(no subject)
Ok, besides the obvious (the girl part), does it make sense for me to be slightly squicked out by my aunt saying that once I complete my Masters I will become a "career girl." Its kind of like "lady doctor" or something, like OMG person with a vagina has a career?!! Yeah, my aunt is in her 70's, I should probably make allowances, its just, ewwww. I think I have this thing about relatives I love and respect who aren't my parents where I exepct them to be cool in all respects and that just isn't realistic. I'm reading the first chapter on existential psychology for class and its got me thinking about how screwed up we get over compartmentalizing our lives, and wishing I didn't have to do that as often. I'm sick of having work self and family self and home self. I feel like other people (and by other I probably mean straight and non trans) don't have to do this nearly as much as I do. But maybe I'm wrong about that, maybe everyone has to do that.
I'm feeling guilty about not practicing/going to guitar for almost a month now, and not calling my birth mom on the holidays, and not getting every single member of my family and my coworkers xmas presents.
This was probably a bad time in my life to start guitar, and definately a bad time of year. As for not calling Sage I don't really have a good excuse. The presents I probably shouldn't feel that guilty about, its not like I have tons of time and money right now. I don't know. I'm way too guilt ridden in general.
I'm kind of let down about the holidays being over. The apartment looked really nice decorated. It will be sad to take it all down.
Sometimes I imagnie what it would be like to live in my other aunt's cabin, a simple peaceful life full of visiting and decorating and gardening and cooking, and working at the local grocery. It sounds nice, but then again I'd probably go crazy after too long. Probably all the charm of the place is in the fact that I don't have to live there. I remmber how releived we were coming back to Chicago where we could be us again.
ok, thats enough rambling for one day.
I'm feeling guilty about not practicing/going to guitar for almost a month now, and not calling my birth mom on the holidays, and not getting every single member of my family and my coworkers xmas presents.
This was probably a bad time in my life to start guitar, and definately a bad time of year. As for not calling Sage I don't really have a good excuse. The presents I probably shouldn't feel that guilty about, its not like I have tons of time and money right now. I don't know. I'm way too guilt ridden in general.
I'm kind of let down about the holidays being over. The apartment looked really nice decorated. It will be sad to take it all down.
Sometimes I imagnie what it would be like to live in my other aunt's cabin, a simple peaceful life full of visiting and decorating and gardening and cooking, and working at the local grocery. It sounds nice, but then again I'd probably go crazy after too long. Probably all the charm of the place is in the fact that I don't have to live there. I remmber how releived we were coming back to Chicago where we could be us again.
ok, thats enough rambling for one day.