Thought
Am I angry because I got caught. Or because I knew I was wrong?
I personally think she overreacts. But correction, this is an on going thing, and I do keep on eating in my room.I know it's not the biggest deal, but it apparently was to her since Jessica is getting kicked out and I am threatened.My dad is highly disturbed my this, it's putting him into a bad situation. He asked me to vent to him, and for the first time, I just listened. I didn't interrupt him (like normal), I just stood there, watching him. It's like the more he vented the higher his blood sugar went, which made his face twice as red. If he had a heart attack in front of me, because something that I did to upset him, I couldn't live with myself.
IMPATIENCE
Why are we impatient? Why can't we just live life as it is? Even when it isnt an appointment we're anxious to get to. Always wanting to DO something, to GO somewhere. I think it's just an attempt to show ourselves off to others. Also known as instinct. I think this as I tell people to be ready, they arnt when they should be, and now we're late. For what? To shop...That I can go ALMOST everyday. But today I feel is special because I have the night off. But the last thing I want to do is sit on a computer typing, checking emails, looking up hot guys that I would never get with and would never double look me unless it was to see what the hell I was wearing, or how I did my makeup. But this, secretly, does NOT bother me. I dont want the cute boys that everyone thinks is dreamy. I dont want "tall dark and handsome" or The three B's "blonde blue and built" I want "him" Haha. It's hard to explain. But I feel I can do a better job if I write it down. I dont want the norm. Or out of the norm. I want the one that will catch my eye. Which might be norm. to everyone else, but when i look at him i see EVERYTHING he is and will be.
I know. I should be puking. But even ice princesses want to eventually be with someone.
Thank god I Have the PATIENCE to wait. I dont go after people because I patiently wait around for something to happen. I live day to day with everything happening, eventually what I would like to happen, will.
PAINFUL THINKING
I think about Andy alot, and how perfect he was, but how un perfect he was. let me try to begin explaining. We met online, we were SO good together. Never had a dull moment in conversation, loved the same things, the exact same people, or so I thought. He told me before that he used to be a player "before his gaming days" he described it. So, that should have been sign one. Anyways. I ended up saving up alot of money, and driving to his house in Melbourne and spent the night. I felt, it would be right, to kiss him. He kissed back. What he didn't tell me was me kissing him was inappropriate and I should have waited to kiss him. instead he indulged my wanting for him and let me kiss him again. It was the next day and I was told by a mutual friend that I should wait. I should have listened. After I left, he was distant, not talkative at all. Then it happened, he deleted me off his myspace, and blocked me. Refusing to talk to me or tell anyone but this mutual friend what was wrong. I FINALLY found out why he was being bitter and ignoring me. He felt I was a "stalker" and it was "weird" that i kissed him that night? and other things he didn't understand made him feel this way. Knowing even if he accepted my answers to this accusation, I still would never want to talk to him like I did before. But I had to let him know, I was NOT obsessed with him. In which he turned immature with others. -the end-
Signs I should have listened to (a) He got sick the day I was sposed to go (b) his family made him go out of town with them the next time I was sposed to visit him (c) he had ANOTHER fever the next time I was sposed to go with him (d) he didnt hug me upon first meeting me (e) I should have slept on the other couch instead of sleeping next to him, he offered to sleep on either. (f) I was told by a friend of his that I should not have kissed him, and should'nt do it again. informing him we've talked about this before and he didn't know what he was talking about. Outcome, the end of Andy.
Im not wise. but I believe instinct makes you wise, but so do mistakes? Or do mistakes only help you learn. But learning is how you become wise? But being wise isnt book smarts. Its knowledge of life. Im 18 years old, ive only began my life. Even though the one ive had has been a very appreciative.
I personally think she overreacts. But correction, this is an on going thing, and I do keep on eating in my room.I know it's not the biggest deal, but it apparently was to her since Jessica is getting kicked out and I am threatened.My dad is highly disturbed my this, it's putting him into a bad situation. He asked me to vent to him, and for the first time, I just listened. I didn't interrupt him (like normal), I just stood there, watching him. It's like the more he vented the higher his blood sugar went, which made his face twice as red. If he had a heart attack in front of me, because something that I did to upset him, I couldn't live with myself.
IMPATIENCE
Why are we impatient? Why can't we just live life as it is? Even when it isnt an appointment we're anxious to get to. Always wanting to DO something, to GO somewhere. I think it's just an attempt to show ourselves off to others. Also known as instinct. I think this as I tell people to be ready, they arnt when they should be, and now we're late. For what? To shop...That I can go ALMOST everyday. But today I feel is special because I have the night off. But the last thing I want to do is sit on a computer typing, checking emails, looking up hot guys that I would never get with and would never double look me unless it was to see what the hell I was wearing, or how I did my makeup. But this, secretly, does NOT bother me. I dont want the cute boys that everyone thinks is dreamy. I dont want "tall dark and handsome" or The three B's "blonde blue and built" I want "him" Haha. It's hard to explain. But I feel I can do a better job if I write it down. I dont want the norm. Or out of the norm. I want the one that will catch my eye. Which might be norm. to everyone else, but when i look at him i see EVERYTHING he is and will be.
I know. I should be puking. But even ice princesses want to eventually be with someone.
Thank god I Have the PATIENCE to wait. I dont go after people because I patiently wait around for something to happen. I live day to day with everything happening, eventually what I would like to happen, will.
PAINFUL THINKING
I think about Andy alot, and how perfect he was, but how un perfect he was. let me try to begin explaining. We met online, we were SO good together. Never had a dull moment in conversation, loved the same things, the exact same people, or so I thought. He told me before that he used to be a player "before his gaming days" he described it. So, that should have been sign one. Anyways. I ended up saving up alot of money, and driving to his house in Melbourne and spent the night. I felt, it would be right, to kiss him. He kissed back. What he didn't tell me was me kissing him was inappropriate and I should have waited to kiss him. instead he indulged my wanting for him and let me kiss him again. It was the next day and I was told by a mutual friend that I should wait. I should have listened. After I left, he was distant, not talkative at all. Then it happened, he deleted me off his myspace, and blocked me. Refusing to talk to me or tell anyone but this mutual friend what was wrong. I FINALLY found out why he was being bitter and ignoring me. He felt I was a "stalker" and it was "weird" that i kissed him that night? and other things he didn't understand made him feel this way. Knowing even if he accepted my answers to this accusation, I still would never want to talk to him like I did before. But I had to let him know, I was NOT obsessed with him. In which he turned immature with others. -the end-
Signs I should have listened to (a) He got sick the day I was sposed to go (b) his family made him go out of town with them the next time I was sposed to visit him (c) he had ANOTHER fever the next time I was sposed to go with him (d) he didnt hug me upon first meeting me (e) I should have slept on the other couch instead of sleeping next to him, he offered to sleep on either. (f) I was told by a friend of his that I should not have kissed him, and should'nt do it again. informing him we've talked about this before and he didn't know what he was talking about. Outcome, the end of Andy.
Im not wise. but I believe instinct makes you wise, but so do mistakes? Or do mistakes only help you learn. But learning is how you become wise? But being wise isnt book smarts. Its knowledge of life. Im 18 years old, ive only began my life. Even though the one ive had has been a very appreciative.