you left me hanging on like a string left unstrung.
and you opened, you opened up my eyes."
For once I will not filter myself. For once I am going to make it quite clear in every regard the way I feel of you. Firstly, I am scared. Secondly, I am so deeply mesmerized by you. Thirdly, if you promise to kiss me and pull me as close to you as is possible at least once every time I see your face, I swear that the firstly will evaporate.
and that is how it is. The way I feel for you - so deep, such love, and so different. In no way can even the idea of "fate" capture what is happening between you and I. In no way can kissing you on an open field when walking to the car capture the way you and I have taken that gravity that bounds the stars and proven even Galileo wrong. Forget about Galileo and the idea of gravity. Newton knew nothing because, my love (and I mean that more now than I ever have), Newton never felt what I feel when I hear you breathe and I feel your cheek against my lips. Newton never pulled someone so close and felt their heart beat, such happiness and completeness. Yet you turn around and I become that thought - you become that love of my life. You are becoming my history - that which, if when I write a book, I will capture every single moment and feeling with you as much is possible. And if I cannot be tragically bound by my language, I will run through cities to find you, pick you up, and tell you that you are the world to me. I will kiss you as many times as it is that I wish (and you desire) - I do not apologize for such kisses anymore. Nothing is more real.
nothing.
You stand in front of the crowd and you shed your soul. But do they see it, my love? Do they feel that which I feel when I watch you even in such complete silence? The way in which I feel for you is in no way comparable to the way that I can ever feel for anyone. I want no title, no "girlfriend", no "best friend", and no "tragedy" because with you I excel beyond such boundaries. Where I think would be freedom I find boundaries - so I say I am that titleless moment, the nameless experience, that you will experience for however long something this good may be allowed to last. I am that kiss that may leave marks upon your neck, but leaves deeper meaning than what most view as simply a "physical act". The point is simple (no - no it is not): I love you. Ja Teme (or however you spell such a beautiful word) Ich liebe dich. I need you. I want you. I can in no way compare you. Stand in front of the crowds and sing your soul to a crowd, watch as they stand in complete amazement. Take all that in for all that is worht because in that, my love, will you find the answers to every single question you have and will ever ask. God - I love this girl. This girl, that girl...it is you. The pronoun is again such a misconception - and while I could say "holly" or "napoleon", you're more than a name. you're that girl that i cannot stop thinking about. you're that girl that makes me feel a passion that no hour could measure. infinite - feel that, breathe that, become that.
tonight i missed twenty calls. then when I started answering, about three people called me to tell me that they love me so much. i've never had such complete relationships. tonight with cindy she said that she loves me so deeply and truly holly, truly, it was so amazing. i have exceeded my past and my future if even only in one moment. the words that the people in my lvoe have been saying to me have become such realities, not such as 9-5 routine. wake up only to go back to sleep.
but i have opened my eyes to you and in that i find fear.
never forget that i am fearful. never forget that i in no way want to "bound" myself in any sort of title. Yet you are much more, as earlier said, than a title. you are not comparable to any oter individual. hug me and pull me as close as you can. tell me that you need me. whisper that you would be lost without me. get lost in that forest, love, and I will rescue you. I won't use a helicopter this time, Holly. I will fly myself if only to find you. I don't even know what it is that i am saying anymore...the words are falling out into perfect place so quickily.
thoughts: if I tell someone that I love them, will I stop loving them. Those have alwyas been fears of mine. it's happened before: I love you only to become so completely out of love. life, i believed, ws a mandatory sort of condition - "the human condition" in which we were all bound. emotion has always been what many have deemed as my boundary - yet few realize it has been my freedom. And to who shall I apologize for such pure thought and intention? I close my eyes to try to sleep on this bed and all I can think of is your sweet hug, your "you promised you would lay by me", and the happiness of you staying takes over the entire room. If I wasn't such a realist, I would believe that the world has never been this happy.
i'm not a realist, and if I am you have by far surpassed such realism. If I am dreaming and you know this, do not wake me up. in fact, close your eyes and dream with me. I read once that if you dream for so long, it becomes an actuality.
Back to this fear: I always push away from people when i feel as if i have to make some sort of commitment to them. it is not that i don't want to, but because of my past (and that isn't a crutch as much as it is a true reason) it is an impossiblitiy. most important to me that you know is not a damn title, but that no one in this entire world can touch me as deeply as you have in your simplistic words and your all too complex glances. you sing beautifully in a crowd. i love you.
close your eyes: i love you. (but you have opened, you've opened up my eyes)
good night to the deepest breath of air I have ever taken in,
Natascha.
For once I will not filter myself. For once I am going to make it quite clear in every regard the way I feel of you. Firstly, I am scared. Secondly, I am so deeply mesmerized by you. Thirdly, if you promise to kiss me and pull me as close to you as is possible at least once every time I see your face, I swear that the firstly will evaporate.
and that is how it is. The way I feel for you - so deep, such love, and so different. In no way can even the idea of "fate" capture what is happening between you and I. In no way can kissing you on an open field when walking to the car capture the way you and I have taken that gravity that bounds the stars and proven even Galileo wrong. Forget about Galileo and the idea of gravity. Newton knew nothing because, my love (and I mean that more now than I ever have), Newton never felt what I feel when I hear you breathe and I feel your cheek against my lips. Newton never pulled someone so close and felt their heart beat, such happiness and completeness. Yet you turn around and I become that thought - you become that love of my life. You are becoming my history - that which, if when I write a book, I will capture every single moment and feeling with you as much is possible. And if I cannot be tragically bound by my language, I will run through cities to find you, pick you up, and tell you that you are the world to me. I will kiss you as many times as it is that I wish (and you desire) - I do not apologize for such kisses anymore. Nothing is more real.
nothing.
You stand in front of the crowd and you shed your soul. But do they see it, my love? Do they feel that which I feel when I watch you even in such complete silence? The way in which I feel for you is in no way comparable to the way that I can ever feel for anyone. I want no title, no "girlfriend", no "best friend", and no "tragedy" because with you I excel beyond such boundaries. Where I think would be freedom I find boundaries - so I say I am that titleless moment, the nameless experience, that you will experience for however long something this good may be allowed to last. I am that kiss that may leave marks upon your neck, but leaves deeper meaning than what most view as simply a "physical act". The point is simple (no - no it is not): I love you. Ja Teme (or however you spell such a beautiful word) Ich liebe dich. I need you. I want you. I can in no way compare you. Stand in front of the crowds and sing your soul to a crowd, watch as they stand in complete amazement. Take all that in for all that is worht because in that, my love, will you find the answers to every single question you have and will ever ask. God - I love this girl. This girl, that girl...it is you. The pronoun is again such a misconception - and while I could say "holly" or "napoleon", you're more than a name. you're that girl that i cannot stop thinking about. you're that girl that makes me feel a passion that no hour could measure. infinite - feel that, breathe that, become that.
tonight i missed twenty calls. then when I started answering, about three people called me to tell me that they love me so much. i've never had such complete relationships. tonight with cindy she said that she loves me so deeply and truly holly, truly, it was so amazing. i have exceeded my past and my future if even only in one moment. the words that the people in my lvoe have been saying to me have become such realities, not such as 9-5 routine. wake up only to go back to sleep.
but i have opened my eyes to you and in that i find fear.
never forget that i am fearful. never forget that i in no way want to "bound" myself in any sort of title. Yet you are much more, as earlier said, than a title. you are not comparable to any oter individual. hug me and pull me as close as you can. tell me that you need me. whisper that you would be lost without me. get lost in that forest, love, and I will rescue you. I won't use a helicopter this time, Holly. I will fly myself if only to find you. I don't even know what it is that i am saying anymore...the words are falling out into perfect place so quickily.
thoughts: if I tell someone that I love them, will I stop loving them. Those have alwyas been fears of mine. it's happened before: I love you only to become so completely out of love. life, i believed, ws a mandatory sort of condition - "the human condition" in which we were all bound. emotion has always been what many have deemed as my boundary - yet few realize it has been my freedom. And to who shall I apologize for such pure thought and intention? I close my eyes to try to sleep on this bed and all I can think of is your sweet hug, your "you promised you would lay by me", and the happiness of you staying takes over the entire room. If I wasn't such a realist, I would believe that the world has never been this happy.
i'm not a realist, and if I am you have by far surpassed such realism. If I am dreaming and you know this, do not wake me up. in fact, close your eyes and dream with me. I read once that if you dream for so long, it becomes an actuality.
Back to this fear: I always push away from people when i feel as if i have to make some sort of commitment to them. it is not that i don't want to, but because of my past (and that isn't a crutch as much as it is a true reason) it is an impossiblitiy. most important to me that you know is not a damn title, but that no one in this entire world can touch me as deeply as you have in your simplistic words and your all too complex glances. you sing beautifully in a crowd. i love you.
close your eyes: i love you. (but you have opened, you've opened up my eyes)
good night to the deepest breath of air I have ever taken in,
Natascha.