For british eyes only!
I could write a really long one right now, I've got some good material and inspiration and collected thoughts and memories and an underlying message and everything. I've got time, too, but I'm not ready yet. Not ready for the big one. I'll wait. I can wait because I'm patient. Thanks for making a mockery of it.
Lgay, I'm feeling blue. I restarted my computer before and mac lamps disappeared, but they're up and shining bright, yet again. I had an enjoyable weekend, to say the least. I'm done with growing up. I want to be gone for the weekends.
I could make some weak, false statements right about now. "Nobody cares about me". "Nobody loves me". "Nobody wants to talk to me". Sometimes that's the case. I slept and ate and wrote all day, and it worked out for me. I fell off a quick cliff and scuffed up my knees and that's why I cried in bed when I got home, but all that aside, things could have been MUCH worse. I've come to expect the ironic events, the dry humor, and "that's-so-typical". I've been talking about starting a new lately, escaping to the city every weekend and sleeping at kt's, exploring a bit, talking to strangers and making picnics in the snow. I hate it when people hate the snow. There are so many other things to hate. Snow is white and acceptable and legal if you know what I mean *elbow elbow wink wink*. I get through everything in school each day, trying to get something out of people, trying to get people to love me in one way or another. I'm failing. I say things and people misinterpret because they think they know everything about everything. They think they know about consciousness and feelings and what all of that means because they saw it on MTV true life : I have feelings, or they read it in a "teenfuck" magazine. Spare me. There's something and someone out there for everyone. Some people need to look far and wide for something that will settle their stomach, and I think that I'm one of those people who needs to WAIT FOR IT.. WAIT FOR IT..WAIT FOR IT..WAAAAIT FOR IT.. WAIT FOR IT..wait for it. I need to wait for it, and I totally will.
All rudeness and bluntness and pretentiousness aside, I'm hoping for a two hour delay, not a snow day. Snow days now result in a weak easter break. School isn't so bad, after all. It's a small world, after all.
I took note of a lot of things that went on in the city over the weekend, you know, funny people I saw at ted leo, my brother and sister and their friends and relationships, the cold hearted insights of some of my own friends, etc. I'm not looking to escape anything right now. What kind of a coward runs away from all the fun. I was talking to Brooke about highschool kids, and her description was pretty accurate. Everyone's looking for their niche and everyone's looking to have an opinion, no matter how invalid it is or no matter how little evidence they have to support it. Everyone's looking to grow up fast so they can live a fast life and drive a fast car and eat fast food. All I can say to everyone, myself included, is to slow down a little. Youth doesn't have to be wasted on the young.
I want to write so much more but I want even more to lay in bed and look up at my glow in the dark moon and play guessing games with myself to decode the shadows on my walls and ceiling.
Sweet dreams.
p.s. I lost my voice can I have yours?
p.s.s I tried to sing a note today and almost coughed up a lung in the process,
p.s.s.s :(
p.s.s.s.s why is there always something to be sad about?
p.s.s.s.s.s do you think the purpose of the p.s is negated once you stretch it out so far, enough for it to seem pointless to have ended the text so soon?
p.s. who cares
p.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s..s.stfu. arrested development was really funny tonight. especially how they tied the end into the "on next weeks arrested development".
p.s. i hate to let go of this so soon.
p.s.s.s.s.s. mac lamps time.
Lgay, I'm feeling blue. I restarted my computer before and mac lamps disappeared, but they're up and shining bright, yet again. I had an enjoyable weekend, to say the least. I'm done with growing up. I want to be gone for the weekends.
I could make some weak, false statements right about now. "Nobody cares about me". "Nobody loves me". "Nobody wants to talk to me". Sometimes that's the case. I slept and ate and wrote all day, and it worked out for me. I fell off a quick cliff and scuffed up my knees and that's why I cried in bed when I got home, but all that aside, things could have been MUCH worse. I've come to expect the ironic events, the dry humor, and "that's-so-typical". I've been talking about starting a new lately, escaping to the city every weekend and sleeping at kt's, exploring a bit, talking to strangers and making picnics in the snow. I hate it when people hate the snow. There are so many other things to hate. Snow is white and acceptable and legal if you know what I mean *elbow elbow wink wink*. I get through everything in school each day, trying to get something out of people, trying to get people to love me in one way or another. I'm failing. I say things and people misinterpret because they think they know everything about everything. They think they know about consciousness and feelings and what all of that means because they saw it on MTV true life : I have feelings, or they read it in a "teenfuck" magazine. Spare me. There's something and someone out there for everyone. Some people need to look far and wide for something that will settle their stomach, and I think that I'm one of those people who needs to WAIT FOR IT.. WAIT FOR IT..WAIT FOR IT..WAAAAIT FOR IT.. WAIT FOR IT..wait for it. I need to wait for it, and I totally will.
All rudeness and bluntness and pretentiousness aside, I'm hoping for a two hour delay, not a snow day. Snow days now result in a weak easter break. School isn't so bad, after all. It's a small world, after all.
I took note of a lot of things that went on in the city over the weekend, you know, funny people I saw at ted leo, my brother and sister and their friends and relationships, the cold hearted insights of some of my own friends, etc. I'm not looking to escape anything right now. What kind of a coward runs away from all the fun. I was talking to Brooke about highschool kids, and her description was pretty accurate. Everyone's looking for their niche and everyone's looking to have an opinion, no matter how invalid it is or no matter how little evidence they have to support it. Everyone's looking to grow up fast so they can live a fast life and drive a fast car and eat fast food. All I can say to everyone, myself included, is to slow down a little. Youth doesn't have to be wasted on the young.
I want to write so much more but I want even more to lay in bed and look up at my glow in the dark moon and play guessing games with myself to decode the shadows on my walls and ceiling.
Sweet dreams.
p.s. I lost my voice can I have yours?
p.s.s I tried to sing a note today and almost coughed up a lung in the process,
p.s.s.s :(
p.s.s.s.s why is there always something to be sad about?
p.s.s.s.s.s do you think the purpose of the p.s is negated once you stretch it out so far, enough for it to seem pointless to have ended the text so soon?
p.s. who cares
p.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s..s.stfu. arrested development was really funny tonight. especially how they tied the end into the "on next weeks arrested development".
p.s. i hate to let go of this so soon.
p.s.s.s.s.s. mac lamps time.