Car Nostalgia, LJ Tagging, and New Plants
I'll start with the positive thing, something I forgot to mention before: I finally got some new plants. I'd been wanting more than just my unidentified-leafy-thing (which sprouted a vine and has literally taken over its window and curtains), so I finally picked up some new residents of the house.
What I really wanted was an aloe plant, I've always liked them, so I now have one that's happily re-potted and living on my desk. And as a bonus, they had a good deal on bamboo, so I picked one up to sit next to my monitor. It even came in a cute purple pot! It's nice to have more greenery, and I'd like even more, but I don't want to get a bunch all at once.
Oh, and here's a photo, it kinda sucks but you get the idea.
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Also, I finally finished my journal tagging project (on my LJ, I don't think I'm going to bother doing it on Dreamwidth for now)! Unfortunately, sheer volume of entries makes the tags less useful than tags normally are, but if you're looking for entries on a particular topic, they can now be navigated by some method other than by date.
I'm really glad I did it, too, because there've been many occasions where I wanted to find a specific post to send to someone, and it's taken upwards of an hour to track down. Plus, I'm an archivist anyway, so it's not like my posts are going to go away; might as well categorize them :-)
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Unfortunately, since the tagging project involved re-reading every post I've ever made, in mostly-chronological order, I've had a severe overload of nostalgia. It was one thing to look over comments from people I've long since lost touch with, and reports of furmeets that don't exist anymore, or afternoons spent with friends I don't see anymore. Those alone put me in an odd mood, but the posts about getting my Rover and modifications I made to my Integra really got me down.
I miss the Integra almost constantly, even though it'd be in poor shape by now if it were still around, so reading about the fun I had with it in my own words was downright torturous. And while the Rover ended up being a lemon, I was on top of the world when I first acquired it. I hadn't really reminisced about it in awhile, so to read posts from the first year I owned it (which were the happiest) was painful. Doing both at the same time (since ownership of the two overlapped) left me missing both vehicles so much that I was nearly in physical pain.
Of course, I've had good times with the Crown Vic, and I still enjoy it to an extent, but I never connected with it as strongly as with the other two. The Integra was beautiful, in immaculate condition, and genuinely fun to drive. The Rover was exotic, full of character, fun to drive in its own way, and it was more than just a truck, it was my sidekick, my faithful partner in exploration. The Crown Vic, by contrast, isn't overly attractive, sporty, or inherently fun to drive in any way. It's primary emotional appeal comes from the fact that it looks like a cop car, and since any joy I initially got from that was completely extinguished by the local police jerks, I can't even enjoy that part; everyone else has more fun in my car than I'm allowed to. And it's not even reliable anymore, which is the yardstick most other people use to measure the personal worth of their vehicles.
It's true that I get tired of my cars after a certain amount of time, but this goes much deeper than that. I had looked into selling my Integra before it was wrecked, because I wanted something else, but I still cried like I'd lost a brother when I had to leave it for the last time. And love kept me from selling the Rover when I should have for several years, I couldn't bring myself to let it go until it was literally rusting to death in my driveway. The Crown Vic had only one gimmick to endear itself to me, and when I couldn't enjoy that anymore, it became just another car, like the Accord that was my first 4-wheeled car (another car that I liked for awhile, but I don't miss it or long for another one).
Unfortunately, I don't really have anything I can do to ease these feelings, because my car's trade-in value is only slightly higher than the value of the video card in my laptop, which wouldn't even get me an equally-reliable generic replacement. What I want is a car that I really bond with, like my previous two, something that I'll stick to and be happy with for at least as long as the car lasts. And I may have exotic tastes, but I'm really not that picky; there's a revolving mental list of cars that I would buy today if I had the means to do so, a list which offers plenty of affordable selections, on top of vehicles I might not have considered/researched yet.
*sighs* Words can't describe how tired I am of feeling this way. I wish I could be happy with a boring car, I really do, it would make my life and my finances a lot simpler if I could trade my Crown Vic on a Civic, Aveo, or Jetta and be satisfied enough to stop getting depressed over what I don't have every time I get behind the wheel. But no matter what I do, I can't stop longing for the strong emotional bond I had with the Integra and Rover. I'd even be happy if I could form that sort of bond with the Crown Vic, but I've been trying for years and I just can't do it, especially not when it's practically falling apart every time I turn around.
What I really wanted was an aloe plant, I've always liked them, so I now have one that's happily re-potted and living on my desk. And as a bonus, they had a good deal on bamboo, so I picked one up to sit next to my monitor. It even came in a cute purple pot! It's nice to have more greenery, and I'd like even more, but I don't want to get a bunch all at once.
Oh, and here's a photo, it kinda sucks but you get the idea.
=========================
Also, I finally finished my journal tagging project (on my LJ, I don't think I'm going to bother doing it on Dreamwidth for now)! Unfortunately, sheer volume of entries makes the tags less useful than tags normally are, but if you're looking for entries on a particular topic, they can now be navigated by some method other than by date.
I'm really glad I did it, too, because there've been many occasions where I wanted to find a specific post to send to someone, and it's taken upwards of an hour to track down. Plus, I'm an archivist anyway, so it's not like my posts are going to go away; might as well categorize them :-)
=========================
Unfortunately, since the tagging project involved re-reading every post I've ever made, in mostly-chronological order, I've had a severe overload of nostalgia. It was one thing to look over comments from people I've long since lost touch with, and reports of furmeets that don't exist anymore, or afternoons spent with friends I don't see anymore. Those alone put me in an odd mood, but the posts about getting my Rover and modifications I made to my Integra really got me down.
I miss the Integra almost constantly, even though it'd be in poor shape by now if it were still around, so reading about the fun I had with it in my own words was downright torturous. And while the Rover ended up being a lemon, I was on top of the world when I first acquired it. I hadn't really reminisced about it in awhile, so to read posts from the first year I owned it (which were the happiest) was painful. Doing both at the same time (since ownership of the two overlapped) left me missing both vehicles so much that I was nearly in physical pain.
Of course, I've had good times with the Crown Vic, and I still enjoy it to an extent, but I never connected with it as strongly as with the other two. The Integra was beautiful, in immaculate condition, and genuinely fun to drive. The Rover was exotic, full of character, fun to drive in its own way, and it was more than just a truck, it was my sidekick, my faithful partner in exploration. The Crown Vic, by contrast, isn't overly attractive, sporty, or inherently fun to drive in any way. It's primary emotional appeal comes from the fact that it looks like a cop car, and since any joy I initially got from that was completely extinguished by the local police jerks, I can't even enjoy that part; everyone else has more fun in my car than I'm allowed to. And it's not even reliable anymore, which is the yardstick most other people use to measure the personal worth of their vehicles.
It's true that I get tired of my cars after a certain amount of time, but this goes much deeper than that. I had looked into selling my Integra before it was wrecked, because I wanted something else, but I still cried like I'd lost a brother when I had to leave it for the last time. And love kept me from selling the Rover when I should have for several years, I couldn't bring myself to let it go until it was literally rusting to death in my driveway. The Crown Vic had only one gimmick to endear itself to me, and when I couldn't enjoy that anymore, it became just another car, like the Accord that was my first 4-wheeled car (another car that I liked for awhile, but I don't miss it or long for another one).
Unfortunately, I don't really have anything I can do to ease these feelings, because my car's trade-in value is only slightly higher than the value of the video card in my laptop, which wouldn't even get me an equally-reliable generic replacement. What I want is a car that I really bond with, like my previous two, something that I'll stick to and be happy with for at least as long as the car lasts. And I may have exotic tastes, but I'm really not that picky; there's a revolving mental list of cars that I would buy today if I had the means to do so, a list which offers plenty of affordable selections, on top of vehicles I might not have considered/researched yet.
*sighs* Words can't describe how tired I am of feeling this way. I wish I could be happy with a boring car, I really do, it would make my life and my finances a lot simpler if I could trade my Crown Vic on a Civic, Aveo, or Jetta and be satisfied enough to stop getting depressed over what I don't have every time I get behind the wheel. But no matter what I do, I can't stop longing for the strong emotional bond I had with the Integra and Rover. I'd even be happy if I could form that sort of bond with the Crown Vic, but I've been trying for years and I just can't do it, especially not when it's practically falling apart every time I turn around.