fuck fuck fuck the police...
so for those of you that dont know... i work nights... 8pm-8am... these are not normal working hours((i know... fucking amazing i have to explain the last part))
the normal kiddos have pt monday morning at 6am... me? i dont come in til 8pm if i work at all... today... i work at 8pm...
with the time difference... tne NFL games are played at 3am on monday morning... what does that mean i'm doing at 3am? i'm up... watching the games... drinking... enjoying the games...
so today at 5:15am i get a phone call "you're not going to like this... there's a urine analysis... 6am"... i tell my supervisor i'm drunk to which he replies "as you should be... make sure you walk or get a ride"
so i show up at the urine analysis... for those of you that dont know... it's a drug test... piss in a cup... technically... you're not allowed to take it while drunk... but yeah... they fucked up...
so anyway... we're all in formation... standing there... the 1sg starts talking about wishing he could do pt today... then out of nowhere he asks me "how about you spc boellaard... do you wanna do pt?" now let's remember i'm drunk and a cocky prick when sober... i reply "that's a negative 1sg"... he gets this odd look on his face... says "well why not?"... i quickly reply "i'm not entirely sober 1sg... and i dont like doing t in this state"...
the whole room goes silent... you see... showing up drunk to duty is a HUGE nono in the army... as soon as the formation is over... i get dragged into my platoon sergeant's office...
"you realize you just asked for an article 15 dont you? they're gonna take your rank, your money, and give you extra duty... why would you volunteer that information?"
i say "they would have known in 5 minutes anyway... and you cant article 15 me for this"
if the military justice system were the civilian... an article 15 is settling out of court... if you decline the "offer" you have to go to court...
they try to get me to say i was doing something wrong... i stand there and ask how i was in the wrong...
"you're a soldier 24/7... you should have been sober and ready for duty"...
to which i ask why day baggers((mon-fri 9-5 workers)) can drink on their days off... "you're a soldier 24/7 the same as i am"...
so anyway... people were pissed... i was laughing... they decided in the end they couldnt do anything about it((well no fucking shit... i was drinking on my time off)).. there are only three ways they can fuck you for showing up drunk to a piss test
1) you're underage ((i'm 24))
2) you drove ((i walked))
3) you're on duty ((i was off))
so yeah... it was quite the buzzkill... but now anyone who DIDN'T think i was cocky with larger than needed testicles that are going to get me in trouble...
wheeee
the normal kiddos have pt monday morning at 6am... me? i dont come in til 8pm if i work at all... today... i work at 8pm...
with the time difference... tne NFL games are played at 3am on monday morning... what does that mean i'm doing at 3am? i'm up... watching the games... drinking... enjoying the games...
so today at 5:15am i get a phone call "you're not going to like this... there's a urine analysis... 6am"... i tell my supervisor i'm drunk to which he replies "as you should be... make sure you walk or get a ride"
so i show up at the urine analysis... for those of you that dont know... it's a drug test... piss in a cup... technically... you're not allowed to take it while drunk... but yeah... they fucked up...
so anyway... we're all in formation... standing there... the 1sg starts talking about wishing he could do pt today... then out of nowhere he asks me "how about you spc boellaard... do you wanna do pt?" now let's remember i'm drunk and a cocky prick when sober... i reply "that's a negative 1sg"... he gets this odd look on his face... says "well why not?"... i quickly reply "i'm not entirely sober 1sg... and i dont like doing t in this state"...
the whole room goes silent... you see... showing up drunk to duty is a HUGE nono in the army... as soon as the formation is over... i get dragged into my platoon sergeant's office...
"you realize you just asked for an article 15 dont you? they're gonna take your rank, your money, and give you extra duty... why would you volunteer that information?"
i say "they would have known in 5 minutes anyway... and you cant article 15 me for this"
if the military justice system were the civilian... an article 15 is settling out of court... if you decline the "offer" you have to go to court...
they try to get me to say i was doing something wrong... i stand there and ask how i was in the wrong...
"you're a soldier 24/7... you should have been sober and ready for duty"...
to which i ask why day baggers((mon-fri 9-5 workers)) can drink on their days off... "you're a soldier 24/7 the same as i am"...
so anyway... people were pissed... i was laughing... they decided in the end they couldnt do anything about it((well no fucking shit... i was drinking on my time off)).. there are only three ways they can fuck you for showing up drunk to a piss test
1) you're underage ((i'm 24))
2) you drove ((i walked))
3) you're on duty ((i was off))
so yeah... it was quite the buzzkill... but now anyone who DIDN'T think i was cocky with larger than needed testicles that are going to get me in trouble...
wheeee