My very favorite quotes from Multiplicity
Doug #4: "I want pizza. Get me some pizza."
Doug #4: "Did you bring me a monkey?"
Doug #4: "She touched my peppy, Steve."
Doug: "Did you sleep with my wife?"
Doug #3: "Hey, let's have some rice cakes and tea."
Doug: "Did you?!"
Doug #3: "I'm sorry, Doug. She's a powerful woman."
Doug #2: "Hey, hey, hey, take it easy! Take it easy. She thought he was you."
Doug #3: "She did, Doug."
Doug #2: "The fact is, she thought I was you, too."
Doug: "What?"
Doug #2: "Hey, we're not perfect."
Doug #4: "Yeah, we're not perfect."
Doug: "Hey, don't worry about it. I'm tellin' you, we'll clean some stuff outta here. We'll put some rugs down, get a TV, stereo. It's a... It could be a cool place."
Doug #2: "Hey, hey, hey! You know what we oughta get? We oughta get one of those satellite dishes. You know? Get every sport going, get all the movies."
Doug: "I... I don't know about that."
Doug #2: "I... I... What is that?"
Doug: "I don't know if Laura is gonna go for that."
Doug #2: "Oh, I knew it, man. You're whipped."
Doug: "What are you talking about, whipped? I'm not whipped."
Doug #2: "Yeah, yeah. You're whipped, partner."
Doug: "I'm not whipped."
Doug #2: "(he makes whipped sound)"
Doug: "Hello."
Doug #2: "Hey, you gotta pick up the kids and, uh, wash their hair, and take 'em to a dance and get a picture of 'em."
Doug: "Ho, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I was just teeing off here."
Doug #2: "Not today, pal. See you later."
Doug #2: "Hey, what do you think, I'm a genie? You think you rub the little lamp and I just pop out and do what you want me to do?"
Doug: "What? You never seen a guy wash another guy's face before?"
Doug #2: "Are you nuts? Ah, ma... Are you mentally nuts?"
Doug: "I've been working since I was 12 years old. It's break time."
Doug #2: "I stopped down to pick up my dinner like I always do. She offered to, uh, you know, nuke my corndog. What ami I gonna say? No?"
Doug: "I'll hit you so hard, I'll kill him."
Doug: "One... Two... Three... Four?"
Doug #4: "Twelve!"
Doug #3: "Doug, I'd like you to meet Four."
Doug #4: "I got a wallet. That guy gave it to me. I'm gonna drive a car."
Doug #3: "We made a copy of Two. And you know how, sometimes, when you make a copy of a copy and it's not quite as sharp as, well, the original."
Doug: "Rule number two. First of all, we all remember rule number one."
Doug #2 and #3: "No sleeping with your wife."
Doug #3: "It's in here. I got it."
Doug: "Alright, that's important. Rule number two. No more Dougs. That's it."
Doug #2: "Alright."
Doug #3: "This is plenty."
Doug: "I'm gonna call Leeds first thing in the morning. We're out of the Doug-making business altogether. Alright? Store's closed. Am I clear?"
Doug #2: "Yeah."
Doug: "Am I clear on this?"
Doug #2: "Got it."
Doug #3: "Book is closed on that one."
Doug #4: "I like pizza. I like it!"
Doug #4: "Bye, Steve. Good party."
Doug #4: "I like Steve."
Doug: "I've gotta go away for a couple days."
Doug #3: "Really"
Doug: "Yeah, it's a business trip."
Doug #2: "Business trip?"
Doug #4: "Business trip. Hi, Steve."
Doug #2: "I handle the business."
Doug #4: "Yeah, he handles the business, Steve."
Doug: "I need you to cover for me days and nights."
Doug #2: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, woah."
Doug #4: "Whoa!"
Doug #2: "Nights? What about rule number one?"
Doug #4: "Yeah, what about rule number one, Stevie? What's rule number one?"
Doug #2: "Hey, uh, Rain Man. Run back in there and floss yourself, buddy, alright?"
Doug #4: "Yeah. (runs into the doorjam)"
Doug: "Is he safe with that razor? I mean..."
Doug #3: "Yeah, we take the blade out. Two and I shave him at night while he's sleeping."
Doug #2: "Hey, Mr. Wizard. Who ate all the bologna?"
Doug #4: "Burglars."
Doug #2: "What'd you do, eat everything in the house?"
Doug #4: "Count Chocula?"
Doug #2: "Sorry about yelling with the kids and everyting, Honey!"
Doug: "What if Laura walks in?"
Doug #2: "Not much chance of that, sport."
Doug #4: "Yeah, not too much chance of that, Rick."
Doug #3: "There's something else I think you should, uh. you should know."
Doug: "What?"
Doug #3: "Well, uh, it's about rule number one."
Doug: "What about rule number one?"
Doug #3: "Well, crazy thing. We had to bend it a little."
Doug #2: "Yeah, I'd say we, uh, bent it a lot. Damn near broke the thing off."
Doug #2: "We didn't destroy your life, slick. You did. A matter of fact, we were trying to save it for you. We were doing pretty good, too. We just had one bad day, one really bad day."
Doug: "Why did she leave?"
Doug #4: "You don't fix stuff."
Doug: "What?"
Doug #4: "You always say you're gonna fix stuff, and then you don't fix stuff."
Doug: "Did Laura say that?"
Doug #4: "Maybe."
Doug: "Did... did you talk to Laura before she left?"
Doug #4: "Maybe. I don't remember."
Doug: "Maybe this will refresh your memory. (Pours him some mere Coke.)"
Doug: "Where do you put all that stuff?"
Doug: "Did you? Come on, talk to me. Did she tell you something?"
Doug #4: "She talk to me a lot."
Doug: "Hey, I'm gonna buy you a present for this."
Doug #4: "A chainsaw?"
Doug: "Or a book. Something. Something really nice."
Doug #4: "Hey, Doug, come on up. I'm spittin' on bugs."
Doug: "Hoy. you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking of starting my own contracting business. What do you think? You see, that way, I could, you know, set my own hours and kinda pace myself. I mean, I don't wanna do anything big. I'm gonna start off with, uh, you know, small jobs: bird houses and, you know, mailboxes. Stuff like that."
Doug #4: "Yeah, hey, we're gonna eat a dolphin!"
Doug #2: "Hey, Lenny, you're not gonna eat a dolphin, Pal. You're gonna pet one."
Doug #4: "Oh, yeah, that's right, we're gonna... we're gonna pet one. We're gonna pet a dolphin."
Doug #4: "See ya, Steve."
Doug #4: "Hey, here's your pizza
Doug #3 (Michael Keaton): "Wow, that's a lot of ribs. What is that, like a slab or something?"
Doug: "What do you mean, 'she wanted to go to bed'? What do you mean?"
Doug #3: "What do you mean' 'what do I mean'? I just..."
Doug: "You know what I mean!"
Doug #2: "What do you mean?"
Doug: "Did you have sex with my wife?"
Doug #2: "Whoa! Did you?"
Doug #3: "No! Douglas, no, I certainly did not! Look, here was the plan: I thought, we'll go to bed together, which we did. And when she'd fall asleep, I'd sneak out. But I guess I dozed off and nothing happened, Doug. That's it."
Doug: "Nothin' happened?"
Doug #3: "She did, I think, roll over and kind of brushed me in that general region."
Doug: "Brushed you?"
Doug #3: "But I didn't do... I mamboed out of there, Doug!"
Doug: "Brushed you in the general region? She shouldn't even be in the neighborhood!"
Doug #2: "Doug, he mamboed out. Right out of the region."
Doug: "This is the number one rule. Okay? This is unbreakable. You can't even try to even bend this rule. Alright? Nobody, Nobody has sex with my wife but me."
Doug #2: "Hey, talk to him."
Doug #3: "Fabulous rule, Doug. Fabulous rule."
Doug: "Nobody. No clone nooky."
Doug #3: "You're the man, Doug."
Doug #2: "Great idea."
Doug: "Original nooky only. Got it?"
Doug #3: "Your department."
Doug: "You're clear on the rule, right?"
Doug #3: "Yes, sir. Yes you are. Yes you are."
Doug #2: "Got you, loud and clear."
Doug #3: "It's locked in here."
Doug #2: "Heh, heh, heh, heh, the mambo king."