. Liqueured-up Republicans Gone Wild .
Work was insane last night.
In a nutshell it involved me leaving the quiet comforts of my home and my movie to return to work and close the bar because our bartender was too shitfaced.
Depending on another co-worker - also getting shitfaced at the bar - to walk me through the new credit card close, I get the first drunkard packed up and chauffeured off...only to realize that lush 2 can't talk. Or see. He's lost his glasses.
How did that happen? Did you pour a bottle of vodka down your throat while I had my back turned?
I clearly had no clue how fucked up everyone was.
Insert terrible moment of panic as I realize I have absolutely no idea how to run the reports on this new machine and the bank slaps a hefty fine if you fail to settle in a timely fashion.
I make some phone calls and get the reports settled, blow out the candles and drag my co-worker out the door. He's now lost his ability to walk but has regained his ability to talk and can't shut the fuck up.
It's pitch black outside. I'm struggling to lock the lower dead bolt to the side door, down on one knee, when it suddenly swings open from the inside of the restaurant, smacks me squarely in the face and sends me flying backwards!
Out barrels R's very big wife, who, coincidently, is also my co-worker (and I have to assume has a key to the front door?). She makes a beeline for her husband, plows me over - I'm just getting up - and starts to windmill on her husband, attempting to beat his ass home and screaming shit about how he's no longer a single man anymore and he has no business being out this late at night, even if it is just across the street, when he has a family at home to get up with in the morning.
Okay, I didn't sign up for this crap. You, stop hitting your husband. You're an adult. And you, can you make the walk home without a seeing eye dog? You can? Good, go.
Losers.
And now, I'm going to watch Windtalkers. Pay my bills. Clean my house. I'm going to make myself a really nice dinner tonight. Maybe I'll even get a bottle of wine. I'm going to read on the couch and play records and just spend a freaking day by myself. I'm not showering either.
Tomorrow I want to go to a museum. Where would you go?
**edited to say: Windtalkers was the biggest bunch of junk ever made and I had No idea what it was about at all before I watched it.
In a nutshell it involved me leaving the quiet comforts of my home and my movie to return to work and close the bar because our bartender was too shitfaced.
Depending on another co-worker - also getting shitfaced at the bar - to walk me through the new credit card close, I get the first drunkard packed up and chauffeured off...only to realize that lush 2 can't talk. Or see. He's lost his glasses.
How did that happen? Did you pour a bottle of vodka down your throat while I had my back turned?
I clearly had no clue how fucked up everyone was.
Insert terrible moment of panic as I realize I have absolutely no idea how to run the reports on this new machine and the bank slaps a hefty fine if you fail to settle in a timely fashion.
I make some phone calls and get the reports settled, blow out the candles and drag my co-worker out the door. He's now lost his ability to walk but has regained his ability to talk and can't shut the fuck up.
It's pitch black outside. I'm struggling to lock the lower dead bolt to the side door, down on one knee, when it suddenly swings open from the inside of the restaurant, smacks me squarely in the face and sends me flying backwards!
Out barrels R's very big wife, who, coincidently, is also my co-worker (and I have to assume has a key to the front door?). She makes a beeline for her husband, plows me over - I'm just getting up - and starts to windmill on her husband, attempting to beat his ass home and screaming shit about how he's no longer a single man anymore and he has no business being out this late at night, even if it is just across the street, when he has a family at home to get up with in the morning.
Okay, I didn't sign up for this crap. You, stop hitting your husband. You're an adult. And you, can you make the walk home without a seeing eye dog? You can? Good, go.
Losers.
And now, I'm going to watch Windtalkers. Pay my bills. Clean my house. I'm going to make myself a really nice dinner tonight. Maybe I'll even get a bottle of wine. I'm going to read on the couch and play records and just spend a freaking day by myself. I'm not showering either.
Tomorrow I want to go to a museum. Where would you go?
**edited to say: Windtalkers was the biggest bunch of junk ever made and I had No idea what it was about at all before I watched it.