State of the Nate address
In short, I'm pissed. I spent the last three months mourning the loss of something I held dear but, as is always the case with me, I've grown to despise what has caused me so much grief and emotional pain. That occurs naturally but it also doesn't help that I have to sit and conjure up images of her in bed with someone else or entertain theories like the fact that I now believe I was really dumped FOR him. Doesn't matter if it's true. True or not, I was discarded and she's not taking me back so I'm free to weave any thoughts or opinions I want in order to help me out. What does she care? Allllll we shared and the fact we were a huge portion of each others' lives was killed for someone else so why would my potentially false suspicions matter when she has someone new to obsess over? (I also hate ending sentences in prepositions) She wasn't just someone whose company I could enjoy or I loved. There are many people that hold that position in my mind but she was much more.. but noooo... just throw me away because this new guy is so nice.
Ok so I'm being mean.. I'm mad. I feel slighted and cast aside and that angers me. It's hard reasoning with emotions, though.. especially with someone who's emotionless toward you. She probably still reads this page even though I asked her not to. She'll probably get mad upon reading this but, you know, she got mad at everything I ever said. I could tell her I missed her and she'd get pissy and inform me that I meant something negative by that, get really bent out of shape and then run off to tell her friends or future-boyfriend about it to make me sound like a jerk. Of course, she would deny that because she doesn't know that she's not the only person I speak to out there and know more than she realizes...
Ok so the state of my life. There is officially nothing left to pack except things I use daily. I spent a couple of days this weekend making sure that was the case. All that's left are a few larger items I'd like to sell, my furniture (half of which I'm discarding) and my everyday items like kitchenware, bathroom items and my computer. I even threw out half of my clothing. Today, I'm beginning my search for a suitable storage unit where I can pack away my furniture and my boxes of items I'm not going to be taking with me initially. I'll just pay 6 months in advance and hope I have enough space and money to move those items via UHaul truck to PA by the end of those 6 months. The rest will be pared down to just a handful of boxes full of things I'd need to take with me along with my clothing. I figure if I start moving my furniture out over the next week or so, that will keep me encouraged (ie: "Well I just paid $400 for this storage unit and don't even have a chair to sit on so I may as well finish packing and leave"). Repairs have begun on my motorcycle and I have multiple people who want to purchase that from me when I get it back. Things are looking up, I suppose.
Anyone want a 1995 BMW M3?
I've also started cutting my diet and exercising regularly, as mentioned in another entry. I figure I should lose 10-15lbs again. Maybe it'll help the depression. Who knows? At least I should be a bit healthier if I get off my butt more often. Anyway, no matter what lie some girl may say to you through her teeth, someone in decent shape is more attractive than a sedentary, flabby pig.
I'm sick of photography. I'm camera'd out. I'm out of ideas and out of creativity. I need a new hobby for a while.
At least I have a new friend here who has been a help through all this nonsense. I also discovered that my cat, Snickers, will lift his back foot up, wiggle it and use it to try and scratch at the air if you scratch under his chin (just like dogs do). He's always good for a laugh.
Ok so I'm being mean.. I'm mad. I feel slighted and cast aside and that angers me. It's hard reasoning with emotions, though.. especially with someone who's emotionless toward you. She probably still reads this page even though I asked her not to. She'll probably get mad upon reading this but, you know, she got mad at everything I ever said. I could tell her I missed her and she'd get pissy and inform me that I meant something negative by that, get really bent out of shape and then run off to tell her friends or future-boyfriend about it to make me sound like a jerk. Of course, she would deny that because she doesn't know that she's not the only person I speak to out there and know more than she realizes...
Ok so the state of my life. There is officially nothing left to pack except things I use daily. I spent a couple of days this weekend making sure that was the case. All that's left are a few larger items I'd like to sell, my furniture (half of which I'm discarding) and my everyday items like kitchenware, bathroom items and my computer. I even threw out half of my clothing. Today, I'm beginning my search for a suitable storage unit where I can pack away my furniture and my boxes of items I'm not going to be taking with me initially. I'll just pay 6 months in advance and hope I have enough space and money to move those items via UHaul truck to PA by the end of those 6 months. The rest will be pared down to just a handful of boxes full of things I'd need to take with me along with my clothing. I figure if I start moving my furniture out over the next week or so, that will keep me encouraged (ie: "Well I just paid $400 for this storage unit and don't even have a chair to sit on so I may as well finish packing and leave"). Repairs have begun on my motorcycle and I have multiple people who want to purchase that from me when I get it back. Things are looking up, I suppose.
Anyone want a 1995 BMW M3?
I've also started cutting my diet and exercising regularly, as mentioned in another entry. I figure I should lose 10-15lbs again. Maybe it'll help the depression. Who knows? At least I should be a bit healthier if I get off my butt more often. Anyway, no matter what lie some girl may say to you through her teeth, someone in decent shape is more attractive than a sedentary, flabby pig.
I'm sick of photography. I'm camera'd out. I'm out of ideas and out of creativity. I need a new hobby for a while.
At least I have a new friend here who has been a help through all this nonsense. I also discovered that my cat, Snickers, will lift his back foot up, wiggle it and use it to try and scratch at the air if you scratch under his chin (just like dogs do). He's always good for a laugh.