I really need to get this off my chest.
Yeah.
So I was going to do that thing that I usually do with my sister where I just don't talk about it and we both get over it and we move on without any bitterness.
But. I feel just as frustrated as I did a couple days ago and it gets worse the more I think about it.
I've often been asked why I'm so passionate about something I don't believe in.
Fair question.
I want everyone to to wake up tomorrow, go to work, take a walk, go to the grocery store and go on the internet and do your usual thing.
Except I want you to do that without hearing or saying the word food or eating food or talking about food.
I know, it's silly.
Do it though.
Now I want you to imagine food is invisible. You've never had to eat food. You don't believe other people have to eat it to survive. But, hey. They enjoy it. To them, it's how they live their life. They can't imagine not having it in their life.
It's not as ridiculous as it sounds. Maybe you realize it, maybe you don't. But food to you is what god is to me.
I don't go a day without hearing the name God or Jesus. I don't go to work on Fridays without hearing someone say "Thank god, it's Friday." I don't sneeze without someone saying "bless you." I don't log into facebook without seeing someone leave a bible verse as a status. I don't watch an award show without hearing someone thank god. In fact, just tonight I was watching The X Factor where each contestant was to thank someone in their life for helping them get to where they were.
Naturally, a woman dedicated her whole segment to Jesus. She said "Everyone in my life has disappointed me. He is the only one who hasn't."
She was a great singer. She was beautiful and talented and she made me smile. I was definitely inspired.
I mean hey, this girl loves Christmas songs. All of them. Not just about the snowman and red nosed reindeer.
I'm not offended by any of this. It doesn't make me pause or scoff or laugh at anyone's direction. I'm not the type of free thinker that wants to convince anyone they're in the wrong if they believe in anything. I actually hate the idea of a world without religion. People I know and love have been saved by it.
I just happen to think it's bull shit.
And you know, I'm not going to be specific. I think any god or deity or sky-bound ruler is an inspiring yet fictional character.
Why am I so passionate about it?
Because I see hatred come out of it too. I see things being prevented from being able to happen because of it. Even though there's supposed to be a separation. I have children in my class ask me if they're going to heaven. That one is hard for me.
I remember an incident that happened not too long ago. It's a silly and shallow example but maybe it will help you guys see it from my angle a bit. "Lurids." Beautiful coined name, no? Some of them were said to be at an event Jake was at and quite a few people were angry. Instead of classifying each individual by name, they were known as the "lurids" that went to a Jake event. A friend came on and jumped to the defense. Not all Lurids are bad! Some of them like Jake! Some of them can tell the difference between a character and an actor!
We know. Give us the benefit of a doubt. We're obviously talking about the ones that do hate him.
Ah.
Hate *has* been spewed in the name of God. Not just in the olden age but now too. We can't deny that. People protesting at funerals and wars and terrorism and murder and baseless hate.
Hey! Not all of us are bad! A lot of just love! We don't agree with the hate!
I know.
I know hate crimes and horrible crimes are also done in the name of nothing.
And to be honest?
I felt like once again, atheists were the bad guys. We spoke out and we were silenced.
I don't sugar coat things. I joke. I love satire. I love joking that it's hilarious that a man could build a big boat and fit two of every animal on it. I think it's ridiculous that a man listened to a burning bush and a giant was killed with a stone and we're supposed to passively read a man selling his daughters because of the time it was written in.
I don't think people who believe it are hilarious and should be laughed at.
I don't know as much as some athiest activists. I'm actually uncomfortable with the word since it sort of puts us who don't believe in anything in a group. I don't want to be part of a belief group because I believe what I see. I'm a very literal person. I hate it when "atheists" will start debates with people who are happy in their life style following whatever religion they choose and try to make them believe differently.
I will never. EVER. Try to convince someone they're wrong. First off, I don't know enough about it to start debates. My memory is foggy and I just don't get the purpose.
I was actually watching a lecture where they were saying believing in something is healthier. Longer lifespans, less chance of depression, etc. I wish I could believe sometimes. I would love to think that I'll be able to see my loved ones again. That shitty things that happen will be microscopic compared to the good things that happen after death.
But again. I'm literal. I haven't studied other religions. I watch videos on youtube and read articles but that's the extent of my knowledge. I know I don't like the bible. At all. I read it when I was little and cried because I was so scared. I know that I can't put my own spin on it and that not only do I not believe it's not true, I hope it's not. I don't like the idea of being judged. I don't like the idea of having free will and my family and friends having free will and having a brain that tells me, "I don't believe that." and going to eternal misery for it.
There's not many of us who have this mind frame. It might seem like it when Van posts about it but let's face it, Van can post about loving to lick the inside of public toilet seats and everyone else would seem to have a sudden passion for liking human waste in their mouths.
But I will tell you right now. I didn't suddenly decide to not believe in anything because Lord Hansis did.
I understand people were uncomfortable with the tone the speaker took.
To me though... it's hard as a non-believer to not... laugh.
I'm not laughing at you. When I'm told the devil is a time-traveler who warped with a mans mind to copyright the bible before Jesus was born to try to fool God's creations to turn away from him- I laugh. And trust me, I have heard it.
I am sorry if this offends you. I'm sorry if it makes you feel like I'm judging you or making fun of you because trust me, I am not. I have enough of that from people in my life that do believe and past sunday school teachers and religious friends that I wouldn't dare put that on someone else. I've had it done from people who don't believe and people who I have no idea where their beliefs are. It sucks. I'm not going to do that.
Okay. Let's do another experiment. And this really, really isn't meant to make fun but to show you where I'm at.
I believe in Zues and Hera. I believe that the deer that just passed my house is Aphrodite trying to steal the yellow apple in my house because she thinks it's the golden one.
And I want you to pretend this is the most common belief in our country. Not necessarily the apples or deer part but that all those Gods exist. That pictures of Hercules are plastered on peoples walls and every Sunday before church I dip my finger in Achilles water and trace a lightning bolt over my heart.
I'm not trying to be cute.
But say believing this has caused a lot of good in the world. Has helped people overcome addictions and change their lives around and be just good people. Believing all this has inspired them and helped them in ways none of us can begin to understand.
The belief seems silly. As is any belief in any god, in my opinion. The belief shouldn't offend though if it doesn't directly harm you. If it makes them happy- why care?
But geez. If this is all you see for all your life and every politician says he's a man of Zues and people say they will sacrifice for you- wouldn't it feel good to just be able to vent every once in awhile? To be able to talk to like-minded people and have a good laugh? When people tell me they're praying for me, I don't respond like, "LOL! That is so ridiculous! Why are you so dumb?" Actually. Never. I'll reblog silly posts or watch videos or yeah, have conversations with people that think it's just as funny. I will never judge you though. I will never tell you how to talk about your faith. I will never be offended. Because I know nobody is trying to be malicious in their beliefs. I know, especially with the lot of you, that your faith comes from your heart. That you love and aren't hateful.
I just wish that I could joke without being afraid of hurting someone's feelings. Or agree to someone on Vans stupid post without feeling like an asshole. And I can't lie that the other night I felt like I was a big one. And that upset me. I don't want my beliefs (or non hardy har har) to be taken seriously. My sister (who is also a free thinking woman of science) and I have totally different opinions on this by the way. Which is amusing.
Anyway. I was a bit hurt the other night. I felt like I had to keep my mouth shut because obviously the video and Van himself (though he actually didn't say anything that night and I felt he was unfairly criticized) were very unpopular. And it was probably unfair to tag myself to that. I'll own up to that.
I'm not going to get into why I don't believe or the history of it or whateverwhateverwhatever. Because again, I just don't see the point of spouting that off to people who are happy in their ways. And I want to be able to have fun in ny and not feel awkward :p
Anyway, I love you guys a lot. And I really didn't want to say anything but it was eating up at me. I hope I made a lick of sense.... And this isn't supposed to make people feel bad at all. At all, at all, at all, at all. I just wanted to say something before I became a bitter, irrational asshole. We all have opinions on things and nobody should feel bad for saying theirs.
ps, I really, really, really think anyone who is ~willing and interested- they should give this a watch. It's long but it makes the brain nerd in me drool. I was Reid Oliver in a previous life. Except not half as smart. But we both lived without seeing Van/Luke naked. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWZAL64E0DI&fb_source=message
So I was going to do that thing that I usually do with my sister where I just don't talk about it and we both get over it and we move on without any bitterness.
But. I feel just as frustrated as I did a couple days ago and it gets worse the more I think about it.
I've often been asked why I'm so passionate about something I don't believe in.
Fair question.
I want everyone to to wake up tomorrow, go to work, take a walk, go to the grocery store and go on the internet and do your usual thing.
Except I want you to do that without hearing or saying the word food or eating food or talking about food.
I know, it's silly.
Do it though.
Now I want you to imagine food is invisible. You've never had to eat food. You don't believe other people have to eat it to survive. But, hey. They enjoy it. To them, it's how they live their life. They can't imagine not having it in their life.
It's not as ridiculous as it sounds. Maybe you realize it, maybe you don't. But food to you is what god is to me.
I don't go a day without hearing the name God or Jesus. I don't go to work on Fridays without hearing someone say "Thank god, it's Friday." I don't sneeze without someone saying "bless you." I don't log into facebook without seeing someone leave a bible verse as a status. I don't watch an award show without hearing someone thank god. In fact, just tonight I was watching The X Factor where each contestant was to thank someone in their life for helping them get to where they were.
Naturally, a woman dedicated her whole segment to Jesus. She said "Everyone in my life has disappointed me. He is the only one who hasn't."
She was a great singer. She was beautiful and talented and she made me smile. I was definitely inspired.
I mean hey, this girl loves Christmas songs. All of them. Not just about the snowman and red nosed reindeer.
I'm not offended by any of this. It doesn't make me pause or scoff or laugh at anyone's direction. I'm not the type of free thinker that wants to convince anyone they're in the wrong if they believe in anything. I actually hate the idea of a world without religion. People I know and love have been saved by it.
I just happen to think it's bull shit.
And you know, I'm not going to be specific. I think any god or deity or sky-bound ruler is an inspiring yet fictional character.
Why am I so passionate about it?
Because I see hatred come out of it too. I see things being prevented from being able to happen because of it. Even though there's supposed to be a separation. I have children in my class ask me if they're going to heaven. That one is hard for me.
I remember an incident that happened not too long ago. It's a silly and shallow example but maybe it will help you guys see it from my angle a bit. "Lurids." Beautiful coined name, no? Some of them were said to be at an event Jake was at and quite a few people were angry. Instead of classifying each individual by name, they were known as the "lurids" that went to a Jake event. A friend came on and jumped to the defense. Not all Lurids are bad! Some of them like Jake! Some of them can tell the difference between a character and an actor!
We know. Give us the benefit of a doubt. We're obviously talking about the ones that do hate him.
Ah.
Hate *has* been spewed in the name of God. Not just in the olden age but now too. We can't deny that. People protesting at funerals and wars and terrorism and murder and baseless hate.
Hey! Not all of us are bad! A lot of just love! We don't agree with the hate!
I know.
I know hate crimes and horrible crimes are also done in the name of nothing.
And to be honest?
I felt like once again, atheists were the bad guys. We spoke out and we were silenced.
I don't sugar coat things. I joke. I love satire. I love joking that it's hilarious that a man could build a big boat and fit two of every animal on it. I think it's ridiculous that a man listened to a burning bush and a giant was killed with a stone and we're supposed to passively read a man selling his daughters because of the time it was written in.
I don't think people who believe it are hilarious and should be laughed at.
I don't know as much as some athiest activists. I'm actually uncomfortable with the word since it sort of puts us who don't believe in anything in a group. I don't want to be part of a belief group because I believe what I see. I'm a very literal person. I hate it when "atheists" will start debates with people who are happy in their life style following whatever religion they choose and try to make them believe differently.
I will never. EVER. Try to convince someone they're wrong. First off, I don't know enough about it to start debates. My memory is foggy and I just don't get the purpose.
I was actually watching a lecture where they were saying believing in something is healthier. Longer lifespans, less chance of depression, etc. I wish I could believe sometimes. I would love to think that I'll be able to see my loved ones again. That shitty things that happen will be microscopic compared to the good things that happen after death.
But again. I'm literal. I haven't studied other religions. I watch videos on youtube and read articles but that's the extent of my knowledge. I know I don't like the bible. At all. I read it when I was little and cried because I was so scared. I know that I can't put my own spin on it and that not only do I not believe it's not true, I hope it's not. I don't like the idea of being judged. I don't like the idea of having free will and my family and friends having free will and having a brain that tells me, "I don't believe that." and going to eternal misery for it.
There's not many of us who have this mind frame. It might seem like it when Van posts about it but let's face it, Van can post about loving to lick the inside of public toilet seats and everyone else would seem to have a sudden passion for liking human waste in their mouths.
But I will tell you right now. I didn't suddenly decide to not believe in anything because Lord Hansis did.
I understand people were uncomfortable with the tone the speaker took.
To me though... it's hard as a non-believer to not... laugh.
I'm not laughing at you. When I'm told the devil is a time-traveler who warped with a mans mind to copyright the bible before Jesus was born to try to fool God's creations to turn away from him- I laugh. And trust me, I have heard it.
I am sorry if this offends you. I'm sorry if it makes you feel like I'm judging you or making fun of you because trust me, I am not. I have enough of that from people in my life that do believe and past sunday school teachers and religious friends that I wouldn't dare put that on someone else. I've had it done from people who don't believe and people who I have no idea where their beliefs are. It sucks. I'm not going to do that.
Okay. Let's do another experiment. And this really, really isn't meant to make fun but to show you where I'm at.
I believe in Zues and Hera. I believe that the deer that just passed my house is Aphrodite trying to steal the yellow apple in my house because she thinks it's the golden one.
And I want you to pretend this is the most common belief in our country. Not necessarily the apples or deer part but that all those Gods exist. That pictures of Hercules are plastered on peoples walls and every Sunday before church I dip my finger in Achilles water and trace a lightning bolt over my heart.
I'm not trying to be cute.
But say believing this has caused a lot of good in the world. Has helped people overcome addictions and change their lives around and be just good people. Believing all this has inspired them and helped them in ways none of us can begin to understand.
The belief seems silly. As is any belief in any god, in my opinion. The belief shouldn't offend though if it doesn't directly harm you. If it makes them happy- why care?
But geez. If this is all you see for all your life and every politician says he's a man of Zues and people say they will sacrifice for you- wouldn't it feel good to just be able to vent every once in awhile? To be able to talk to like-minded people and have a good laugh? When people tell me they're praying for me, I don't respond like, "LOL! That is so ridiculous! Why are you so dumb?" Actually. Never. I'll reblog silly posts or watch videos or yeah, have conversations with people that think it's just as funny. I will never judge you though. I will never tell you how to talk about your faith. I will never be offended. Because I know nobody is trying to be malicious in their beliefs. I know, especially with the lot of you, that your faith comes from your heart. That you love and aren't hateful.
I just wish that I could joke without being afraid of hurting someone's feelings. Or agree to someone on Vans stupid post without feeling like an asshole. And I can't lie that the other night I felt like I was a big one. And that upset me. I don't want my beliefs (or non hardy har har) to be taken seriously. My sister (who is also a free thinking woman of science) and I have totally different opinions on this by the way. Which is amusing.
Anyway. I was a bit hurt the other night. I felt like I had to keep my mouth shut because obviously the video and Van himself (though he actually didn't say anything that night and I felt he was unfairly criticized) were very unpopular. And it was probably unfair to tag myself to that. I'll own up to that.
I'm not going to get into why I don't believe or the history of it or whateverwhateverwhatever. Because again, I just don't see the point of spouting that off to people who are happy in their ways. And I want to be able to have fun in ny and not feel awkward :p
Anyway, I love you guys a lot. And I really didn't want to say anything but it was eating up at me. I hope I made a lick of sense.... And this isn't supposed to make people feel bad at all. At all, at all, at all, at all. I just wanted to say something before I became a bitter, irrational asshole. We all have opinions on things and nobody should feel bad for saying theirs.
ps, I really, really, really think anyone who is ~willing and interested- they should give this a watch. It's long but it makes the brain nerd in me drool. I was Reid Oliver in a previous life. Except not half as smart. But we both lived without seeing Van/Luke naked. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWZAL64E0DI&fb_source=message