Fic: The Game We Must Play (Remus/Sirius, PG)
Title: The Game We Must Play
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Word Count: ~ 3700
Summary: Some friendships are strong enough to bridge worlds. Some friendships mean everything even if they cannot last forever.
Notes: Thank you to my beta, pavlablack. You're a star!
I had the ambition to learn how to play chess much better than I am able to and make this a very clever chess story. Well, that didn't happen. Inspiration was found in the prompt (#24) as well as Jostein Gaarder's Solitaire Mystery (even if that isn’t terribly apparent).
I am as intrigued by Sirius's world as Remus is, and I hope you enjoy it as well.
The Game We Must Play
Check
"I don't know how you do it, Remus," says Kingsley as he positions his pieces on the chessboard. "I mean, these are difficult times, but you've lost him before. To lose him again after such a short time - " Kingsley stopped abruptly.
Remus doesn't reply, doesn't know how he could reply. With Sirius gone, he feels empty. There are no words. He also feels selfish because he's known from the very beginning, from before they met on the Hogwarts Express, that Sirius would never truly be his. That he would never be able to stay. Still, he wishes that someone, just one other person, could understand how torn apart he is by Sirius's death.
Kingsley hesitantly reaches out and covers Remus's hand with his. "I truly am very sorry. If there's anything I can do for you, anything at all …" His voice dwindles away.
"Let me tell you a story," Remus replies and levitates the chessboard to the dining table. "It's a long story and some days I don't know - don't remember - how much of it is true. I've never told anyone before."
Kingsley nods and with a wave of his wand refills their tumblers of Firewhiskey.
White
Black
"White moves first," says Grandpa and turns the board. Remus hesitates, then moves one of the little white pawns two squares towards his black opponents. Grandpa has told him pawns are called peasants in Germany, and Remus imagines a peasant walking through his fields and checking on the harvest. The little pawn looks back and sees his home, and far, far back at the horizon the castle where the king and queen live.
Sirius walked among the turnips, his father pointing out the rows that would need to be taken care of first, the plants that had withered and died because they'd caught the rot. His father looked solemn when he talked about the border, which was nothing more than a row of gnarled hedges.
Sirius caught a glimpse of someone through the bushes. "One of the white ones," murmured his father darkly. "You will be protecting us, son. One day you will be a famous knight and will protect commoners like your father."
Remus likes the knight best. Grandpa says he's useful but prefers the rook. Remus's pawns cower when the knight's charger jumps over their heads.
Tonight was the first night that Sirius was allowed to join the other knights and squires on one of their mysterious quests. Sir Burdock had taken him aside earlier today and whispered, "You will join me tonight. I want you to be quiet, to watch and to learn. And to do as I tell you, no matter what happens." Sirius had nodded, his eyes wide and his mind full of the great adventures that he would now be part of.
Remus moves his king sideways, lets the rook jump over - no, no one jumps over his king, do they? - lets the rook pass his king. He grins at Grandpa, who inclines his head in praise.
That night, before he drifts off to sleep, Remus looks over to the chessboard on the table by the window. Moonlight illuminates the unfinished game; the pieces cast long shadows across the board, white almost blinding him while black is hidden in the dusky darkness. As Remus's eyes drift closed, he senses movement among the pieces. Must be the light, his sleepy brain determines.
He has a strange dream that night. There are people moving on the chessboard. He’s had chess dreams before, dreams in which the chess pieces came alive. This time, though, it is not the pieces that move - instead, there are little people moving among the chess pieces!
"Whatever you do, whatever you see," warned Sir Burdock, "do not make a sound! There will be time to talk about what you see later." Sirius frowned, and Sir Burdock added, "I would like to tell you more but I am not allowed. Nobody is ever told anything before they go out for the first time. You have to see to believe, Sirius, and I think you are ready to believe what you will see." He left it at that, and Sirius was more confused than ever.
The bridge was drawn up, and the castle was sleeping. Here and there a few night owls were reading by candlelight, but for the most part the castle was enveloped in darkness. Sirius hastened after his master, grateful for the leather-soled shoes he’d given him. He caught glimpses of others, pairs of knights and squires, knights by themselves, and mysterious cloaked people whose faces were hidden under their hoods. They did not leave the castle through any of the gates, nor was there a secret passageway as Sirius had imagined. Instead, Sir Burdock pointed to a blank stretch of wall and told him to walk through it. Sirius turned around and glared at his master, wondering if this was all some nasty old joke. Around him people started moving. By the time Sirius turned around, they were gone. Sirius looked left and right, but there was no one. They were simply gone. But how? He felt Sir Burdock's hand on his shoulder. "We need to hurry. If you're nervous, try to do it at a bit of a run. I'll be right behind you." Sirius nodded, though he pictured himself running headlong into the wall. One deep breath later, he was running, the wall was coming close, closer. He could see the lichen and moss now. Any second now he would painfully collide with the rough stone. Sirius squeezed his eyes close and braced himself. He was running too fast now; there would be no stopping in time. And so he kept running, blindly. Any second now.
Around him the air shifted. It was warmer and there was no longer a breeze. Sirius opened his eyes and stumbled to a halt. He was looking at a room full of large stone statues. The floor beneath him was smooth marble in huge squares of black and white. One of the cloaked men was crouching behind a larger-than-life statue of a horse. He lifted his arm and his index finger disappeared into the shadows of his hood from which a quiet "Shhh" sounded. Sirius almost jumped out of his skin when his master whispered, "Well done" from behind him. Sirius had so many questions but didn't know which one to pose first. Then he remembered - be quiet, watch, learn - and so he followed his master.
The next evening, just before his eyelids droop, Remus sees something move on the chessboard again. Are there doxies in the curtains? Do doxies walk? Remus thinks he sees a little person move around one of the rooks. He narrows his eyes. A small hand reaches down from the black knight and pulls the wee whatever-it-is up onto the horse's back. From where he lies, Remus can't make out any distinct features. He wills himself to get up and have a look but falls asleep before he even moves his head an inch. The next morning he isn't sure if he dreamt it or not, but there are certainly no doxy droppings beneath the curtains.
"You have to be more careful, Sirius," Sir Burdock scolded his disciple. Sirius was no longer just a squire; he was now Burdock's apprentice to become one of the Blacks, a secret organisation that was so secret that Sirius still wasn't quite sure what exactly it was they did. "It's not just the Whites that you have to watch. There are others. Some call them the Game Lords, others simply the big ones. Some go as far as to call them gods. They cannot know about us, Sirius. Whatever happens, they must not see us!"
Sirius nodded, though he couldn't imagine that the god, if that's what he was, was really that dangerous. With his striped shirt he had looked like a huge version of one of the jester at court. Sirius knew the big one had seen him but hadn’t even moved. Sirius knew he needed to be more careful, but what if that giant really was a god, what if he could talk to him? A god had to know things, things that could be useful for the Blacks. Sirius wanted to be one of the great Blacks, cloaked, mysterious and powerful; he'd do everything to be one of them.
Remus moves the chess board to his bedside table and lies down. A lone candle flickers next to the chessboard. Remus lies still and waits. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, small people appear on the board. Some are cloaked and melt into the shadows almost as soon as they arrive, becoming indistinguishable from the chess figures. Then there are pairs of knights and squires - they look very much like those in the old paintings in Grandpa's house. The chess pieces are huge compared to the little people, and Remus tries to imagine what it must feel like to walk through a labyrinth of large statues. Spooky, he thinks. They must hardly be able to see with only the candle to illuminate the board. Slowly and carefully Remus picks up the candle holder to move it closer. He has no idea what the little people are doing and why they are there in the first place, but he might as well help them with a little light. And he wants to see.
Something was different tonight. Sirius couldn't quite pinpoint it, then realised it was the light. There was a bright ball of fire in the sky rather than the soft silver light he was used to. It was easier to navigate the shadows, however. Something drew Sirius's attention back to the light. It was hard to see beyond the brightness but he was sure he saw eyes - huge eyes, and they were watching him.
He looked around to catch Master Burdock's attention when all of a sudden the shadow that hid him disappeared. One of the Whites saw him and came running towards him with his sword drawn. Sirius wanted to run but couldn't move. He could only stare at the sword, light glinting on the polished steel. A High Master detached himself from the statue to his left and pushed Sirius behind his back. Sirius peered out from behind the High Master. He was eager to see some magic and completely forgot that only seconds earlier he had almost been skewered. The High Master sent a black ball of magic toward the white knight, who dropped as if someone had cut a puppet's strings. A shiver ran down Sirius's back, but he could not tear his eyes off the crumpled heap that had been a man just seconds before.
Distantly, he heard the High Master hiss a disdainful "Can't you look after your boy?" Sirius's attention was captured by the face next to the ball of fire in the sky. A boy's face with round, curious eyes. A gigantic face. Around him people retreated. Sirius felt someone pull at his hand. Master Burdock. He allowed himself to be dragged towards the gate but not without capturing the boy's eyes over his shoulder.
"No, wait! Don't go!" Remus shouts as he sees the little black and white people scurry toward their respective sides of the board. One by one they disappear. Why did he have to move that candle? He almost got one of them killed. Remus tries to find him again and their eyes lock as the other is dragged away by a grumpy-looking knight.
Master Burdock was so angry with him. No matter how often Sirius tried to explain that it wasn't his fault, that he had been hiding well, that it had been the boy who'd moved the light, Burdock would not listen. He got especially angry when Sirius talked about the boy. "You're a boy, the other squires are boys, I was once a boy, but that - that big one, whatever he is, he is not a boy and you will stay away from him, do you hear me?"
"But-" Sirius started.
"Enough!" roared Master Burdock. "No more quests for you until you've seen sense. And no argument," he added when he saw Sirius open his mouth to retort.
Sirius had sulkily ignored his master when he left that night. Hours later - Sirius was unable to fall asleep - he could hear people move in the street below. He waited for the front door to open, for his master to return home. Sirius lay awake all night but no one came home. The next day some peasants found Sir Burdock in a field close to the border, n arrow with white fletching stuck in his neck.
Sirius willed himself to be saddened by the death of the man who had taken him in when he had lost his family. But all he could focus on was that without a master, he would never have the chance to become a full member of the Blacks.
Ever since the night that he almost caused the death of one of the little people, Remus has become more careful when watching the board. He peers out from behind his pillow and makes sure not to move. He lies and watches. Every night the chessboard comes alive, and what is just a game during the day becomes war at night. Remus looks for the young man but doesn't see him again.
"You will come with me. You will watch, and you will learn," the High Master said as soon as he crossed the threshold. He pushed a piece of cloth into Sirius's arms. "Wear this and make sure no one sees your face."
Sirius looked at the cloak in his arms, then asked in confusion, "Who are you?"
"I am your new master, Sirius."
"But High Masters don't have apprentices," Sirius objected.
"There is much you don't know, young Sirius, but you will in time. You will know more than you ask for, much more." When Sirius stared at him with his mouth hanging open, he added, "Put on your cloak. It's time to leave."
Though Remus has given up hope that he will see the other boy ever again, he can't bring himself to stop watching the nightly action on the board. The fighting is becoming more intense every night, and often there are several wounded or even dead before Remus falls asleep.
It takes him several nights to realise that one of the cloaked figures - leaders, as Remus has deduced - is shadowed by one of the squires. The squire is wearing a cloak himself but his size tells Remus that he is just a boy. Intrigued, Remus observes the two of them.
Remus can see the cloaked boy hiding behind the black knight. He doesn't move, doesn't take part in the action, just stands there and looks the other way in Remus's direction.
It took Sirius several nights to will himself to do as he had been told. He watched the giant boy watch him, but couldn't bring himself to show his face and talk to him. His master didn't urge him, just kept repeating that Sirius knew what his task was.
Tonight was going to be the night. Sirus took up his customary position, saw the giant watch him. He took a deep breath, then lowered his hood.
"It's you!" Remus exclaims. "I thought you were gone for good. Wasn't sure if you were one of the - one of the dead ones."
Sirius didn't know why it had taken him so long to approach Remus, as he had learned the giant boy was called. He was friendly and fun and eager to tell Sirius about his world. Sirius's master was pleased with his progress and promised to send Sirius on an important mission very soon.
"I wish you were here for real." Sirius looks at him questioningly, and Remus adds, "You know what I mean, here with me and all the time, not just at night."
Sirius's Master took him aside. "The High Masters are very pleased with you, Sirius."
Sirius grinned in reply.
"We all agree that you will make a fine High Master one day."
Sirius had the grace to blush at such praise.
"Would you like that?"
"Yes, Master, very much," Sirius replied eagerly. The Blacks were his family. He wouldn't have known Remus without them. There was no other path Sirius could imagine.
"Are you prepared to endure sacrifices for that privilege?"
Sirius nodded. Anything, he thought.
"We will send you to the other world to live among the Game Lords -"
"You mean I get to meet Remus?"
"Yes, you will."
"Brilliant!"
"You are young and eager. That is good. You may not understand what I am about to tell you, but remember my words: You will lose everything, not only once but several times. You will endure more than you can imagine. Oh, you'll be happy, I have no doubt, but to you everything will always be temporary. Until you pass the test and come back as High Master. Until you become one of us. Is this what you want, Sirius? Think carefully."
Sirius was going to meet Remus and he would become a High Master. His Master's words left a niggling bad feeling at the back of his mind, but he ignored it as he replied, "Yes, that's what I want!"
Remus can't for the life of him find one of his black knights. Father tells him that they have wizard chess at Hogwarts and that you only need to tell your pieces where to move and they listen to you - most of the time anyway. He has given him his old set in a battered wooden box. The box is already stored in Remus's trunk, but he knows he cannot leave Sirius behind for a whole year. He turns his room upside down, but the knight does not reappear. It's Sirius's statue, not just a chess piece. His mother finds him as he sits crying on his bed and promises to send the piece to Hogwarts when she finds it.
Sirius saw the boy as soon as he reached Platform 9 ¾ but ignored him. His mother would want to know how he knew the brown-haired boy whose mother was clearly a Muggle, so he waited until he boarded the train. He quickly waved his family goodbye and went to look for the other boy. His hand slipped into his trouser pocket where it found the small black horse figurine.
"Can I sit with you?" Remus asks timidly as he enters a compartment already occupied by two boys.
The one with the glasses replies, "Sure. Come in."
Remus complies and sits down opposite a chubby boy with a pointed, rat-like face. "Hi, I'm Peter," the boy greets him, then continues, "This is James and there's another boy, Sirius, but he's gone out to look for someone."
"Sirius?" whispers Remus.
"Yes, do you know him?"
At that moment, the door slides open. Remus stares at the black-haired boy who enters the compartment. It can't be. All those nights of wishing that Sirius could be real - and now here he stands.
"Sirius?" Remus asks again and almost reaches out to touch him, to see if he really is there in the flesh.
"I've got something for you," Sirius said without preamble and pulled the black knight out of his pocket. "Thought you might need it."
Slowly, Remus reaches out, afraid that Sirius will disappear the moment he gets near him. He holds out his hand and Sirius carefully lays the knight down on his palm. His fingertips linger and he is still there and warm and real. Remus smiles.
Remus was warm and soft and there. Sirius didn't want to let go of his hand. Somewhere at the back of his mind a question formed: How long exactly is temporary?
Stalemate
Remus stops abruptly and stares into the fireplace behind Kingsley.
"I - I don't know what to say, Remus," Kingsley ventures carefully.
"You don't believe me, do you?"
Kingsley looks at him with earnest concern. "He's gone, Remus. Let go of him."
Remus looks over to the chessboard, blinking away the tears.
"Is that the board?" Kingsley asks carefully.
"What? Oh, no. My board's at Grimmauld Place. I just have to get it."
Remus feels a childlike, giddy excitement at the thought of watching the little figures move around the board again, Sirius alive and a High Master. But there has been no movement among the chess pieces for years, not since Lily and James died. When Sirius was first taken to Azkaban, Remus held a nightly vigil by the board, but nothing happened. Not once. Not a single little person peered out from behind a chess piece.
Remus gratefully accepts the Firewhiskey that Kingsley holds out and wills himself to forget the chessboard. He can't risk seeing nothing.
This entry was originally posted at http://nathaniel-hp.dreamwidth.org/178642.html. Comments are welcome either here or over at DW.
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Word Count: ~ 3700
Summary: Some friendships are strong enough to bridge worlds. Some friendships mean everything even if they cannot last forever.
Notes: Thank you to my beta, pavlablack. You're a star!
I had the ambition to learn how to play chess much better than I am able to and make this a very clever chess story. Well, that didn't happen. Inspiration was found in the prompt (#24) as well as Jostein Gaarder's Solitaire Mystery (even if that isn’t terribly apparent).
I am as intrigued by Sirius's world as Remus is, and I hope you enjoy it as well.
The Game We Must Play
Check
"I don't know how you do it, Remus," says Kingsley as he positions his pieces on the chessboard. "I mean, these are difficult times, but you've lost him before. To lose him again after such a short time - " Kingsley stopped abruptly.
Remus doesn't reply, doesn't know how he could reply. With Sirius gone, he feels empty. There are no words. He also feels selfish because he's known from the very beginning, from before they met on the Hogwarts Express, that Sirius would never truly be his. That he would never be able to stay. Still, he wishes that someone, just one other person, could understand how torn apart he is by Sirius's death.
Kingsley hesitantly reaches out and covers Remus's hand with his. "I truly am very sorry. If there's anything I can do for you, anything at all …" His voice dwindles away.
"Let me tell you a story," Remus replies and levitates the chessboard to the dining table. "It's a long story and some days I don't know - don't remember - how much of it is true. I've never told anyone before."
Kingsley nods and with a wave of his wand refills their tumblers of Firewhiskey.
White
Black
"White moves first," says Grandpa and turns the board. Remus hesitates, then moves one of the little white pawns two squares towards his black opponents. Grandpa has told him pawns are called peasants in Germany, and Remus imagines a peasant walking through his fields and checking on the harvest. The little pawn looks back and sees his home, and far, far back at the horizon the castle where the king and queen live.
Sirius walked among the turnips, his father pointing out the rows that would need to be taken care of first, the plants that had withered and died because they'd caught the rot. His father looked solemn when he talked about the border, which was nothing more than a row of gnarled hedges.
Sirius caught a glimpse of someone through the bushes. "One of the white ones," murmured his father darkly. "You will be protecting us, son. One day you will be a famous knight and will protect commoners like your father."
Remus likes the knight best. Grandpa says he's useful but prefers the rook. Remus's pawns cower when the knight's charger jumps over their heads.
Tonight was the first night that Sirius was allowed to join the other knights and squires on one of their mysterious quests. Sir Burdock had taken him aside earlier today and whispered, "You will join me tonight. I want you to be quiet, to watch and to learn. And to do as I tell you, no matter what happens." Sirius had nodded, his eyes wide and his mind full of the great adventures that he would now be part of.
Remus moves his king sideways, lets the rook jump over - no, no one jumps over his king, do they? - lets the rook pass his king. He grins at Grandpa, who inclines his head in praise.
That night, before he drifts off to sleep, Remus looks over to the chessboard on the table by the window. Moonlight illuminates the unfinished game; the pieces cast long shadows across the board, white almost blinding him while black is hidden in the dusky darkness. As Remus's eyes drift closed, he senses movement among the pieces. Must be the light, his sleepy brain determines.
He has a strange dream that night. There are people moving on the chessboard. He’s had chess dreams before, dreams in which the chess pieces came alive. This time, though, it is not the pieces that move - instead, there are little people moving among the chess pieces!
"Whatever you do, whatever you see," warned Sir Burdock, "do not make a sound! There will be time to talk about what you see later." Sirius frowned, and Sir Burdock added, "I would like to tell you more but I am not allowed. Nobody is ever told anything before they go out for the first time. You have to see to believe, Sirius, and I think you are ready to believe what you will see." He left it at that, and Sirius was more confused than ever.
The bridge was drawn up, and the castle was sleeping. Here and there a few night owls were reading by candlelight, but for the most part the castle was enveloped in darkness. Sirius hastened after his master, grateful for the leather-soled shoes he’d given him. He caught glimpses of others, pairs of knights and squires, knights by themselves, and mysterious cloaked people whose faces were hidden under their hoods. They did not leave the castle through any of the gates, nor was there a secret passageway as Sirius had imagined. Instead, Sir Burdock pointed to a blank stretch of wall and told him to walk through it. Sirius turned around and glared at his master, wondering if this was all some nasty old joke. Around him people started moving. By the time Sirius turned around, they were gone. Sirius looked left and right, but there was no one. They were simply gone. But how? He felt Sir Burdock's hand on his shoulder. "We need to hurry. If you're nervous, try to do it at a bit of a run. I'll be right behind you." Sirius nodded, though he pictured himself running headlong into the wall. One deep breath later, he was running, the wall was coming close, closer. He could see the lichen and moss now. Any second now he would painfully collide with the rough stone. Sirius squeezed his eyes close and braced himself. He was running too fast now; there would be no stopping in time. And so he kept running, blindly. Any second now.
Around him the air shifted. It was warmer and there was no longer a breeze. Sirius opened his eyes and stumbled to a halt. He was looking at a room full of large stone statues. The floor beneath him was smooth marble in huge squares of black and white. One of the cloaked men was crouching behind a larger-than-life statue of a horse. He lifted his arm and his index finger disappeared into the shadows of his hood from which a quiet "Shhh" sounded. Sirius almost jumped out of his skin when his master whispered, "Well done" from behind him. Sirius had so many questions but didn't know which one to pose first. Then he remembered - be quiet, watch, learn - and so he followed his master.
The next evening, just before his eyelids droop, Remus sees something move on the chessboard again. Are there doxies in the curtains? Do doxies walk? Remus thinks he sees a little person move around one of the rooks. He narrows his eyes. A small hand reaches down from the black knight and pulls the wee whatever-it-is up onto the horse's back. From where he lies, Remus can't make out any distinct features. He wills himself to get up and have a look but falls asleep before he even moves his head an inch. The next morning he isn't sure if he dreamt it or not, but there are certainly no doxy droppings beneath the curtains.
"You have to be more careful, Sirius," Sir Burdock scolded his disciple. Sirius was no longer just a squire; he was now Burdock's apprentice to become one of the Blacks, a secret organisation that was so secret that Sirius still wasn't quite sure what exactly it was they did. "It's not just the Whites that you have to watch. There are others. Some call them the Game Lords, others simply the big ones. Some go as far as to call them gods. They cannot know about us, Sirius. Whatever happens, they must not see us!"
Sirius nodded, though he couldn't imagine that the god, if that's what he was, was really that dangerous. With his striped shirt he had looked like a huge version of one of the jester at court. Sirius knew the big one had seen him but hadn’t even moved. Sirius knew he needed to be more careful, but what if that giant really was a god, what if he could talk to him? A god had to know things, things that could be useful for the Blacks. Sirius wanted to be one of the great Blacks, cloaked, mysterious and powerful; he'd do everything to be one of them.
Remus moves the chess board to his bedside table and lies down. A lone candle flickers next to the chessboard. Remus lies still and waits. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, small people appear on the board. Some are cloaked and melt into the shadows almost as soon as they arrive, becoming indistinguishable from the chess figures. Then there are pairs of knights and squires - they look very much like those in the old paintings in Grandpa's house. The chess pieces are huge compared to the little people, and Remus tries to imagine what it must feel like to walk through a labyrinth of large statues. Spooky, he thinks. They must hardly be able to see with only the candle to illuminate the board. Slowly and carefully Remus picks up the candle holder to move it closer. He has no idea what the little people are doing and why they are there in the first place, but he might as well help them with a little light. And he wants to see.
Something was different tonight. Sirius couldn't quite pinpoint it, then realised it was the light. There was a bright ball of fire in the sky rather than the soft silver light he was used to. It was easier to navigate the shadows, however. Something drew Sirius's attention back to the light. It was hard to see beyond the brightness but he was sure he saw eyes - huge eyes, and they were watching him.
He looked around to catch Master Burdock's attention when all of a sudden the shadow that hid him disappeared. One of the Whites saw him and came running towards him with his sword drawn. Sirius wanted to run but couldn't move. He could only stare at the sword, light glinting on the polished steel. A High Master detached himself from the statue to his left and pushed Sirius behind his back. Sirius peered out from behind the High Master. He was eager to see some magic and completely forgot that only seconds earlier he had almost been skewered. The High Master sent a black ball of magic toward the white knight, who dropped as if someone had cut a puppet's strings. A shiver ran down Sirius's back, but he could not tear his eyes off the crumpled heap that had been a man just seconds before.
Distantly, he heard the High Master hiss a disdainful "Can't you look after your boy?" Sirius's attention was captured by the face next to the ball of fire in the sky. A boy's face with round, curious eyes. A gigantic face. Around him people retreated. Sirius felt someone pull at his hand. Master Burdock. He allowed himself to be dragged towards the gate but not without capturing the boy's eyes over his shoulder.
"No, wait! Don't go!" Remus shouts as he sees the little black and white people scurry toward their respective sides of the board. One by one they disappear. Why did he have to move that candle? He almost got one of them killed. Remus tries to find him again and their eyes lock as the other is dragged away by a grumpy-looking knight.
Master Burdock was so angry with him. No matter how often Sirius tried to explain that it wasn't his fault, that he had been hiding well, that it had been the boy who'd moved the light, Burdock would not listen. He got especially angry when Sirius talked about the boy. "You're a boy, the other squires are boys, I was once a boy, but that - that big one, whatever he is, he is not a boy and you will stay away from him, do you hear me?"
"But-" Sirius started.
"Enough!" roared Master Burdock. "No more quests for you until you've seen sense. And no argument," he added when he saw Sirius open his mouth to retort.
Sirius had sulkily ignored his master when he left that night. Hours later - Sirius was unable to fall asleep - he could hear people move in the street below. He waited for the front door to open, for his master to return home. Sirius lay awake all night but no one came home. The next day some peasants found Sir Burdock in a field close to the border, n arrow with white fletching stuck in his neck.
Sirius willed himself to be saddened by the death of the man who had taken him in when he had lost his family. But all he could focus on was that without a master, he would never have the chance to become a full member of the Blacks.
Ever since the night that he almost caused the death of one of the little people, Remus has become more careful when watching the board. He peers out from behind his pillow and makes sure not to move. He lies and watches. Every night the chessboard comes alive, and what is just a game during the day becomes war at night. Remus looks for the young man but doesn't see him again.
"You will come with me. You will watch, and you will learn," the High Master said as soon as he crossed the threshold. He pushed a piece of cloth into Sirius's arms. "Wear this and make sure no one sees your face."
Sirius looked at the cloak in his arms, then asked in confusion, "Who are you?"
"I am your new master, Sirius."
"But High Masters don't have apprentices," Sirius objected.
"There is much you don't know, young Sirius, but you will in time. You will know more than you ask for, much more." When Sirius stared at him with his mouth hanging open, he added, "Put on your cloak. It's time to leave."
Though Remus has given up hope that he will see the other boy ever again, he can't bring himself to stop watching the nightly action on the board. The fighting is becoming more intense every night, and often there are several wounded or even dead before Remus falls asleep.
It takes him several nights to realise that one of the cloaked figures - leaders, as Remus has deduced - is shadowed by one of the squires. The squire is wearing a cloak himself but his size tells Remus that he is just a boy. Intrigued, Remus observes the two of them.
Remus can see the cloaked boy hiding behind the black knight. He doesn't move, doesn't take part in the action, just stands there and looks the other way in Remus's direction.
It took Sirius several nights to will himself to do as he had been told. He watched the giant boy watch him, but couldn't bring himself to show his face and talk to him. His master didn't urge him, just kept repeating that Sirius knew what his task was.
Tonight was going to be the night. Sirus took up his customary position, saw the giant watch him. He took a deep breath, then lowered his hood.
"It's you!" Remus exclaims. "I thought you were gone for good. Wasn't sure if you were one of the - one of the dead ones."
Sirius didn't know why it had taken him so long to approach Remus, as he had learned the giant boy was called. He was friendly and fun and eager to tell Sirius about his world. Sirius's master was pleased with his progress and promised to send Sirius on an important mission very soon.
"I wish you were here for real." Sirius looks at him questioningly, and Remus adds, "You know what I mean, here with me and all the time, not just at night."
Sirius's Master took him aside. "The High Masters are very pleased with you, Sirius."
Sirius grinned in reply.
"We all agree that you will make a fine High Master one day."
Sirius had the grace to blush at such praise.
"Would you like that?"
"Yes, Master, very much," Sirius replied eagerly. The Blacks were his family. He wouldn't have known Remus without them. There was no other path Sirius could imagine.
"Are you prepared to endure sacrifices for that privilege?"
Sirius nodded. Anything, he thought.
"We will send you to the other world to live among the Game Lords -"
"You mean I get to meet Remus?"
"Yes, you will."
"Brilliant!"
"You are young and eager. That is good. You may not understand what I am about to tell you, but remember my words: You will lose everything, not only once but several times. You will endure more than you can imagine. Oh, you'll be happy, I have no doubt, but to you everything will always be temporary. Until you pass the test and come back as High Master. Until you become one of us. Is this what you want, Sirius? Think carefully."
Sirius was going to meet Remus and he would become a High Master. His Master's words left a niggling bad feeling at the back of his mind, but he ignored it as he replied, "Yes, that's what I want!"
Remus can't for the life of him find one of his black knights. Father tells him that they have wizard chess at Hogwarts and that you only need to tell your pieces where to move and they listen to you - most of the time anyway. He has given him his old set in a battered wooden box. The box is already stored in Remus's trunk, but he knows he cannot leave Sirius behind for a whole year. He turns his room upside down, but the knight does not reappear. It's Sirius's statue, not just a chess piece. His mother finds him as he sits crying on his bed and promises to send the piece to Hogwarts when she finds it.
Sirius saw the boy as soon as he reached Platform 9 ¾ but ignored him. His mother would want to know how he knew the brown-haired boy whose mother was clearly a Muggle, so he waited until he boarded the train. He quickly waved his family goodbye and went to look for the other boy. His hand slipped into his trouser pocket where it found the small black horse figurine.
"Can I sit with you?" Remus asks timidly as he enters a compartment already occupied by two boys.
The one with the glasses replies, "Sure. Come in."
Remus complies and sits down opposite a chubby boy with a pointed, rat-like face. "Hi, I'm Peter," the boy greets him, then continues, "This is James and there's another boy, Sirius, but he's gone out to look for someone."
"Sirius?" whispers Remus.
"Yes, do you know him?"
At that moment, the door slides open. Remus stares at the black-haired boy who enters the compartment. It can't be. All those nights of wishing that Sirius could be real - and now here he stands.
"Sirius?" Remus asks again and almost reaches out to touch him, to see if he really is there in the flesh.
"I've got something for you," Sirius said without preamble and pulled the black knight out of his pocket. "Thought you might need it."
Slowly, Remus reaches out, afraid that Sirius will disappear the moment he gets near him. He holds out his hand and Sirius carefully lays the knight down on his palm. His fingertips linger and he is still there and warm and real. Remus smiles.
Remus was warm and soft and there. Sirius didn't want to let go of his hand. Somewhere at the back of his mind a question formed: How long exactly is temporary?
Stalemate
Remus stops abruptly and stares into the fireplace behind Kingsley.
"I - I don't know what to say, Remus," Kingsley ventures carefully.
"You don't believe me, do you?"
Kingsley looks at him with earnest concern. "He's gone, Remus. Let go of him."
Remus looks over to the chessboard, blinking away the tears.
"Is that the board?" Kingsley asks carefully.
"What? Oh, no. My board's at Grimmauld Place. I just have to get it."
Remus feels a childlike, giddy excitement at the thought of watching the little figures move around the board again, Sirius alive and a High Master. But there has been no movement among the chess pieces for years, not since Lily and James died. When Sirius was first taken to Azkaban, Remus held a nightly vigil by the board, but nothing happened. Not once. Not a single little person peered out from behind a chess piece.
Remus gratefully accepts the Firewhiskey that Kingsley holds out and wills himself to forget the chessboard. He can't risk seeing nothing.
This entry was originally posted at http://nathaniel-hp.dreamwidth.org/178642.html. Comments are welcome either here or over at DW.