*Picks up the nativity scene under the tree and holds it to ear*, "I CAN HEAR THE OCEAN!"
I'll start this off by saying that this is the most productive thing that i've done all day. I can't stand it.
I was disappointed today, the same kind of disappointment I feel on my birthday. I always want to cry. So much hype and build up to receive a bunch of new shit that loses a bit of its value with every passing minute. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the holidays. I like having my entire immediate family home. I love to watch my parents faces when we all eat dinner or watch a movie together, because their faces look so perfect when they're observing what they've created together. So much life and so much love and so much potential for even more life and love. It's just so perfect. Everything is always perfect, I've decided. I'm a sucker for perfection anyway.
Everybody asks everybody what they got for christmas. Me? Just some stuff. Dad did pick me out some nice new speakers for my imacie, my old mac ones were pretty crappy and produced muffled sound, and now I've gots me a nice subwoofer and sound that is clear as a bell. Yeah, there's other stuff too, but I don't care to talk about it right now. I feel sick.
Well, my spirits have been pretty low lately, and I'm trying my hardest to raise them but there's really only so much I can do. I don't want to resort to relying on other people to keep me satisfied in one way or another, but maybe that's what it all comes down to. Other people. Somebody! But there is nobody. I don't know, mum hasn't been feeling well lately and that's something, I can't seem to get myself to do anything that I really should be doing, and that's something too. I need to go on a nice nature walk, I need some fresh air and some exercise and some clean water and maybe a shower and a poorly lit room and a 20 minute meditation session. I'm going to clean up tomorrow, clean up the mess I've made today and this week. The holidays called for indolence and indulgence, that's why they're looked forward to so much! How bout them human nature apples! Whatever, It's okay to be happy.
All I want for christmas is a Lloyd Dobler. I watched that before with my sister. He makes me so sad.
I wish I could find that picture of Uncle Oscar from Arrested Development (seazon2 which is currently in my possession) doing the same thing beneath Lucielle's window. Most movies make me sad. Hell, the 40-year-old VIRGIN made me sad, too. I can't win. Not on christmas. Not on chanukah. I can't win tonight.
I need a good cry, that's what I need. Last night, at my god father's christmas eve party, I spoke to a lot of adults, and come to think of it.. I felt the most comfortable inside of a conversation that I've felt in a while. I had one conversation with one guy named Jeff, he must have been in his late 40's, my dad told me to talk to him about music because Jeff is in the music industry and lives the music industry and eats the music industry and whatever's the music industry. Jeff is into some really good stuff, he's real big on my morning jacket and songs:ohia, and when we were eating dinner, he propsed a mini-toast, just between us, a toast to independent music and Elliot Smith, god rest his soul! Then I spoke to my mom's close friend Susan about meditation and how important and beneficial it is, and then about how important deep breathing is in general, and then we talked about computers and cellphones for a bit, then we talked about how meditative thinking can cure allergies, and so on from there. I've always enjoyed engaging in conversation with my parents friends, I mean, I always used to voluntarily go out to dinner with them, just because I enjoyed following along with their conversation, and I enjoyed the maturity and security. I enjoy my peers just as much I suppose, but maybe for different reasons. Often times I end up listening to conversations that consist of things like "Okay, guys, would you rather crap a softball or pee a marble?". LOL. Good question.
This week is going fly by (wire) so quickly, I just know it. It'll seem like a big messy dream sequence come this time next week. It's only 12, the silent night is young. Tomorrow I think I'll do some shopping online, I need to find a new mouse. Daddy picked one out for me, a good wireless i-can-do-everything-ever kind of a mouse, but he supposedly picked up the wrong box because this one isn't mac compatible, so be it. I'm thinking about investing in a video ipod, but I'm not sure yet. My current ipooopod pauses at least 10 times a song and it loses music sometimes and it just isn't right. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should wait a while. Money. I'll make my room look marvelous as well. From there, I don't know what I'll do. I'll do anything, I'll say anything.
I have a craving for a response of some sort.
I watched titanic this morning, or most of it. You know what that means. Today, christmas day/first night of chanukah-day, I've watched not one, but TWO movies consisting of terribly romantic love scenes that just so happen to take place in cars, plus the 40-year-old VIRGIN, plus a few good episodes of a.d, plus I've eaten a good amount of dark chocolate and a good amount of latkes and a good amount of apple sauce. I'm done eating for a while.
Jill's animal party was funny, pictures are here : http://www.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=34027065/a=39855332/t_=39855332 if you haven't already taken a look. I took a few brief videos too, but I still can't seem to get any sites that will successfully load up my video without stabbing safari/the rest of my computer in the gut. I've still got a lot to learn, have I not? I left mikey mallon alone under the mistletoe. I want to create some sort of a mistletoe head band that has an extended pole that raises some mistletoe above my head at a 65 or 70 degree angle, just for kicks.. and smooches, too.
Anyway, I hope all is well with you. My door is still open to you for new years eve if you're interested. Hell, my door is open all week long pretty much. I need to read Girl With A Pearl Earring, which I'm excited for. I really want to go to the Netherlands in February. "UGH!" Hope all is well. Hope all is well.
I hope all is well.
I was disappointed today, the same kind of disappointment I feel on my birthday. I always want to cry. So much hype and build up to receive a bunch of new shit that loses a bit of its value with every passing minute. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the holidays. I like having my entire immediate family home. I love to watch my parents faces when we all eat dinner or watch a movie together, because their faces look so perfect when they're observing what they've created together. So much life and so much love and so much potential for even more life and love. It's just so perfect. Everything is always perfect, I've decided. I'm a sucker for perfection anyway.
Everybody asks everybody what they got for christmas. Me? Just some stuff. Dad did pick me out some nice new speakers for my imacie, my old mac ones were pretty crappy and produced muffled sound, and now I've gots me a nice subwoofer and sound that is clear as a bell. Yeah, there's other stuff too, but I don't care to talk about it right now. I feel sick.
Well, my spirits have been pretty low lately, and I'm trying my hardest to raise them but there's really only so much I can do. I don't want to resort to relying on other people to keep me satisfied in one way or another, but maybe that's what it all comes down to. Other people. Somebody! But there is nobody. I don't know, mum hasn't been feeling well lately and that's something, I can't seem to get myself to do anything that I really should be doing, and that's something too. I need to go on a nice nature walk, I need some fresh air and some exercise and some clean water and maybe a shower and a poorly lit room and a 20 minute meditation session. I'm going to clean up tomorrow, clean up the mess I've made today and this week. The holidays called for indolence and indulgence, that's why they're looked forward to so much! How bout them human nature apples! Whatever, It's okay to be happy.
All I want for christmas is a Lloyd Dobler. I watched that before with my sister. He makes me so sad.
I wish I could find that picture of Uncle Oscar from Arrested Development (seazon2 which is currently in my possession) doing the same thing beneath Lucielle's window. Most movies make me sad. Hell, the 40-year-old VIRGIN made me sad, too. I can't win. Not on christmas. Not on chanukah. I can't win tonight.
I need a good cry, that's what I need. Last night, at my god father's christmas eve party, I spoke to a lot of adults, and come to think of it.. I felt the most comfortable inside of a conversation that I've felt in a while. I had one conversation with one guy named Jeff, he must have been in his late 40's, my dad told me to talk to him about music because Jeff is in the music industry and lives the music industry and eats the music industry and whatever's the music industry. Jeff is into some really good stuff, he's real big on my morning jacket and songs:ohia, and when we were eating dinner, he propsed a mini-toast, just between us, a toast to independent music and Elliot Smith, god rest his soul! Then I spoke to my mom's close friend Susan about meditation and how important and beneficial it is, and then about how important deep breathing is in general, and then we talked about computers and cellphones for a bit, then we talked about how meditative thinking can cure allergies, and so on from there. I've always enjoyed engaging in conversation with my parents friends, I mean, I always used to voluntarily go out to dinner with them, just because I enjoyed following along with their conversation, and I enjoyed the maturity and security. I enjoy my peers just as much I suppose, but maybe for different reasons. Often times I end up listening to conversations that consist of things like "Okay, guys, would you rather crap a softball or pee a marble?". LOL. Good question.
This week is going fly by (wire) so quickly, I just know it. It'll seem like a big messy dream sequence come this time next week. It's only 12, the silent night is young. Tomorrow I think I'll do some shopping online, I need to find a new mouse. Daddy picked one out for me, a good wireless i-can-do-everything-ever kind of a mouse, but he supposedly picked up the wrong box because this one isn't mac compatible, so be it. I'm thinking about investing in a video ipod, but I'm not sure yet. My current ipooopod pauses at least 10 times a song and it loses music sometimes and it just isn't right. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should wait a while. Money. I'll make my room look marvelous as well. From there, I don't know what I'll do. I'll do anything, I'll say anything.
I have a craving for a response of some sort.
I watched titanic this morning, or most of it. You know what that means. Today, christmas day/first night of chanukah-day, I've watched not one, but TWO movies consisting of terribly romantic love scenes that just so happen to take place in cars, plus the 40-year-old VIRGIN, plus a few good episodes of a.d, plus I've eaten a good amount of dark chocolate and a good amount of latkes and a good amount of apple sauce. I'm done eating for a while.
Jill's animal party was funny, pictures are here : http://www.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=34027065/a=39855332/t_=39855332 if you haven't already taken a look. I took a few brief videos too, but I still can't seem to get any sites that will successfully load up my video without stabbing safari/the rest of my computer in the gut. I've still got a lot to learn, have I not? I left mikey mallon alone under the mistletoe. I want to create some sort of a mistletoe head band that has an extended pole that raises some mistletoe above my head at a 65 or 70 degree angle, just for kicks.. and smooches, too.
Anyway, I hope all is well with you. My door is still open to you for new years eve if you're interested. Hell, my door is open all week long pretty much. I need to read Girl With A Pearl Earring, which I'm excited for. I really want to go to the Netherlands in February. "UGH!" Hope all is well. Hope all is well.
I hope all is well.