medicine, or a Pain Management multi-disciplinary team, or a Doctor of Anaesthetics, or a neurologist or a Centre for Neuromodulation - or basically any medical pain specialists - involved in their treatment. I have seen several character-delivered sermons on not treating long-term pain with prescription meds, however. You can treat chronic pain due to nerve damage with herb tea and a heat pack and OTC anti-inflammatory gel. Maybe an asprin on a really bad day.
Apparently.
I wonder if the entire department at St Thomas's Hospital (including the surgeon who has now put six cautary leisions in my back) dedicated to the treatment and relief of chronic pain and neuropathy - or the one at Bart's Hospital, or the Bath Centre for Pain and Rheumatic Diseases, not to mention the similar departments worldwide - are aware of that?!
While I'm on the topic of Things That Annoy Me in Far-Too-Many MCU fics - am I the only person on the face of the earth who thinks that RDJ/Tony Stark is NOT THAT SHORT?? Okay, yeah, he's not 6'6". But according to the available evidence (and I know he wears lifts/stacked soles and even stacked *heels* sometimes, especially as Tony Stark in scenes with Steve Rogers or Pepper Potts) RDJ is more or less US male average height. He's not 5'6". Or under.
Jeremy Renner/Clint Barton is only an inch or two (less than an inch by some sources) taller than him. They are not Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond - if they are standing next to each other, specific-you, the only way Clint could put his chin on the top of Tony's head is if he stood on a step, or Tony ducked his head against Clint's chest or shoulder or something.
And RDJ is, as far as I can make out, slightly *taller* than Mark Ruffalo/Bruce Banner.
RDJ is not a teeny tiny little man. And, while he's not thickset and has a sort of dancer's build, I don't think you can look at his Tony Stark arms and call him delicate or petite or any of those other choice adjectives fan-writers do keep using. Is it all part of the woobyfied and often times *feminised* fanon!Tony that I hate with a burning passion? (Seriously, guys, parent-fic, without always-a-girl or MtF trans*Tony, or omegaverse; where Tony is referred to as the child's Mom and Mama by his male partner??!! Tony being Avenger's Team Mom while Steve is Team Dad??!! Do. Not. Want.)
Bit of a blip since I posted the Poll (which is still open if anyone else - theemdash, msmoat, starkandbanner, anyone - wants to give feedback) since my godmother chose to tell me (at my Mum's birthday party!) that I'm basically ruining her life and she should be travelling and visiting John in Aus and going on cruises, not being tied to looking after me. "It's no life for her." Disability, chronic pain, mental health problems, a medical inability to work, and needing a Carer when I'm only in my thirties, was, of course, a choice I made and the life I always wanted. I was forgetting that. :-/
The number of responses my friends, family and parents' friends have to my situation boggles me at times. There are people who think I'm "inspirational" (which in the context of disability generally, I find a little uncomfortable - and these people certainly don't see me during my lowest lows or worst pain days!) and people who think I'm basically swinging it and I could do XYZ if I wanted to and tried hard enough. This included the official fire marshal at work who while designing my evacuation plan said that she was sure if there was a bomb or fire I *would* be able to run out of One Canada Square (aka Canary Wharf Tower, the tallest building Britain, where I worked). I'm pretty sure if the DWP thought that I wouldn't be receiving Employment Support Allowance - Support Group benefits! I'm pretty sure if my parents thought I was swinging it *they* woul not be helping and supporting me the way they do. But some people still think it's fine to tell me that to my face. And there's the ever helpful and sympathetic, "Well, it's only pain, isn't it? You can ignore that."
ETA: And I forgot to say that on 27th January this year, I had another denervation/surgical procedure on my back, under Dr A. So at the moment (and on-going, God willing?) I'm more mobile and in less pain than I have been for months. Although it's still a question of good days and bad days and a handful of REALLY bad days, even the really bad days have not been as severe as some of the horrible days I had in December and January and the good days have been both *better* quality and higher in number. I have been able to reduce my opioid dose and get to leave the house on a number of occasions in February and March so far and I even did a little bit of the Spring Cleaning/going through piles of papers alongside Mum.
However, I don't think the procedure is *as* effective at reducing my pain as the steroid treatments have been; but the effects should last longer than the steroids and the whole idea is to get me off steroids before I start to accrue serious side effects from long term use. And I still can't get off the prescription pain meds. :(
Is that a Real Life post or a Rant?
It does bring me on to a bit of a fandom pet peeve from the MCU - between Tony's chest and Bucky's arm (and I'm sure Rhodey's legs will get there at some point) chronic pain is a bit of a topic in some fics. But I have yet to see a Doctor of Pain Medicine, or a Pain Management multi-disciplinary team, or a Doctor of Anaesthetics, or a neurologist or a Centre for Neuromodulation - or basically any medical pain specialists - involved in their treatment. I have seen several character-delivered sermons on not treating long-term pain with prescription meds, however. You can treat chronic pain due to nerve damage with herb tea and a heat pack and OTC anti-inflammatory gel. Maybe an asprin on a really bad day.
Apparently.
I wonder if the entire department at St Thomas's Hospital (including the surgeon who has now put six cautary leisions in my back) dedicated to the treatment and relief of chronic pain and neuropathy - or the one at Bart's Hospital, or the Bath Centre for Pain and Rheumatic Diseases, not to mention the similar departments worldwide - are aware of that?!
While I'm on the topic of Things That Annoy Me in Far-Too-Many MCU fics - am I the only person on the face of the earth who thinks that RDJ/Tony Stark is NOT THAT SHORT?? Okay, yeah, he's not 6'6". But according to the available evidence (and I know he wears lifts/stacked soles and even stacked *heels* sometimes, especially as Tony Stark in scenes with Steve Rogers or Pepper Potts) RDJ is more or less US male average height. He's not 5'6". Or under.
Jeremy Renner/Clint Barton is only an inch or two (less than an inch by some sources) taller than him. They are not Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond - if they are standing next to each other, specific-you, the only way Clint could put his chin on the top of Tony's head is if he stood on a step, or Tony ducked his head against Clint's chest or shoulder or something.
And RDJ is, as far as I can make out, slightly *taller* than Mark Ruffalo/Bruce Banner.
RDJ is not a teeny tiny little man. And, while he's not thickset and has a sort of dancer's build, I don't think you can look at his Tony Stark arms and call him delicate or petite or any of those other choice adjectives fan-writers do keep using. Is it all part of the woobyfied and often times *feminised* fanon!Tony that I hate with a burning passion? (Seriously, guys, parent-fic, without always-a-girl or MtF trans*Tony, or omegaverse; where Tony is referred to as the child's Mom and Mama by his male partner??!! Tony being Avenger's Team Mom while Steve is Team Dad??!! Do. Not. Want.)