Excitement...
Hmm so I cam to the realization that I don't get excited about things. This is after Ruby pointed out to me of course. The last time I was really thrilled and excited is when I played water polo for J-House and we freaking won! Cause of my brilliance. :) It was exhilarating and amazing. The attention I got was absolutely wonderful. I love going to work, but I don't get excited to go to work. I wanna be excited and thrilled to do something. I am going out with Chris to go clubbing. I completely feel like backing out of it just because i don't feel excited about it. I guess i miss the adrenaline rush that i once used to get on a bi-weekly basis in high school through sports. Right now I am in between excited and just antsy to get out of here see Emily and see my family. I also feel that i am very negative toward the girl friends that i have. I'm not exactly sad or mad at them but they are not exactly exciting themselves. Not to mention they are girls... I think i relate more to guys then anything else. They just seem to be more fun and playful and are def. not hurt by my rude sarcastic comments. They actually get my sarcasm, that is nice for a change. I want to have fun! Actually have fun and be excited about something. That would be nice. :)