knocking me out with those american thighs
so it's sunday... and i'm hungover... i wouldnt be hungover... but my mom had to wake me up... i only get hungover when i wake up other than naturally... so i'm rather pissy at her right now... that was my last weekend of leave...
let's start with friday... it was my dad's bday night so we did that as a family... then i called up lee to go do whatever... we ended up driving an hour away to a stripclub... apparantly my shirt was fucking gold... i was wearing the "SPEAR BRITNEY" shirt... every single stripper there had something to say about it... my friends were getting pissy... this one bitch wouldnt stop asking me if i was married... it was starting to get on my nerves... then she started trying to guess how many kids i had... and i was just looking to get away =)... i got up for something and this hot lil stripper yells out "hey... spear britney... get over here" so i went cause yeah... hot lil strippers shouldnt be rejected... so we're both sitting at the stage with $1 in front of us... she says "so do i get to give you a lapdance or what?" i ask if she's ready... she asks me to watch her purse while she goes up on stage... then she moves her $1 in front of me and hops in my lap... starts licking on my neck and cheek... wrapping her legs all around me... i never did end up paying her for a dance... heh... some kid heard i was in the military and on leave so he handed me his vip pass... i actually went over to talk to one stripper cause she looked bored as fuck... we talked for a bit... went back to the vip room... talked more... apparantly it was her first night stripping... she wasnt really enjoying it... but god damn she is a good tease... i dont know how long we were back there... i do know that when we came out... the house lights were on and the chairs were all up on tables... it was sad... she was asking where i was staying but i had to go =(
she wanted to meet up again but i didnt go back last night... and didnt get any other contact info... she doesnt work again til the day i leave... after i'm already gone...
so saturday... we were in town... we went to skinner's pub at 7ish... early... i know... but the thing is... they had dueces wild playing at 9:30... so instead of just playing pool and leaving as originally planned... we hung around for dueces wild... dueces wild are a pair of guys that hang out on pianos and play shit back and forth... get the crowd into it... etc... by the time they came on stage i had already enjoyed a few tall rum and cokes so i was feeling nice... they started off getting everyone clapping and singing along to some old song... they stopped to shine this bright ass flash light on this one guy "oh? so you dont like this song? i've got a better one for you" and started playing britney's "not a girl" song on the piano... they got back into the other song and told him if he didnt clap and sing along it was nsync til midnite... there were quite a few team drinks involved in this show... they yell out team drink... the crowd replies... and after a few times... everyone drinks... you could put a tip on the piano with a song on a piece of paper they had there... i was buying songs for everyone around me cause i was in that kinda mood... the first one was jessies girl... the entire place erupted when that song came on... i was surprised... i didnt realize how many liked it... i tried to get lee on the asshole chair... it's a toilet center stage where people end up sitting with their pants around their ankles for a little while... just to piss off lee... i went up to a table of hotties and asked what they wanted to hear... and then i got that song played... =) i was hanging out with this one girl for a while... she kept wanting me to slap her ass... then we were over hanging out with another blonde... they asked for guys to come up on stage and she was insisting i go so i did... the guys who went up and had the balls ended up taking our shirts off... then turning around and dropping trow... i was free balling it so i shook my bare ass and laughed... some hot lil blonde up front grabbed my shirt so i had to talk to her for a while to get it back... i dont remember how much hair i messed up or asses i slapped... i do remember being completely trashed though...
so yeah... im tired
let's start with friday... it was my dad's bday night so we did that as a family... then i called up lee to go do whatever... we ended up driving an hour away to a stripclub... apparantly my shirt was fucking gold... i was wearing the "SPEAR BRITNEY" shirt... every single stripper there had something to say about it... my friends were getting pissy... this one bitch wouldnt stop asking me if i was married... it was starting to get on my nerves... then she started trying to guess how many kids i had... and i was just looking to get away =)... i got up for something and this hot lil stripper yells out "hey... spear britney... get over here" so i went cause yeah... hot lil strippers shouldnt be rejected... so we're both sitting at the stage with $1 in front of us... she says "so do i get to give you a lapdance or what?" i ask if she's ready... she asks me to watch her purse while she goes up on stage... then she moves her $1 in front of me and hops in my lap... starts licking on my neck and cheek... wrapping her legs all around me... i never did end up paying her for a dance... heh... some kid heard i was in the military and on leave so he handed me his vip pass... i actually went over to talk to one stripper cause she looked bored as fuck... we talked for a bit... went back to the vip room... talked more... apparantly it was her first night stripping... she wasnt really enjoying it... but god damn she is a good tease... i dont know how long we were back there... i do know that when we came out... the house lights were on and the chairs were all up on tables... it was sad... she was asking where i was staying but i had to go =(
she wanted to meet up again but i didnt go back last night... and didnt get any other contact info... she doesnt work again til the day i leave... after i'm already gone...
so saturday... we were in town... we went to skinner's pub at 7ish... early... i know... but the thing is... they had dueces wild playing at 9:30... so instead of just playing pool and leaving as originally planned... we hung around for dueces wild... dueces wild are a pair of guys that hang out on pianos and play shit back and forth... get the crowd into it... etc... by the time they came on stage i had already enjoyed a few tall rum and cokes so i was feeling nice... they started off getting everyone clapping and singing along to some old song... they stopped to shine this bright ass flash light on this one guy "oh? so you dont like this song? i've got a better one for you" and started playing britney's "not a girl" song on the piano... they got back into the other song and told him if he didnt clap and sing along it was nsync til midnite... there were quite a few team drinks involved in this show... they yell out team drink... the crowd replies... and after a few times... everyone drinks... you could put a tip on the piano with a song on a piece of paper they had there... i was buying songs for everyone around me cause i was in that kinda mood... the first one was jessies girl... the entire place erupted when that song came on... i was surprised... i didnt realize how many liked it... i tried to get lee on the asshole chair... it's a toilet center stage where people end up sitting with their pants around their ankles for a little while... just to piss off lee... i went up to a table of hotties and asked what they wanted to hear... and then i got that song played... =) i was hanging out with this one girl for a while... she kept wanting me to slap her ass... then we were over hanging out with another blonde... they asked for guys to come up on stage and she was insisting i go so i did... the guys who went up and had the balls ended up taking our shirts off... then turning around and dropping trow... i was free balling it so i shook my bare ass and laughed... some hot lil blonde up front grabbed my shirt so i had to talk to her for a while to get it back... i dont remember how much hair i messed up or asses i slapped... i do remember being completely trashed though...
so yeah... im tired