(no subject)
[from yesterday]
I just heard my neighbor's dog bark and for the tiniest, tiniest, TINIEST second I thought Tucker was home, as though, this morning, I didn't lower him gently to the floor as the life went out of him, and he'd simply run off.
Fuck.
[from today]
I should have been better to him. Touched him more. Not complained about him as much. Taken him for more walks. Let him lick my legs more often. Never used a choke collar... ever. Gotten him washed and groomed more than I did. Played with him more. Never said horrible things to him.
But instead, I spent the last few weeks complaining about feeling like EVERYONE and EVERYTHING needs from me and it was getting to be too much. Kids need me for food, love, entertainment, transportation. Pets needed me to clean up their litter, feed them, give them love and attention, and let them outside to go to the bathroom twenty times per day. At work everyone needs me to answer questions, restock their products, clean up their messes, etc.
I had no time for myself. No time to breathe.
I begged the universe for a break.
And the universe helped by taking away my dog.
Now I've got one less pet to need from me... and one gaping hole in my life where my dog and decade-long best friend should be. The ultimate cost of freeing up 20mins of my day.
Awesome.
I just heard my neighbor's dog bark and for the tiniest, tiniest, TINIEST second I thought Tucker was home, as though, this morning, I didn't lower him gently to the floor as the life went out of him, and he'd simply run off.
Fuck.
[from today]
I should have been better to him. Touched him more. Not complained about him as much. Taken him for more walks. Let him lick my legs more often. Never used a choke collar... ever. Gotten him washed and groomed more than I did. Played with him more. Never said horrible things to him.
But instead, I spent the last few weeks complaining about feeling like EVERYONE and EVERYTHING needs from me and it was getting to be too much. Kids need me for food, love, entertainment, transportation. Pets needed me to clean up their litter, feed them, give them love and attention, and let them outside to go to the bathroom twenty times per day. At work everyone needs me to answer questions, restock their products, clean up their messes, etc.
I had no time for myself. No time to breathe.
I begged the universe for a break.
And the universe helped by taking away my dog.
Now I've got one less pet to need from me... and one gaping hole in my life where my dog and decade-long best friend should be. The ultimate cost of freeing up 20mins of my day.
Awesome.