Clarification...
Yeah, just want to clarify: the fandom bullies have not driven me away. If anything, I hung in as long as I did because I didn't want them to win. To be honest, what's driven me away is my inability to deal with the discrepancy between what's actually happening and what I WISH were actually happening. No, this is not me simply being butthurt that the boys aren't together. I am fully aware that they never have been nor ever will be together. However, current circumstances are making it harder and harder to keep the fantasy alive, and it's just not fun for me anymore. The healthiest thing for me is to just let go.
I might come back eventually. If by the time Adam's next tour happens, I've gained some emotional distance and strength, I may dip my toes back in. I still love the boys dearly. I think they're wonderful people. However, the only way for me to heal is to stay as far away from them as possible until I'm able to be a fan without being bothered by the stuff that I'm currently unable to deal with. The fact that I still love them so much is what's going to make it hardest for me to move on from this, which is why I basically have to cut them out.
Another reason I've avoided doing this for so long was the fear it would mean cutting friends out of my life as well. But I know it won't, because all those of you with whom I've bonded are not ONLY in the friendship for the fandom. And I think that if I stick to my DMs and @replies on Twitter, I'll be able to move on without cutting anyone out.
Anyway, I love you guys SO much. Thank you for being here for me. <3
I might come back eventually. If by the time Adam's next tour happens, I've gained some emotional distance and strength, I may dip my toes back in. I still love the boys dearly. I think they're wonderful people. However, the only way for me to heal is to stay as far away from them as possible until I'm able to be a fan without being bothered by the stuff that I'm currently unable to deal with. The fact that I still love them so much is what's going to make it hardest for me to move on from this, which is why I basically have to cut them out.
Another reason I've avoided doing this for so long was the fear it would mean cutting friends out of my life as well. But I know it won't, because all those of you with whom I've bonded are not ONLY in the friendship for the fandom. And I think that if I stick to my DMs and @replies on Twitter, I'll be able to move on without cutting anyone out.
Anyway, I love you guys SO much. Thank you for being here for me. <3