(no subject)
I have sorta forgotten about livejournal here lately, haven't posted anything in awhile but I guess it's time! Especially with all the changes here lately in life!
I don't know....in spite of the bad that has happened recently, I have been able to hang on and try to find a lot of positive out of life. It's hard to imagine Mom being gone and I have terrible nightmares about it a lot. It's hard to imagine our baby comes soon and he'll be living here...it's a lot to take in, it's a blur for right now! I worry almost constantly about something going wrong with him. His umbilical cord has 2 vessels - an artery and a vein, and it's supposed to have 2 arteries and one vein. It's associated with some malformations in 20% of babies who have it, but he has had 5 ultrasounds so far and things appear to be going well, but it is still hard to get my hopes up and actually believe that things will be okay, especially since everything that just happened with Mom....it's a difficult time to be hopeful. I just want to be able to bring him home and hold him all the time - I don't want anything to stand in the way of that. I was on bedrest for a month because he wasn't growing well at one point, but he had caught up at his last ultrasound so the bedrest has ended, for which I am very thankful because it was HORRIBLY boring! It is also somewhat hard to be away from school, and I really do miss it, but I couldn't have taken care of Mom if I hadn't done that, and I couldn't have been on bedrest either. It should be fine though....things should work out fine with all that. Paul is taking care of everything for the time being, so it'll be okay.
I don't know....in spite of the bad that has happened recently, I have been able to hang on and try to find a lot of positive out of life. It's hard to imagine Mom being gone and I have terrible nightmares about it a lot. It's hard to imagine our baby comes soon and he'll be living here...it's a lot to take in, it's a blur for right now! I worry almost constantly about something going wrong with him. His umbilical cord has 2 vessels - an artery and a vein, and it's supposed to have 2 arteries and one vein. It's associated with some malformations in 20% of babies who have it, but he has had 5 ultrasounds so far and things appear to be going well, but it is still hard to get my hopes up and actually believe that things will be okay, especially since everything that just happened with Mom....it's a difficult time to be hopeful. I just want to be able to bring him home and hold him all the time - I don't want anything to stand in the way of that. I was on bedrest for a month because he wasn't growing well at one point, but he had caught up at his last ultrasound so the bedrest has ended, for which I am very thankful because it was HORRIBLY boring! It is also somewhat hard to be away from school, and I really do miss it, but I couldn't have taken care of Mom if I hadn't done that, and I couldn't have been on bedrest either. It should be fine though....things should work out fine with all that. Paul is taking care of everything for the time being, so it'll be okay.